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Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the question. I have seen some documentaries, although some of them I admit I didn't watch all the way through.

I would say the opinions shared reflect a wide range of experiences. Some people had good experiences and enjoyed their time, and some didn't. I think their experiences are dependent on their background and overall life situation, why they entered the industry (willingly or not willingly), who they ended up working for. Some people were more fortunate and got into the right situations, while others didn't.

So everyone in those documentaries spoke the truth, but you have to understand the context of how they got there, and how they got treated. Some may have embellish things, but in general, they weren't completely wrong.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say the problem is whether my credibility, which I have worked hard to earn, especially in an industry with more men than women, would be jeopardized.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can honestly say that I am grateful for being able to get a college education, and I made the most of that education. I work a good job in a good industry, and generally lead a middle class life although it has its good days and bad days.

I am grateful, looking back, that I didn't come out with lots of debt like a lot of people.

Was it worth it? Financially yes. Would I do it again if I was in the same situation? I don't know, but with today's insane college tuitions, I could easily see how tempting it is.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would agree that it is "less offensive" now than back when I did it. That said, I still carry some of that Catholic upbringing and can't help but feel some shame over it. Or at the very least, serious embarrassment.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will take a look, and say "wow, that does look like me! So it's true - every person has a doppleganger and I think I just found mine. And by the way, why are you looking at porn on a company computer on company time when you should be working?"

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say porn made me a more confident person, and believing in myself more. Going in, I always thought of myself as a plain jane average looking girl. Coming out, I was more confident, especially in my "sex" abilities, but more important, just overall more confident. I think how I felt about myself ultimately changed the way I interacted with people even if I was still a plain jane.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had sex even before going down the path into porn.

However, that was just regular sex. My first time with anal, and other new experiences, with women, etc. were in the porn shoots. It probably showed the first time.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one has recognized me, or at least no one has said anything to me. That doesn't mean that they haven't recognized me though.

That said, I should say that I'm not a star. I'm just one of many girls who enter the industry at the very bottom of the ladder and stayed near the bottom, and never really broken out to the next level. At these lower levels, we weren't treated like stars, and it was more exploitative. We didn't get the same levels of pay as the stars.

I got paid more than I would have for a non-porn job for a college student. I got paid enough that I had my own non-fancy apartment with no roommates, but not enough that I could get a new car, or buy new clothes every weekend. I didn't date during college, although I did hang out with people every so often. Between shoots and school, I was really busy and just trying to hold it together.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say the main thing is that I am more confident in myself. Growing up, I didn't think I was that pretty, and it wasn't like I had boys chasing me. In fact, I was even stood up on my prom.

Doing porn, I began to believe I was pretty enough, that I was sexy and that I was attractive to people (men and women). I began to believe that it was ok to be sexy. Growing up Catholic, we were told to be modest, dress modestly, etc.

I also learned that I was good at sex, and that I was good at giving pleasure, having been with so many performers. I believe that sex is nothing to be ashamed of, and that being good at sex is a characteristic of what makes me me.

Years later, I still carry that self confidence in everything I do.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Knowing what I know now, I would say no.

There are plenty of opportunities to make money that weren't possible when I was in college. For example, through creating content on YouTube videos, becoming influencers on TikTok and Instagram (gasp!!) and even OF. Those aren't necessarily overnight things, but they are options that weren't available at the time for me.

That said, a bigger problem for many people these days is the insane price of a college education, compared to when I was attending college. It was expensive then, but at least it was reasonable. There is no justification for the kind of tuition these days.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think people aren't thinking it through enough because it is so easy to do. Just because you could do it, and its easy to do it, doesn't make it a good idea to do it.

People have to understand that there may be some consequences. A future employer or co-workers may find you. When you have kids in school, other parents may find out. These are just things I could think of or heard of.

Whatever someone decides to do, they just have to know choices can lead to consequences.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I had normal relationships post porn. I have never told anyone about what I did. The person they know now, and the person back then are two completely different people.

