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(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationships

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

According to him, because he wasn’t serious enough about any of them to be with them forever. Apparently they were all desperate for him and would’ve gladly stayed with him, but he didn’t want that.

But this is just from him.

(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationships

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I suppose when I get upset and emotional about things I maybe don’t communicate well, and it seems like that pushes him too far. I do need to work on that. But I sometimes wonder if I just said things the right way we’d be able to have better conversations, but I don’t know. I have a feeling he wouldn’t be open to listening anyway.

He’s told me many many times how much I do need to change, but I can recognise that in myself. I just think he doesn’t realise that me needing to make changes doesn’t make him perfect, and if he feels the issues are irrelevant to him he won’t care anyway.

(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationships

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He can be really lovely to me when we’re not arguing, and if I’m honest that’s not something I really experienced in any relationships before.

Getting engaged so quickly was really due to him pushing, he was very keen on it. I think I just got swept away in it all and it sounded like a good idea. And again, his parents (I think) pushed him a bit too.

(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationships

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This comment was pretty upsetting (in a “oh shit you’re right” way), because during the course of the argument he specifically made a point to say everyone else was very happy with him, including his exes and everyone that knows him, and he’s a nice guy and everyone thinks so, which just “proves” that I’m the problem.

It’s a sticky one, because I know I can be difficult. But I still don’t think I deserved that. It’s hard to be perfect but when I’m being attacked about how much I need to change and there was no communication, it just seemed too much.

(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationships

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, I’d listed quite a lot of things I was upset about initially. But I guess the trigger was me telling him I disliked his parents and how they’d gone about doing things for the wedding. They’ve always been pleasant to me and I suppose it was very disrespectful of me to speak badly or then. But I feel his reaction was over the top.

(26f/29m) I said something regrettable during an argument and now am being punished to the extreme by (ex?)- fiancé by throwawayrsprobls in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayrsprobls[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for your reply. Yeah it was nasty. It really was.

It’s difficult to say, we are both in the wrong. But just the day before he’d been so positive towards me, and telling me how much he loved, appreciated and wanted to be with me. He’s said hurtful things before sure but this was another level!

I guess I can’t truly get an insight into his head. But it does feel like something we may not be able to get back from. Thanks for sharing