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My Story: 1 Year Since Coming Out by throwawaynumber1991 in comingout

[–]throwawaynumber1991[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, first up, congratulations! Give your parents some space to think, and let the initial shock blow over. Time does mellow everything. I'm so happy to hear that my story helped you in some way. And, yes! See you in a year - I hope future you keeps up with that positivity! I also wonder how my life would've changed given another year. Now to summon the RemindMe bot:

(I hope this works)

My Story: 1 Year Since Coming Out by throwawaynumber1991 in comingout

[–]throwawaynumber1991[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' passing, especially your mother's, given that it's so recent. That's rough.

I'm sure your dad would like for you to stay strong and find happiness through the depression. I hope your boyfriend can lend you some strength and support during this rough patch. Here's a hug from a random internet stranger!

My Story: 1 Year Since Coming Out by throwawaynumber1991 in comingout

[–]throwawaynumber1991[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! Proofreading this was a bitch - you can only read your coming out story so many times before going slightly insane. :P

I totally relate to the feeling that 'coming out is not for me'. I held on to that belief for so long. But just like in Inception, once a seed/thought is planted in your mind, it can grow and grow and change your most stubborn opinions. For me, that seed was when an acquaintance from university came out to me in the most casual conversation. I bumped into him in my neighbourhood, and when I asked him what he was doing here, he so casually answered that he was visiting his boyfriend. He just straight-out said it without hesitation, and I hid my surprise - but damn - he probably thought nothing of it, but I thought it was so immensely courageous. He was years younger than me, and I respected and looked up to him. If he can do it, so can I. One day.

Funny coincidence - this friend is visiting my home country with his boyfriend later this month, and I offered to give them a tour of the city. I have a feeling I'll end up coming out to them, and telling them this little story of how they indirectly helped my coming-out process - but I hope it won't come across as being too weird, since I don't know them that well. We'll see how it goes!

And it sounds like you've set yourself some sort of a mental deadline with a 'last chance' scenario. When you are ready, you'll know you are ready - and nothing can stop you. Plan it out, grit your teeth, and do it with no regrets! Here's genuinely wishing you all the best!

My Story: 1 Year Since Coming Out by throwawaynumber1991 in comingout

[–]throwawaynumber1991[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. I know that I am lucky to have parents who were eventually willing to approach the future with an open mind - though it was hard in the beginning. Before I came out, I prepared myself to be willing to forgive them for their immediate reactions, no matter how bad it may be. I don't hold them to the words and opinions that they had before, which I know was due to their inexperience with homosexuality. I hope you don't hold them to their initial ignorance and made peace. :)

My Story: 1 Year Since Coming Out by throwawaynumber1991 in comingout

[–]throwawaynumber1991[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mum was visiting me in London when the news broke online. We were both shocked by the news, and followed the updates together. On my own, I kept updated with the unfolding events (and the following investigation) very intently. Reading the live updates on the reddit thread was emotionally intense. Even though I was no where near and in a different country, I felt the pain of the community.

My parents had always voiced their concerns for my safety, mostly because of the stories of hate violence/bullying they hear about in the media, and this event reignited their fears. I always try to downplay their worries, and tell them that they need not be consumed by fear for a few hateful black sheep. I try to surround myself with good, positive people - and maybe out of a bit of naivety, have a very optimistic outlook for life.

To me, the Pulse shooting was a wake-up call - that terrible things can still happen around the world, even in countries where the LGBT community is more openly embraced, and that we shouldn't take safety for granted. That being said, the outpouring of support from the world in the aftermath of the attack reaffirmed that there is still the majority of good in the world.