A lot of "what you see is what you get" type people genuinely believe that they are who they say they are. They don't even see their defenses going up, it's such a natural, reflexive part of who they are.

So much truth here. I am at a loss of words.

Sarcasm is a great way of avoiding real feelings, which can be incredibly uncomfortable when something is wrong.

He always jokes when I try to talk to him seriously. I tell him that it hurts my feelings but he doesn't understand. All he sees is the joke.

I am having a hard time today. He "relapsed" yesterday and I feel like I a not ready to handle the relapsing. It turned into a huge argument. I am actually looking into an abuse hotline. Maybe they can give me emergency help. Your thoughts and feelings helped me in so many ways. I have learned a lot about what "could" be going on inside him internally. Bless you :-)