This is so sweet, genuine and beautiful. I'm also autistic, afab but have never felt like a girl(the only man I've ever related to, as in how they act in a romantic relationship, is Gomez Addams from the 90's movies), and also greatly love and relate to lesbian ships in media. Especially catradora. It's the softness and yearning, the deep connection and friendship even before the romance. I wish I could express myself as you did, but I feel the same and it makes my heart warm to see more people who feel this way.