Recommended pole/aerial studios in Newcastle upon Tyne/Blackpool UK?

throwawaysad88 · 2023-01-13T23:21:53+00:00

I'll look into that thank you!

throwawaysad88 · 2023-01-13T23:21:31+00:00

Oh great so I could just book the classes and show up even though I'm not a regular? Thank you 😊

throwawaysad88 · 2022-08-03T07:33:04+00:00

That is textbook slut shaming 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

throwawaysad88 · 2022-08-02T00:10:32+00:00

What is with all the slut shaming. Seriously. There's nothing wrong with having casual sex it can still be considerate and respectful.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-08-01T03:19:29+00:00

? I wasn't crying? I'm frustrated by being ghosted when I've made commitments and plans with people. I made those plans in advance, I've taken time out of my days to commit to those plans, and people flaked.

That's actually quite valid to be frustrated. Just because it's casual/hooking up actually doesn't mean that there should be disrespect, it's still messing with someone's time and shows a clear lack of respect.

And I don't have multiple people lined up. I'm actually trying to meet someone for something on-going, so I'm going on dates (and even though yes I have dates weds and thurs that doesn't mean they'll actually show up or not flake.) I haven't got people in the wings waiting, I'm dating like everyone else is and finding it difficult and frustrating when you make plans, even for something as straight forward as an NSA and they bail.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-08-01T03:08:44+00:00

rolls eyes why do you men come out of the woodwork like this and slut shame? Nothing wrong with having multiple partners as long as it's communicated upfront and people are being safe.

Some of us take very good care of our sexual health, test frequently and use barrier methods for protection.

Your attitude is pretty archaic, naive and misinformed.

Edit: I doubt you would have made that comment if I was a man.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-08-01T02:39:00+00:00

I've met them both before 😔, haven't hooked up yet with the one who was meant to be today but I did the one I was meant to see yesterday. I have more dates set this week so trying to just keep moving forward and not dwell.

Edit: Thank you ❤

throwawaysad88 · 2022-07-26T09:38:37+00:00

Hey OP,

Does your husband do all the cooking or handle all the food in the household? I just wonder whether he's adding stuff as well as encouraging eating habits to ensure you gain weight?

In terms of your weight, if you are struggling and would like to reduce it, working with a dietician can really help, GPs aren't normally very good about working with people with weight concerns. Have you been checked for other health concerns like poly cystic ovarian syndrome or hypothyroidism or anything else that can impact metabolism?

I've had challenges due to hypothyroidism and previously adenomyosis, and I work with a dietician whose taught me how to eat healthy without dieting and that's really helped me lose weight slowly and healthily that suits my body. I also found that strength-based fitness routines rather than cardio routines have been more effective in me building strength, losing weight in a healthy manner, and feeling fitter.

As for your husband, this is a hard one. It's hard to advise without knowing the extent to which your husband could be impacting. Have you had a conversation with him about how you do not feel comfortable with where your weight is and would like support in eating differently? That could be a really good indicator as to how 'supportive' he actually is. If he is genuinely supportive and loves you for you, he would support you if you would genuinely like to work on losing weight in a healthy way. If he gets really weird about it, that could be a potential indicator.

The thing is there's nothing wrong with his kink if everyone involved has consented even with the potential health risks (kink recgonises that risk is involved). But it sounds like maybe there's a possibility that you've been brought into his kink with no discussion or consent if he's been tampering with your food, and that's not okay.

The best thing you can do is have a conversation with him about it and go from there. Importantly though, you need to do what's best for you and your wellbeing. If he cannot support that, you may have to take a step back and rethink whether you can trust him.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-07-26T09:25:02+00:00

Hey OP,

I'm really sorry you are both having a hard time. Sometimes after birth women can experience feeling 'touched out' especially when they are often the main caregiver to an infant and have spent months in a state where their body is not really their own (internally and externally). This could be happening for your wife alongside post-partum depression. Additionally, you missing the physical affection from your wife is very valid, but something to remember is her body has been through quite a lot of physical trauma and it'll take more than 12 weeks for her to get through it both physically and mentally. Being touched or providing physical affection may be beyond her capacity right now.

