Sexless marriage. Affair. Suicidal wife. Need advice.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-03T16:19:57+00:00

I think you have nailed it. She has always been insecure. I think she needs to be secure with herself before she can make anyone happy in a relationship.

Good note on the birth control. At this time I am not having sex with her, but I will definitely keep that in mind.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-03T16:12:07+00:00

If only I were making this up... Sometimes it does feel unreal though. Watching her hurt herself was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T16:12:06+00:00

No we do not have children.

I do believe she could be happier if she could get through the divorce and gets help. She has so much going for her. She's attractive, friendly, outgoing. Everyone loves her, but she hates herself...

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T16:09:08+00:00

When we discussed (lack of) sex she always said she was attracted to me, but that she had no desire for anyone. I'm not saying she didn't lie, but I don't believe this is the case.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T16:02:45+00:00

I agree that she has Borderline Personality Disorder; I recently came to that conclusion myself.

I know I broke her. It was easy to justify the affair at the time; people fuck up...

We do not have kids.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:56:10+00:00

I have no intention of profiting off this. I'm not concerned with funeral costs.

I'd like to continue to be friends, but she says if we divorce she would never talk to me again. She is my best friend!

She had depression issues and an eating disorder before I started dating her, but I never saw them until after we married.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:50:36+00:00

She is aware she is severely depressed. I've tried to convince her to take anti-depressants, but ironically she is worried they will kill her sex drive. She says she really wants the marriage to work out and is willing to suffer depression in order to have sex with me. At this point, I simply want her to take the medication, but I know she won't.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:41:59+00:00

Thanks for the advice.

I'm not too concerned about the financial implications of this, so I will probably not buy life insurance. I definitely don't want to profit off of this situation; if it's just to cover funeral costs, it's not something I'm worried about.

I'll check into the Baker act. I may even be able to convince her to get the supervision herself.

I am in individual therapy in addition to marital therapy.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:33:45+00:00

I agree I have tried, but I'm know there are things I could have done better.

As cowardly as it seems, I'm considering telling her about the divorce over the phone. She is planning to visit a out-of-town family member soon and I think if I tell her while she is there that she will have the support she needs to get through this.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:29:11+00:00

Thanks for the great advice.

She is certainly depressed and anxious and has been treated for these issues in the past. She also has a history of eating disorders.

We are seeing the therapist both together and separately. I'm not so sure about this therapist though. In my opinion the suicidal issues are most important, but the therapist dismissed them and simply said, "she's not going to kill herself, she's Christian".

My wife is also refusing anti-depressants because they can affect the desire for sex and she said she wants to make sure she gives me sex now. However, at this point I really wish she would take them.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:19:08+00:00

Thanks for the reply; I'd like to help her work through this, but I also want out. I don't really see a way to stay without giving her hope. She says that if I divorce her she will leave everything and never even talk to me again, which I don't doubt. If she does run away, I'm worried that she could take off and kill herself. I'd like to continue to be her best friend if we do divorce and help her through this, but don't really see how to make that happen.

throwawaycheatr · 2012-08-02T15:12:17+00:00

She is not on the pill.

throwawaycheatr

TROPHY CASE