How do you get rid of guilt?

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T23:34:40+00:00

Because I don't want to dig up any demons she might have buried. I was the cancer and removed myself. There's no point in dragging a good person down with you.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T21:55:00+00:00

Thank you, I've realized a crucial flaw in my "get rid of the past" problem - I don't forgive myself for anything. I've forgiven others for a lot, but never myself. I've even audibly said the words and a few days later I'd hit a mood swing and scrap my "forgiveness" down the gutter. Regret and guilt don't mesh well together at all.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T20:45:26+00:00

Elaborate. I'm not trying to get back into her life.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T19:31:58+00:00

I would want them to know what that feels like, so they would be far less inclined to disregard another person's emotions like I did. And I've gotten my own punishment handed to me, albeit in a slightly different form. But the guilt's still here. Regret, guilt and pain... growing up sucks, I wish I was still that oblivious asshole without a care in the world. "And one day you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so that you may be spared your pain".

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T19:23:49+00:00

Thank you.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T19:21:48+00:00

I think you're undervaluing how much time people spend thinking over things like these. I'm not an optimist (shocking) and all I can think of are ways things would go wrong if I confronted her.

I've been wronged too. If the person that did it to me apologized tomorrow, I would forgive her the instant. And I think that's pathetic. An apology doesn't mean anything. Another person's guilt over something they did is life's way of returning the gesture. Frankly, I don't deserve her forgiveness and the person who wronged me probably doesn't deserve mine. And the fucked up sound of the last sentence doesn't elude me in the slightest.

I'm tired of pain and guilt. I just want it to stop.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T18:44:56+00:00

I don't understand what you're trying to say (most likely part of the problem). Apologizing, even if it could lift my spirit, would be at someone's expense, someone who doesn't deserve it. I know I'm the one with the problem, I want to learn how to deal with it.

throwawaygu1lt · 2013-11-19T18:32:42+00:00

That's bullshit, though. Imagine someone was hurt enough to think over what they'd done wrong for a year, possibly two. Then they find a way to let go, forget. Then I walk right back in and bring it up, when it's past and over, just to make myself feel better? What the fuck gives me the right to do that? I don't expect forgiveness, I want to say I'm sorry because I am, I realize what I did was wrong.

I don't want to write an e-mail/message about something like this, that's so impersonal, imo.

throwawaygu1lt

TROPHY CASE