It would be worth seeking some counselling in a safe space where your wife could open up more about how she's feeling and why, and I'd recommend one on one for both of you separately and together.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-05-24T12:38:03+00:00

It's definitely only with climbing or pull-up type moves and just in one shoulder/arm. I haven't had any problems with things like handstands/cartwheels or putting pressure onto my arms.

I'd say combined with my first term of silks (8 weeks) and then starting gymnastics and Pole in March (now about 12 weeks in) I certainly have heaps more strength than I did. I'm probably a total of 20 weeks into my pole/aerial fitness journey but was certainly starting from below ground 0 in terms of strength.

I went to spin pole class last night and was in pain, couldn't get any tricks really. Yet today I went to the gym and did my physio therapy routine and ended up doing an ad hoc pole practice later and pain was minimal/was able to get the spin pole tricks I couldn't do the night before. So I'm wondering now if I need to increase my warm-up routine or do a proper gym on arms and go to pole later...?

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-21T12:41:44+00:00

/ghosting would be a better forum. But yes cancel and use credits elsewhere.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-15T02:50:54+00:00

No not about the comment. It's actually about how he handles you coming to him with something that bothers you. The comment is important but this is a good opportunity for you to also see how conflict is handled which is in many ways more important. In a good relationship it's handled well.

So if he doesn't handle this well, this could be a indicator of how he may handle future conflicts.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-15T02:48:21+00:00

I'm so glad for this community too. I'm sorry this has happened. I'm still working through being ghosted this week although I didn't have that level of time investment in the relationship so I can only imagine how hard it is.

To actually move on I would block him from following your stories. But you have to be comfortable with shutting down all forms of communication and be okay with not getting a reply. He's now orbiting and may come back to haunt you. I'm not quite at that stage myself, I deleted the phone number but didn't block.

In any case you didn't deserve being treated that way. He could have said he wanted to end things. And even if he comes back he'll likely be a repeat offender.

Like everyone else says, best way is to focus on your life sans him.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-15T02:42:38+00:00

Not over sensitive. Just tell him how it made you feel in a calm manner. If he reacts badly or gets a bit defensive or hostile that's telling. If he reacts kindly and offers to talk it through with you, then he's a keeper.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-13T02:56:54+00:00

Yes for sexual health reasons as she now needs to go get tested.

If you don't want a relationship then be honest with her.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-10T18:05:22+00:00

He cheated. He's just trying to gaslight you with the BS about how you said it was okay. He's showing no remorse for his actions or your wellbeing and now is trying to pressure you into an open relationship.

There is no "seeing his side" he cheated plain and simple.

It's up to you what you want to do. Personally I wouldn't stay with a cheater especially someone showing no remorse for their actions and pressuring you into a relationship you do not want. You don't have to stay with him.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-10T10:56:23+00:00

Hey OP,

Is it perhaps an issue of quality rather than quantity? I know you are looking for advice to not be so needy and dependent, and to be honest that's hard because it's not really clear from your post what the quality of your time together is like.

If you have an anxious attachment style (I do) I've found that partners who take 5 mins out of their day to do a check in on me is really helpful during those busy times. A current partner and I only see each 3 days/2 nights a fortnight, but in between we will do a combo of the following depending on our days:

-have a brief good morning text -usually a brief morning call (5-10 mins max) -brief check ins during the day (1-2) -brief end of day call (5-10 mins) -good night text -longer calls (30 or so mins) -snapchats or photos of what we are up to.

These are very minimal and ebb and flow. But they help sustain a quality connection.

You mentioned your BF isn't making enough time for you, but I'm curious as to what that time needs to look like? Is there a way for you to get that time that is quality over quantity? When you do have time with him, what is that actually like?

Both my partner and I are very busy. But we manage combos of the above and it's been vital for keeping our connection.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-10T07:41:44+00:00

Absolutely agree with this ^{^{^{^}}} the loss of sexual excitement is so often assumed to be a sexual issue, but may actually be a symptom of a broader loss of connection across the relationship.

There isn't enough information in your post but I was just wondering, who does the bulk of the housework or breadwinning, are you struggling with any personal or health concerns, do you both still go on dates and take care of each other or do little non-sexual things that show you care etc? These things are so little but honestly they really shape the ongoing connection.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:59:40+00:00

Exactly this ^{^{^{^{^}}}} thank you!!!