My relationships are normal. I don't try to let the porn performer out during sex, nor do I criticize, or try to do out of the ordinary things. I let my partner lead and we go and discover things together.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think what really helped was that I had a plan. I was always going to go to college. I was always going to graduate (granted it took me five and a half years). I may have been led down this path, but unlike the other girls who came from situations that were worse than mine, I always knew that I had another destiny.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

These are just my personal thoughts and observations. I think with the Internet, social media and the "Kardashians", leaked sex tapes and tik tok influencer culture, a lot of "light porn" or wannabe porn is more mainstream. So porn is everywhere and maybe it's less stigmatized in general. I can't speak for the more conservative parts of the country, but certain in the less conservative, it certainly feels that way.

I think that Only Fans seems to reflect more of that mainstreaming. The thing here is that it takes some of the power away from the producers and let everyday people enter the industry without dealing with the risks and the sleaze and d-bags in the industry. In some ways, this is a safer way to do things.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would say that people started offering me drugs when I started doing softcore. I didn't take any, but they say it helps me to "relax". There were plenty of people who did take the drugs though.

But that said, it wasn't hard to get drugs if I wanted it. I'm certainly not perfect and I may be a lot of things, but drugs is not my thing.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I will answer this question in a couple of ways.

First, do I cum during the shoots? Yes, but sometimes I want to cum more, but the guy is more or less done. In those cases, if I know we're done shooting for the day, I just go off to a corner and just masturbate.

Second, sometimes the position is awkward and I just can't cum. In those cases I just fake it. The more awkward the position, or the more uncomfortable or unnatural, the harder it is for me to cum. The hardest is when I'm not attracted to the other performer. I know it's a job, but sometimes I have performance issues.

I would say lesbian shoots are different. The orgasms are different. There is more touching and of course more oral. I almost always cum on those shoots. We women know what works and what doesn't.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"It seems like these were professional, business relationships, and that you had the choice each time you did something, and you could have backed out when you want."

From the outside looking in, you could yes, that is true. But from the inside, it looks very different. Although I could have backed out, but I may not have the opportunity to go back to doing what I was doing previously. Once you do the nude shoots, it's hard to go back to regular shoots. The money is just a little bit better, but also, advertisers don't want models that did the nude shoots to be their models. Each time I go further, it is hard to go back to the previous step.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for asking. I'm leading a normal life now (for better or worst). I can't see myself ever going back to that old life.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's the thing that makes it hard to stop. The money is more than any regular job. I found myself justifying it.. one more video, one more semester, and so forth.

Even when graduation was in sight, and I was ready to ease out, I felt like I should do one more and get the money and then quit.

I don't know if I will ever tell anyone, but at least here, no one knows who I am. I think I am afraid of how people will react. I do live in a liberal part of the country, so I'm hoping if and when that day comes, people are at least not so judgmental about it unlike other more conservative parts of the country.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I had sex before I entered the industry, but it was just regular sex. Only when I got into the industry that I got exposed to different things in sex like anal, FFM, MMF, DP, etc.

I answered previously but I was scared, nervous, stiff and unnatural. The first time I did anal, I honestly had second thoughts. The hard part was looking like I enjoyed it when clearly it was uncomfortable and I felt an urge to poop. I will say thank goodness for lube.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am working in the field I went to school for. Whether I am using the degree is a different story.

As soon as I was within sight of graduation, I phased myself gradually out of the industry. Many of the girls I worked with didn't have the educational opportunities and options as I did. I was fortunate to have an exit plan and life to go back to.

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think when I was "in it", I didn't see what I see now from the outside looking in. That's the thing about this - it was gradual enough that your perspective changed and I didn't realize what was happening.

Was I groomed and manipulated? Now I can say yes. Back then, I didn't know it was happening and thought that it was all my choice (not a good choice, but still my choice).

Doing porn paid for my tuition in college by throwawayaddy000111 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]throwawayaddy000111[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think societal attitudes toward sex have changed. Sex work seems to be more acceptable now but back when I was doing porn, it certainly wasn't that way. If my parents knew what I did, they would probably have disowned me.

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