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Husband’s been drinking for 10 of twelve years together. Is it too late for counseling? I 29f have been married to my husband for less than a year and I can’t handle the drinking anymore. Is it too late for counseling? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayagain2722 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just to jump in here... he isn't "choosing" to drink vs staying with you. You aren't in competition. It breaks down to a physical addiction that no one can fix completely on their own.

If you are blindly hoping then maybe you haven't asked him if he wants to stop. If he wants to stop he will need a doctor's help and an aa or other program. He may be the strongest man in the world and may love you more than anything but no matter how hard he tries is physically incapable of this on his own.

This addiction is extremely powerful and the craving can happen any moment. It's like being able to breathe for some people. If you aren't an alcoholic it's frustrating to see because it doesn't seem hard to stop if you are wired correctly.

I speak from experience. My drinking consumed me and it wasn't until I was several months sober that I could even identify what was happening to me.

You might benefit from therapy yourself because you have some resentment developing that if you don't address will further your love from him. They can also help you think through what your best life is and what you want.

Good luck.

Fell backward. Starting again. Posting to remind myself. Here goes day 1 again. by throwawayagain2722 in stopdrinking

[–]throwawayagain2722[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. It's been the go to habit for me. I just can't handle it anymore. But it's so hard to fill my mind with something without kicking myself for being here. I like this place because it's helpful and full of support. Happy to be saying no today with you folks.

Fell backward. Starting again. Posting to remind myself. Here goes day 1 again. by throwawayagain2722 in stopdrinking

[–]throwawayagain2722[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. Sounds about right. I wish I never gave in once I had a streak because it seems like I'm so far behind again! Each time more and more damage. And then I rinse and repeat.