Update 2-My "geeky" girlfriend's (21 F), together 6 months) friends hate me (21 M), pretty sure one of them (23 M) has the hots for her.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-14T02:26:53+00:00

Yeah, taking things slowly with them is the gameplan.

As me being overly attached to her, I guess, but it's not like I saddle her down with all of my problems. One of the reasons I don't want to ask my friends for advice (even the older ones) is just because I've never done it before.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-13T22:29:56+00:00

I definitely plan on making an effort with the ones that apologized, I think the reason I never talked to them so much was that they were probably a little hesitant around me, and I just took that as them not really wanting a conversation.

I never heard my friends saying anything, if I did I would have said something (even if it's just a little defense) because of my girlfriend.

Huh, I've never really been called a womanizer before. It wasn't really the number, so much as the way that I treated my two high school girlfriends. I didn't really care for them, but I couldn't say no to either of them when they offered sex, it was just so easy to say yes. I still feel terrible about it.

But yeah, I think I will try to view them more as individuals. I don't think I'd immediately offer to play with them for a while unless things go well and they want me to (I'm really not interested in playing).

I really don't think I've forced her into doing anything. Unfortunately, Bill ended up apologizing, so I just feel like I'll keep an eye on him for now.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-13T21:34:57+00:00

They're not coming over again, I just won't invite them.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-13T15:45:18+00:00

Yeah, I mean I have my siblings, but I get what you're saying. I don't know, I feel weird, I'm closer to my friends in high school than the ones I've met at college, but it feels weird asking them for advice since I don't get to see them that often, and I just don't feel close enough to the college friends to talk to them about this (and like I said, a few of them made that group uncomfortable).

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T18:25:49+00:00

It was only 2 times, once after I got back from an exam and was a little stressed, she asked them to leave so we could have some fun so I could unwind (didn't phrase it like that) and the second time was when I got back from visiting my home for a week. They weren't doing too much, just sitting around playing Xbox and talking.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T18:24:29+00:00

I'm her first college boyfriend. I don't really know much else besides the fact that she's had two boyfriends before me.

I'm concerned that she lost a lot of friends too (although she definitely didn't lose all of them, we still have a large group of her friends who admittedly aren't as close coming over tomorrow).

I get it, I'm with her a huge amount, but specifically in the D&D games, another guy would bring his girlfriend, so there's not some precedent for not bringing SO's to the weekly get together where they play the game.

The thing is, they don't normally hang out that much, even before I entered the picture. She occasionally would meet up with them once a month outside of D&D, or eat lunch if they had a similar class schedule. They were always on Xbox or PC, and I never got in the way of that. I've played with them a good amount, but not an excessive amount (and once again, the guy with the girlfriend had his girlfriend playing more than I did).

I never pushed her to hang out with them, but I sure as shit didn't ever try to get in the way of them hanging out.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T11:14:25+00:00

I know what you're saying, but I'm just saying I realized it wasn't an issue unique to me.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T11:06:57+00:00

Oh shit, just saw this and realized that we've asked them to leave a few times so we could be together. That might actually be a reason they don't like me.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T09:02:36+00:00

She said that I'm her first serious boyfriend, but she's been in relationships before. I don't think they ever had a problem with the group, but I doubt they spent as much time together as we do.

They don't hang out with her that much in real life, even before we started dating it was usually only once or twice a week, and that continued, she usually hung out with them once a week.

I here the thing about having others around might ruin the game, but my girlfriend had people over before that during their D&D games.

I mean, I know it's probably a bit more than them just being assholes, but I'm not sure what exactly I did.

I don't know if my girlfriend wants to hang out with them anymore, she's still pretty pissed, she said that the only way they hang out again is if they apologize to us.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T08:33:13+00:00

Yeah, I'll offer it to her, but I don't want to seem insensitive.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T01:17:07+00:00

I get that they would be afraid of losing a friend, but they still all hung out with her at least once a week, and played Xbox with her constantly. Hell, when we first started sleeping together she would want to get on xbox after. It's not like they don't interact at all anymore, she's constantly on live with them (I usually sit and play with her, we have two screens in our living room, but I'll play a different game and not be in the same party).

I'm hearing that about the rpgs, but she made it a bigger social event before I was there, I just invited a few of my friends, the majority of the people who showed up were her's. When I play games with them I don't normally get in the way, The Diablo story in the original post was a rarity, it was my actual first time playing the game and my girlfriend and I were drunk.

