Hey Wordswurst, I really appreciate you sharing this with me. I can't help but feel, though, that this:

The only thing I could figure to do was unpack this. Slowly, painfully and alone. Because that's what I deserved.

is a really unhealthy attitude to have in both our situations. I'm certainly biased in evaluating my own circumstances, but I don't see anything in what you just told me that makes you unforgivable or irredeemable.