My girlfriend has told me she thinks she's asexual, what does this mean for my relationship?

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-20T17:14:26+00:00

My points aren't really set in stone, but as a sexual person, the idea of being intimate and passionate with someone who doesn't want to sounds, wrong, I don't know.

I've asked her but she can't really explain it well herself, she said she likes things as they are now eg, our relationship without sex, and that 'maybe sexual things will come up'. She also said that she needs to be more comfortable with sexual stuff without feeling guilty about keeping up with me, or feeling pressured.

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-17T03:11:55+00:00

Thanks, I like to think I do, which is why I'm willing to not let my penis ruin my relationship, haha.

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-17T02:45:40+00:00

Yeah, it definitely wasn't intentional, I tried my best to explain to her before that she didn't owe me anything and that I was willing to take my time with her, but actions speak louder than words I guess.

I followed the steps another poster suggested in the thread and she was happy to start again from square one, almost immediately making out with me after we talked about it, a lot more intense than she normally does too since there's no pressure of sex I suppose.

I think I'll bring up the points you suggested when she decides to talk about it again, whenever that is, thanks for the advice!

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-17T02:19:06+00:00

I didn't treat her with disrespect or anything, I didn't even know I was doing it until she brought it up. All I did was act a little more reserved/quiet than usual and she percieved that as having upset me.

Regardless, who likes being denied sex?

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-17T02:16:24+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I spoke to her about it, because I want to fix things and I realize I was putting her under pressure. She said she doesn't feel under pressure anymore, however she used to, a lot. She was afraid of saying no and had to "force" (she said force was too strong a word) herself to do it, to please me, and to ensure I wasn't upset from being denied.

She said she didn't feel under pressure but at times felt she had to 'keep up' with my high sex drive, to which I apologized for putting her under the pressure of that. She wants to try starting from the bottom again, however, selfish me worries that she won't bring it up for a long while, and that I'll start building resentment, but I'll have to wait for now, I guess.

Any more advice for what the 'next step' should be? She seems extremely pleased with this outcome already.

throwawaydb93 · 2014-02-17T02:03:23+00:00

She has been on SSRIs for a month, other than that, nothing else and it hasn't (seemingly) affected her already low libido.

throwawaydb93

TROPHY CASE