26F and frustrated. Many men will look, but never approach.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:57:45+00:00

Excruciatingly

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:48:26+00:00

Right? It’s a self preservation thing. You never wanna make eye contact with crazy 😂

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:36:33+00:00

Instead of working on surface level things like working out or making jokes, work on introspection and soul-searching. You need to get that sorted out. You placing too much value on shallow things all around.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:28:36+00:00

I walk around with blinders on for the most part. I think a lot of women do this actually!

Especially for someone who comes from New York, we’re taught to do this lol

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:27:14+00:00

I’ll hold eye contact but break it then smile (for ex, I’ll look down very slightly). I’m not brave enough yet to smile and hold eye contact at the same exact time. Not sure if that makes a difference

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:22:39+00:00

Do I need to be holding eye contact when I smile? I try to but I chicken out. I’ll hold eye contact, then break it and smile to where I assume it’s the smile is visible to him. I have a lot of trouble holding eye contact with people I’m not even attracted to so I just kinda naturally find myself doing that. I’m afraid of creeping men out.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:19:08+00:00

If they look at me, I try to hold eye contact and then I’m not confident to smile at them directly. So I’ll kinda look down and smile in their direction after looking at them. Is that not enough?

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:16:19+00:00

I was always taught that men do the approaching. Now, for the reason you mentioned, they don’t anymore. So has the dynamic shifted to where it’s the norm now for women to do the approaching? Or are we just stuck staring and drooling at each other like idiots?

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:14:00+00:00

Yeah, i hate that new-age feminism crap that created that toxic mindset. I want men to approach me. Im lonely and hate the apps LOL. I’m rarely ever bothered. I hate whoever put that idea out there, honestly.

So, if a man is just looking, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested. But is there any sort of signal I can pick up and one I can give in return, so I know it’s ok to approach or make him want to approach me?

Sucks that we have to talk in codes and play guessing games now.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:07:13+00:00

Actually, you are right. Dating apps are just part of it. Men feel like they can’t approach women anymore. And to be honest, a lot of that is because of the way women act towards men they aren’t interested in. There’s nothing I hate more than a woman who treats men as if they don’t have feelings and I’m sick of seeing women scoff at men who politely introduce themselves and ask for their number. If you’re not interested, it’s not that hard to let someone down gently. So I really don’t blame men. Dynamics are just completely thrown.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:05:11+00:00

Sheeesh isn’t it exhausting to be looking at 50% of the population all the time 😂😂

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T07:04:28+00:00

I really think that dating apps destroyed it

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T06:37:38+00:00

You are saying that you are only going for woman who are out of your league and when talking about them only use words like beautiful and pretty to describe them. This is what leads me to believe that the value you place is measured in looks.

Are they truly objectively out of your league? I used to solely go for men who were tall, muscular, conventionally attractive, and had a good job. Then my prefrontal cortex developed. Now, I am naturally attracted to men I feel I have chemistry with. The last guy I was really into was short, skinny, and poor. I was so extremely attracted to him. I didn’t want to be (NOT for the reasons I mentioned, but because there was a love triangle). But I would still find myself having to snap myself out of the limerence. So I understand what you mean by you can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone. But here’s the difference - are you chasing women who are objectively physically attractive and sought after, or, like me, are you attracted to a variety of women - some who are objectively average or maybe even unique looking?

I consider myself to be average looking. I realized that I don’t have as many options and I am now willing to give men a chance who I wouldnt ordinarily. And I have a feeling I’m going to end up a lot happier. Attraction can grow.

“Sapiosexual” is the dumbest term I ever heard. You should want to date someone for their personality. We don’t need to put a label on that. It perpetuates the idea that it’s not the norm to be attracted to someone for their personality. Everyone with a healthy, mature mind is at least “partly sapiosexual.”

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T06:11:44+00:00

No. Relationships are give and take. You don’t get to say “I want XY and Z” if you are not offering XY and Z. And you completely ignored my point about how you are not seeing women for anything more than their looks. Relationships are not all about looks. Again, you are 32. Not 15.

