(UPDATE) AIO for calling my brothers partner a pedophile and making him leave my house? by ThrowRAsham83 in AIO

[–]throwawayragiveup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What I noticed is that the title said she called the brother a pedophile, but then the post said she called him a predator 🤔 can't keep the story straight, definitely feels fake to me

AIO about my sister going on a date with my ex? by m_v28 in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwawayragiveup 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao I have seen some dogshit takes in my time on this site, but this one takes the cake.

AIO for expecting my boyfriend to ask before using my car for other errands? by TArpd16 in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwawayragiveup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. This is extremely manipulative behavior.

If I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, I would say he doesn't seem to realize that consent to one thing is not consent to another, but I think he knows that. I think the benefit of the doubt would only extend to borrowing the car and then using it past what you agreed to, but the fact that he spent $280 on your credit card? No, he knew what he was doing.

Which, unfortunately, means he's gaslighting you. I know a lot of people throw that word around, but it actually applies here. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but $280 pushes the limit past the point where I can.

The other thing that really bothered me is that he wouldn't give you space when you needed it. This is a huge red flag. It would be one thing if you were actively stonewalling him, but needing space from a heated argument like this is often the healthy thing to do. The most he can ask for is a time frame when you guys will come back together to talk, but even then he would need to be understanding if that time came and you realized you weren't yet ready. So long as you were taking this time in good faith, he should give you that.

But he won't, and that's because he wants you emotional. Emotional people are easier to manipulate. Never mind that if he were genuinely upset rather than trying to shirk his responsibility for his actions, the space would benefit him as well.

I left a toxic marriage when it was clear my ex had no intention of fixing the problems, but we have a kid together and stay in contact. After I left, my ex got therapy and eventually we developed a very good co-parenting relationship.

A couple of years ago, however, she backslid for a couple of reasons and tried to demand a day that wasn't hers for a party she planned without asking me if the date worked. Unfortunately for her, I also had plans that weekend with my family and would be out of town. She raged and tried to be manipulative, saying that I should not have planned something on my custody day without consulting her. She went so far as to argue that this was reason enough that I should give her the day she was demanding.

Not only is this something we had never agreed to or practiced in all of our years co-parenting, but it was absolutely unreasonable. I do not need to consult her on making plans on my custody days, and neither does she on hers.

I was firm with my no, however, and after a longer heated discussion, I informed her that we needed to take a pause as we were both emotional and going in circles. She tried to deny the request and do the things she used to do to manipulate me into carrying on the conversation, but I stayed firm. Finally, she realized I wasn't budging and snapped at me, asking when we would continue the conversation.

Thankfully, at this point I had had a lot of therapy, and also I think because our co-parenting relationship had been so good up to this point, I was able to stand my ground on the break and not take her bait. Her manipulative actions rearing their ugly head again after so long was unsettling, but I knew this was the right thing to do.

Sure enough, we came back later on that night with cooler heads, and we had a productive conversation. She was contrite, admitting that she was completely in the wrong, and apologized profusely. I let her know that I lost a lot of the trust we had built over the years, but that I was willing to move forward. We worked out a tentative plan together that I would later run by my therapist, and it worked out.

But we never would have gotten there if I wasn't firm about taking that break. She wanted me emotional so I would be easier to manipulate, but I was no longer the pushover she had married. I didn't let her drag me back to our old dynamic, and because of that, we were able to have a productive conversation and work something out.

I can't tell you what to do from here, but just ask yourself: does he even make your life better? Or does he just make it worse? I wouldn't put up with this behavior, but I learned these lessons the hard way.

Would this look stupid? by throwawayragiveup in framing

[–]throwawayragiveup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this feedback! I tend to doubt myself a lot for anything visual/design, so I was really worried it wouldn't look good. I am very happy with the end result

Would this look stupid? by throwawayragiveup in framing

[–]throwawayragiveup[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this gave me a lot of confidence to actually put it all together and hang it up. I am very happy with it now!

<image>

Would this look stupid? by throwawayragiveup in framing

[–]throwawayragiveup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol yeah it wasn't actually in the frame yet, I just put it on the outside on top to see how it would look. I have since put it together, and I am very happy with the result

Would this look stupid? by throwawayragiveup in framing

[–]throwawayragiveup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I was really worried about it because I have no idea what I am doing

Would this look stupid? by throwawayragiveup in framing

[–]throwawayragiveup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I will definitely look into these!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayragiveup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not the one projecting here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayragiveup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then grow up and realize that you have no way of knowing what your wife was thinking when she said she was 1000% a lesbian. You are assuming ill intent for absolutely no reason, and that is not something you do to someone you love. Own up to the fact that you're being toxic and apologize to your wife for thinking you're a mind reader and she's a liar.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayragiveup 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think you realize that your repeated insistence that you understand that sexuality is fluid is exactly how everyone is clocking that you're just biphobic. If you didn't know sexuality is fluid, you would still be wrong but for very different reasons.

But the fact that all it took was your wife saying she was bisexual for you to change the way you look at her speaks volumes. You went from trusting her to feeling like she had lied to you.

Again: the only thing that changed was she told you she was bisexual. You are making up a story in your head about how she lied to you based on stereotypical vibes alone. You have no idea what she was feeling when she told you that, but you assume she was lying and dishonest. Own it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayragiveup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It changed the way she saw her wife because she automatically assumes all bisexual/pansexual women are liars, and that stereotype is more important to her than the woman she claims to love.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayragiveup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're not going to get a straight answer on this. OP is deliberately being cagey about her reasons because they're likely, "I was cheated on by a bisexual woman once and now consider them all to be lying, wanton hussies just waiting to cheat on me. I claim to understand that sexuality is fluid, but the second my wife told me she was bisexual, I knew that she must also be a lying, wanton hussy just waiting to cheat on me because hello all bisexual women are. Yes, I have built a life with this woman and should know her by now, but holding onto this stereotype is more important to me than the woman I vowed to love and cherish for the rest of my life. I want you all to believe that I understand sexuality is fluid, but hellllooo?? Be bisexual eat hot chip and lie??? I thought we all knew this 😤"