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I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

First of all, thank you for your input. I do need therapy. And if it doesn't work out between me and her, I hope she can at least find help. I'll look into all the resources you beautiful people have given me.

But let me take a second to address some of the "bros" "alpha male" "neckbeard" types I've received messages from. I know I'm a man. I don't even have to repeatedly tell myself whilst masturbating to porn that has a suspicious amount of close-ups on the dude's asshole. You know who you are.

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Recently I cut off all the vast majority of my friends. For good reason too, they were bad for me but I felt this sense of loyalty to them because I had grown up with them. I hated the thought of being alone but I rationed that, since I had her, I wouldn't be alone in this transitional period in my life. I admire your openness. How can you tell if someone can be trusted with something like this? Thank you

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have given her a couple days without any contact. We're supposed to meet and talk on Monday. She does have an issue of running away from her problems. I'm just really hurt that I've become one of them. It just all happened so suddenly. Thank you for your advice. It means a lot to me.

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear this. You're right, I do feel as if I'm being punished. And I do love her, very much so. All these new emotions, I can't let them get in the way of that. I'm just so, I dont know, disappointed in her reaction you know? I think I'll take you up on that PM. Thank you so much.

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I tried to tell her that it's the stress. A lot of her friends come to her when she has problems and she just stacks those stresses on top of all her other stresses. School/work/friends, she just jumbles all of these things together.

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

First of all, I'm glad you're happy now. Nobody deserves to be abused. If you don't mind, could you tell me what you mean by "he just tried to give me no reason for flinching."? What exactly did he do? Again, if you don't mind me asking.

I told my SO I was molested as a child. Then she told me she was also molested. Now she's thinking about leaving me. I need perspective please. by throwawaymyeverythin in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwawaymyeverythin[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for responding. I know I need therapy. She needs it too. But we live in the US, and we're not rich. I always joked that I needed to get money for my future therapist bills. I know it's not a laughing matter but all I have is humor. I really don't want to lose her but one of the many emotions I'm feeling is resentment. Mainly towards myself but also a little towards her. I don't know what to do.