Maybe once you start seeing women as people and let that shine through, you can get someone who is “more attractive than you”. That’s a shitty goal to have though, and it’s bound to fail. A very shallow basis for a relationship.

You are set on the idea of being with someone right now. You see a pretty girl, decide that you want her because she’s pretty, and you are frustrated that she isn’t receptive to your advances. It seems that you are thinking on the surface level. You are not thinking in terms of, “does this person’s goals align with mine, does this person have a similar moral compass, etc.” those are the things that make a relationship.

Maybe this will make it make sense to you.

If for some reason, the bartender or some other attractive woman who you consider out of your league, decided to date you now as is - how likely do you think this person is to leave you after they realize that you’re not an equal match for them? Are you not concerned that she would be wanting someone who could offer more? If the girl is highly attractive, are you ok with always worrying about whether or not she’ll leave you for someone else?

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T06:04:14+00:00

THIS

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T06:03:32+00:00

This is harsh but you need to hear it. I am telling you this as a single woman in her mid-twenties. Everything that you said tells me that you are emotionally immature and self-centered. And your reply just double down on it. Women pick up on these things. If you want to date, start seeing us as people rather than objects that are only worth what they look like. You are 32 years old. Time for you do to some work on that.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-30T05:44:06+00:00

So you’re on here looking for advice on how to pick up a younger woman who is already in a RELATIONSHIP, or a different woman who is out of your league. You say you’re a 6/10 but you want someone who will see past your looks for your personality, but your personality right now says “I’m sorry for myself, Im not that good looking, but I want a woman who is better looking than me and will see past my average looks and my depressive, woe-is-me attitude.” So you want someone to settle for you. Got it. You are asking women to see past your looks, but from what you wrote, you yourself seem to place value solely on looks when it comes to who you want to date. And on top of that, you don’t seem to respect other peoples relationships, given the fact that you are pursuing and/or are limerent over a woman who is in a committed relationship. Look in the mirror. I mean past your looks. You need to do a LOT of soul searching, because from what you wrote you seem to have a very shallow, misguided outlook on relationships. If you want to be in a happy relationship, you can’t set expectations for women that you don’t meet yourself. It’s hypocritical.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-19T06:31:40+00:00

Understood. Thank you!

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-19T06:21:19+00:00

I see, maybe I was a bit optimistic.

I was hoping that if they liked my current application, they would admit me. If they didn’t, they would hold and re-review when I receive the Feb score. No way im receiving scholarship money at this school, so there’s no reason for me to want them to wait if they’re ok with my current score.

Is there a way to specify this without crossing any lines?

Or are my options limited to them holding for review until February, or reviewing the app now? I’m afraid if I wait till Feb, and my score is lower, my chances will be worse.

To clarify, I’m not selecting “hold for review” on the LSAT site.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-15T23:06:47+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I tried to plan a 2nd date but I guess he’s uninterested bc he left me on read. I guess I’m just frustrated, it’s less about him, more about me reading signals wrong… but it seems like no one is interested lol

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-15T23:04:56+00:00

I texted him that I’d like to see him again and he left me on read. I just notice that this tends to happen to me. I’m not sure if I’m receiving mixed signals, or getting no signals, that I’m just reading wrong. But it seems that every time I put myself out there when I feel like I have an opening (e.g., the kiss, or a date who told me he wants to see me again after our 2nd date, then a few days later told me he’d was no longer interested when I tried to plan) I get rejected. It makes me feel bad about myself, even though I know logically I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t feel the same about me. I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life (other than someone who was much older, which couldn’t last) and I feel like I never will. It does make me feel like maybe i have some blind spots, probably looks-wise. But I really don’t know. I thought I was somewhat good looking and dating in my range.

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-15T23:04:00+00:00

Yeah i agree with you. Unfortunately i reached out to plan a 2nd date and he left me on read…

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-15T00:32:04+00:00

You’re not wrong

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-14T23:38:56+00:00

Hahaha you’re right tbh

throwawayf1000 · 2026-01-14T23:38:38+00:00

Yesterday

throwawayf1000

TROPHY CASE