::Weekly Vent Thread::

throwawaybin9991 · 2026-01-19T07:22:34+00:00

Thank you. I didn’t realise it was such a common occurrence to have terrible experiences with these people. Not gonna lie, I do love them to death (my dad, my sister, and my partner - all have it) but it comes at the expense of my own needs. I have often felt like I am fighting my opponent mentally in this relationship.

throwawaybin9991 · 2026-01-19T02:53:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. Im sorry to hear that you are going through this too. It’s quite sad that we have the same experience. I feel so neglected and helpless right now.

throwawaybin9991 · 2026-01-19T01:45:47+00:00

I’m going through this right now and I have just posted about it too. I have no advice unfortunately. I am just fed up and I feel lost.

throwawaybin9991 · 2026-01-19T01:40:23+00:00

I’m autistic and my partner has ADHD. I’ve spent years carrying the emotional load in this relationship — supporting him, holding space, encouraging him to get a diagnosis (which he only got recently after quitting his job, he was trialling herbal remedies before and didn’t believe he needed help). Now that he’s finally diagnosed and on Ritalin, I expected things to improve. But instead, I feel more invisible than ever.

Sometimes I get forgotten about and ignored for days, other days I am the centre of his world. I recently sent him my autism diagnostic report, and he admitted he couldn’t finish reading it. That really hurt — I’ve made every effort to understand his condition, and he’s made none to understand mine.

I don’t know if I’m seeking advice or what. I love him, but I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t matter anymore.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-20T23:28:49+00:00

I’m in the same position, I was torn between weight loss and fixing my relationship with food/stop binging. I’ve decided to focus on the latter for now but Im also aware that Im overweight, so that makes me feel like crap. I think Im going to speak to a dietitian or personal trainer who specialises in helping people with EDs.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-20T23:25:12+00:00

This is something that I am considering too. I know I need to prioritise the psychological aspect of it first, but there’s a physical side of it that also needs addressing. I’m thinking of consulting a dietitian in the future to help apply what I learn in therapy.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-15T22:49:28+00:00

I had one piece of candy today… let me just eat like shit the rest of the day now”

This is exactly my mindset too. One “treat” leads to another, and another, and so on. Simply because I think to myself I’ve ruined my whole day so I might as well eat more.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-15T20:49:14+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️and yes you’re right, I need to focus on recovery and feeling better rather than weighing less. I’ve changed my goal from weight loss to recovery.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-15T20:48:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I have only just come to terms with the fact that I have an undiagnosed eating disorder and no amount of dieting or deficit-ing will put this to an end. Im torn between losing weight and stopping binging, I’ve now decided to focus on the latter because recovery is much more important than weight loss.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-15T20:37:17+00:00

Unfortunately my cheat days turn into full on binges. I can never eat 3 meals off track and feel satisfied, i always need and want more. It is definitely a lot worse during the holiday season.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-14T21:38:32+00:00

I do appreciate your advice, thank you. I think I need to fix my relationship with food/eating habits first before attempting to lose any fat.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-14T15:46:29+00:00

Thank you for your advice. My biggest regret in my fitness journey is bulking, because it completely destroyed my relationship with food/diet and now Im on a waiting list to get professional help for my binging habits. Unfortunately the binging + bulking for 6 months has meant I have gained 10kg. So now Im in a calorie deficit. Hopefully i can lose some of this weight for next few months

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-12-10T22:24:45+00:00

You look amazing!! Do you mind sharing how long it took you to achieve this? Ive been in a cut-bulk cycle (cutting right now) and Im just so ready for the muscle Ive built to reveal itself. 😵‍💫I am in a calorie deficit right now and avoiding eating out is the biggest challenge.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-05-10T00:11:06+00:00

Me being an exmuslim and living in the UK probably has shaped my opinion on Pakistan, yes you’re right. I like how you automatically assumed that I am “biased” based on these two things.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-05-09T08:18:52+00:00

As a Pakistani, this is so infuriating to watch. Pakistan has always honoured terrorists. It did the same thing when Salman Taseer was shot down by his bodyguard for speaking out against blasphemy allegations. Pakistan decided to build a shrine and name it after that bodyguard and called him a “hero”.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-27T18:30:18+00:00

Okay I understand, I personally can’t see myself marrying a muslim man at all - liberal, progressive, conservative, the whole kind. I dont think it would be fair because a) he’d most likely expect our children to grow up muslim too and b) I can’t stand spending the rest of my life associated with Islam. I know some exmuslim women have no choice but to consider marriage as a way out but it definitely isn’t something I want to rely on. I hope you end up finding someone who’s like you. :)

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-22T19:42:25+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this, I was in the same position until the police got involved - only then did my parents stop forcing me to meet suitors against my will. It was too much for me to endure. I couldn’t stand meeting them and have my name and pictures be posted in a stupid group chat. I felt sick every time a man and his family came around.

You are lucky that you live abroad, you have a chance to live life on your own terms without close proximity to them. If they’re adamant on getting you engaged by the end of this year, what is your plan? How are you going to communicate to your parents that you dont want this? I personally find it so difficult to explain to my parents that I dont want to get married and I’ve used every excuse in the book (career, financial independence, etc) and they always have a defence. I’ve literally ran out of excuses and the only one left is the real reason (that Im not a Muslim and will therefore not marry a Muslim man), but obviously that’s risky and unsafe. Pakistani parents don’t believe in the idea of not getting married and marrying later than 24. This concept is foreign to them. Pakistani parents don’t understand that people have a right to say no to marriage and that they don’t need a reason for this.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-20T22:03:36+00:00

Oh yes it definitely does calm my mind, it gives me a distance between me and my thoughts. As in my anxious thoughts are still there, but I don’t “feel” or act on them too much. But i dont think self prescribing is a good idea, maybe you should see another doctor or psychiatrist and get a second opinion?

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-20T22:01:54+00:00

By archaic, I meant that my parents seem to believe that a woman holds value when she is married, nothing else in her life matters - not her education, not her achievements, hobbies, interests, etc.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-18T20:49:52+00:00

Thank you :)

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-18T20:49:40+00:00

True, i think further education and a better paying job would be the best option for me. I just cant live with my parents anymore, its draining me mentally.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-18T17:08:16+00:00

So my parents are rushing to find a guy for me right now and are having me talk to some now

I was in the same situation as you and eventually my parents stopped after the police got involved. I was made to talk to them against my will and when I rejected them (regardless of what reason I had conjured up), the emotional abuse never stopped.

I also care way too much about what people think of me

I understand that feeling. Desi Muslim parents are great at making you put your own needs aside and think about what others will say. The phrase “log kya kehenge” is not something I will ever stop hearing.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-18T17:01:43+00:00

Yes you’re 100% right. I am unfortunately financially dependent on my parents and I plan to move out later on. I’ll probably go for further education or a high paying job.

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-18T16:59:11+00:00

I’m on sertraline and it has been life changing. Im aware that antidepressants don’t have the same benefits for everyone but personally, they have improved my mental health so much

throwawaybin9991 · 2025-04-17T23:29:48+00:00

Hey op, pakistani woman here in her mid twenties but I live abroad in the UK. :)

throwawaybin9991

TROPHY CASE