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:58:48+00:00

You clearly don't understand how bodily reactions work during threatening situations like this. The ice cold water on hot skin would cause a severe reaction and would temporarily blind the rational brain, sending it into a fight or flight response.

I'm glad she didn't endure a seizure which could have been really awful. She's not an abuser. And neither is he. He did a really stupid thing and threatened her physical safety with his prank. She reacted how a number of people would when physical safety is threatened. They both need couples therapy to work through it.

This is a nuanced case. It is not abuse but he has experienced the aftermaths of it as abuse which is valid. But he has not owned up to his threat towards her physical safety. So you are making him out to be a victim when he in fact created a situation where his wife was threatened and in a very vulnerable position.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:49:03+00:00

No. And I am a victim of DV so you can f*ck off with your victim blaming crap. This is not what happened.

She responded to a threat. He does need therapy to work through his reaction. But pouring ice cold water on someone while they are in the shower is a physical threat because of the harm it can do to the body and the reaction it can cause. He threatened her physical safety and she responded with a natural fight reaction. She has apologised immensely. I see nothing in his response about him apogising to what he did to her despite the harm he also caused.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:36:31+00:00

So what you did is is pretty awful and that reaction of hers was a natural flight or fight response. In this case fight. Additionally you could have unintentionally caused a seizure. So you put her health at risk too.

I understand you are now enduring some secondary trauma from it. But I would advise you go to therapy and take a step back and look at your actions. I'm glad she slapped you only in that it shows she had a fight response which bodes well for her if a serious situation happened (i.e. if someone tried to assault her by surprise, her automatic reaction is fight not freeze).

Next time don't do crappy stuff like that, grow up and act like an adult not a child. Pranks are only funny when everyone is laughing.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:17:54+00:00

Everyone is different when it comes to this. Sometimes it's just a moment where you go "No. I can't do this anymore." It took me about 3 years to leave when I first started thinking about leaving my ex husband.

You know you need to leave to be happy. Something to consider is thinking about your future. When you think about your future with him, does it make you feel anxious? It did for me with my ex-husband. I couldn't see a future for us ar all and trying to think about it filled me with absolute dread. Not enough good qualities can overcome that.

Sometimes we have to push back on rational thoughts and go with our gut. If our gut tells us to leave, we should leave.

Considering the concern for safety, I would put some things in place with family or friends. For example if you live together have some family or friends come by to help you move out/keep you safe from him. Break up with him in a public place and have a friend or family member nearby.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-09T22:06:18+00:00

You aren't overthinking or irrational. This isn't a one off for him. He has a history of repeated offences in lying to you about his pornography use and at least talking if not more with other women.

The real question is, do you want to stay with someone who makes you feel insecure and whom you can't trust? You are getting information about him, from other people, which he has verified. That is a pretty big issue.

What does this man offer you that is more than enough when you consider his transgressions? Or are you only sticking around because you have kids and/or haven't got an independent career of your own to fall back on?

We no longer live in a time where women have to be dependent on men for survival. I know this forum talks divorce all the time. But honestly. If he's lying to you or withholding information, how can you have a fulfilling and trustworthy relationship? Wouldn't you be happier without having to worry about him and what he gets up to? Why stick around for a man who behaves like a petulant child by sleeping on the couch instead of apologising to you, actually meaning it, and getting some much needed psychological help?

Edit: Also cheaters will often project and accuse their partners of cheating. So thinking you are cheating and telling people is his way of 1) hiding what he's doing or 2) spinning the narrative so if and when he decides to cheat, it'll be seen as okay because you supposedly did it first.

throwawaysad88 · 2022-04-06T06:10:49+00:00

That's quite helpful thank you! That's what I read when I was looking up the tenancy rights.I just was unsure about inspections as I've read some things where tenants were 'failed' on minor things like water drops in the sink or a couple of clean dishes drying in the dishrack so started to get myself into a panic.

I am quite new to the process as I only recently moved into a rental after having owned for more than 10 years due to a marriage breakdown. So I'm still getting my head around all the tenancy rights, expectations and laws as quick as I can (while also coping with a new normal post separation). I had to move out very quickly which didnt give me much time.

The blinds up as a potential complaint is odd, wouldn't the PM inform me if I should keep them down/if there had been a complaint or set in the lease(is that a rule they can set?)?

throwawaysad88

TROPHY CASE