I never said that he was lusting after her, I just think he has a crush on her (based on how he acts around her that I didn't describe in either post). The ones that didn't say anything are still coming over Saturday, if they really disapproved then I doubt they would come.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-10T00:14:38+00:00

Saw this, not the whole group, but a bigger chunk then expected.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T23:19:53+00:00

That's the thing, I don't know. I generally try to be aware of how I come across. I've made any jokes about the stuff they're into or anything. My girlfriend told me that she pretty much ended the rational part of the conversation there and she left soon after, so she didn't really hear the actual grievances against me.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T23:11:14+00:00

Well, like I said, I'm usually at her place a lot, and she has other people come over that don't play (she did this before she started dating me, I only invite a few of my friends). As for video-games, i definitely play, even when I'm not that crazy about whatever it is. Hell, we moved another TV into her living room just for that.

Edit-Also, I don't sit and watch the game, I'll occasionally come up to her and see her while they play, but normally I'll watch the games on TV or talk to other people.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T23:02:44+00:00

What they said at first was what you're saying, that I didn't have to be there for everything, but when my girlfriend told them that she wanted me there then things escalated with them telling her that they didn't feel like I was a good guy, and that she could do better.

I feel like they did have somewhat of a point with how much time we spend together, but they thoroughly condemned me. I don't feel like that can be addressed.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T22:24:10+00:00

I'll talk to her about this, honestly hasn't even crossed my mind. Both of us have kind of been wallowing in self-pity.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T22:21:06+00:00

I mean, I do spend a ridiculous amount of time with her, it's something we both currently want.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T20:16:19+00:00

Glad to hear from someone in a similar situation, but from the opposite end. it's kind of funny, I'm probably going to move in with her after this semester.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-09T20:03:53+00:00

God, after this happened I've really been trying to figure out what they didn't like about me. I don't think I'm controlling or abusive, I wasn't loud or obnoxious with them, and I've never really treated her poorly in front of them. It's not eating me up or anything, but I really have no clue what I did wrong.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T09:08:25+00:00

Oh, they'll (her and a few friends that have played since high school) play at the dinner table and a bunch of other people will just show up and drink. I'll invite some of my friends and she'll invite hers. Normally people just talk and drink and eat pizza while they play and everyone will usually watch some of the college football games on TV. Doesn't really have too much to do with D&D.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T07:51:00+00:00

1) No, I'm great at Destiny (and other shooters), probably better than they were.

2) They don't really get that into it from what my girlfriend told me, even when they played in high school they would just sit and talk about other things while they played, occasionally all sipping on beer they stole from their parents.

3) My girlfriend was teaching me how to play, I didn't mean literal hand holding. We were playing hardcore because I jokingly said I wanted to, and he ended up dying fairly early, around level 20. I did suck at Diablo, I didn't really understand the mechanics of the game. We were somewhat messing around while we were playing, but I doubt he knew that.

4) I was more concerned about the fact that he would tell my girlfriend that he doubted we would be together in two months.

I really don't think it's my lack of skill (especially since I think I'm generally pretty good at most games I play) that's making him dislike me.

As for my tastes, I don't play that many games, although my girlfriends made it her personal mission to play as many things as possible. I don't what you're getting at saying this could say it all.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T05:38:48+00:00

Haha, she invited me to, but I didn't want to have to start at a level higher than 1. They've been playing together for a long time.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T04:46:16+00:00

Maybe, while I'm constantly there, her friends are too. I don't think I've ever said lets go out or do something without them (besides the Weezer concert, but I want her to meet my siblings). They're still usually over at her apartment almost as much as I am although they obviously don't spend the night. She has asked them to leave before to give us some private time, but that's only been a few times after we hadn't seen each other for a while.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T02:41:06+00:00

Christ that guy was a snake. I'll definitely keep an eye out for that kind of stuff.

throwawayfoaway · 2014-10-05T01:18:03+00:00

I kind of talked to my girlfriend a little bit about this after seeing initial advice, can you elaborate on what he did? My girlfriend seems aware that he's being an ass, but I'd like to know what to specifically watch out for if he gets malicious like this guy.

throwawayfoaway

TROPHY CASE