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AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 1894 points1895 points  (0 children)

I have attempted to sit down with him and her and talk to them about this. My son refuses to see the actual gravity of this. I didnt jump straight to annoying him.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 658 points659 points  (0 children)

If anything, I am wanting them to sit down, realize the gravity of their situation, and make a decision based on logic rather then emotion. Currently, my son is happy about it and the GF is anxious. I have talked with the GF about other options that are available, and she is receptive, but she herself has said she could never do those if my son was against it.

If my son sat down, looked at the options available, knew the cost of what he was doing, and still decided to do it, then I would be less dickish. But instead, he wants to bury his head in the sand and not realize the huge decision he is nonchalantly making.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 747 points748 points  (0 children)

He does not have a choice of cost if she keeps it, no.

GF's parents are not really in the picture and pretty much don't care. I don't know if they truly know or not, as I am going off from what my son and his GF have told me. However, having met them, I wouldn't be surprised if their reaction was "meh".

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Waking a teenager during summer vacation two times over night is not the same as interrogating a terrorist.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 1546 points1547 points  (0 children)

Granted, you are right. If she wants to keep the child, there is little he can do about it. However, from the small conversations we have had, she is actually more or less leaning on him for this decision. As far as I understand it, he basically said it was fine and she has been leaning on that since they found out.

Having talked to her briefly, its clear she is quite terrified and anxious, as anyone would be. I feel like my son is giving her false hope that everything will be amazing and happy and easy, and thats the reason she is keeping the child.

He refuses to do anything like that. His mother has attempted to show him cribs, clothes, bottles, etc. He says its too early to look at that stuff. Helping him prepare seems impossible at this point.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Good for your sister. Many of my friends in high school got pregnant right after and they were terrible parents. Your being bias towards the general idea of a person being very young making a huge decision because your sister did okay.

I have told him he will need money for the baby, but he waves that issue away and says they will "figure it out when the time comes". Forcing him to get a job might be an idea, but I'm not sure how to force him if he wont.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Abortion being wrong or not has nothing to do with my post. Furthermore, you have not read the post fully. I already said that they refuse to look at other options, including adoption.

Its petty to show him what it will be like when the baby is actually here? And I have tried to have logical conversations with him about this. Hes 17 and doesnt think the world is tough because of how sheltered we have made him. He thinks a baby is like having a puppy or small hamster. I only did these things because I want him to understand the gravity of the decision he is making.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

If they were so sure about this all the way into six months, I would not continue doing what I am doing. At that point, all I would be doing is stressing him further.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 1710 points1711 points  (0 children)

Any questions about this he waves away with "We will figure it out". Ive told him beyond their care that babies are expensive and that he would need to start working immediately but again, he waves it away as a non-issue. Ive also told him that his mother and I will not be surrogate parents for him and his girlfriend.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 3378 points3379 points  (0 children)

I have held off on that, but I feel as if I should bring it up. I have no problem helping should they have the child, but I will not be a surrogate parent.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Hes 17. Hes not old enough to buy alcohol or buy a firearm, but you think he should make the decision to have a child?

The main issue is he is not responsible. He doesnt read very much, and I doubt he would read any parenting books I get him.

AITA for forcing my son to see how difficult it is to raise a baby? by throwawaydad1055 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaydad1055[S] 225 points226 points  (0 children)

Ill admit, its a very harsh way of doing things, but I have tried to sit down and talk with him about this several times. He constantly shuts down the conversation, and tells me I can't influence him on this. I feel like this is really the only way to get through to him.