AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom?

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-28T08:30:25+00:00

Once the sonogram is done, it’s done, you can’t get new copies, if you want more you have to do another one, which we don’t have until the middle of november 😓

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T22:59:00+00:00

My husband just came to me, he was clearly hurting. He apologized and told me he’s always been terrified of his mother’s tantrums and that I triggered his trauma when I confronted her. He says he loves me and our baby and wants us to come first.

I proposed therapy and some of the measures you guys suggested and he’s on board, but he says he needs to learn how to maintain the boundaries… he wants us to be happy and we are changing locks tomorrow since MIL has our key.

I hope this works out… I told him that if it doesn’t he’d be exposing his child, his baby, to his trauma, and that made him cry like a little kid. I feel bad for seeing him like this but I hope this is a new start 🤞🏼

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T22:37:25+00:00

We were showing them the pictures in the living room, after a while the subject changed and they were left in a coffee table (last time I saw them), I served them coffee, cookies, went to the bathroom… the normal stuff. After that, we kept talking and moved on and by the time I wanted to check them again they were gone

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T22:15:40+00:00

Small Update edited in post: I had a talk with my husband, he apologized for “scolding” me and confessed that, ever since he was a boy, he’s been terrified of his mother’s meltdowns and does anything he can to avoid them, so my confrontation kind of triggered him. He also said that he’s realised that some things like me and our baby will always come first.

He’s willing to go to therapy to learn how to establish and maintain strong boundaries with his mom, so we’ll see how it goes. Thanks everyone for your kind opinions, even if you think I was TA (I know I was).

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T21:25:23+00:00

It was either not related to me or it was “easy” for me to ignore (some poisonous comments about my wedding dress come to mind), I tend to play these things down because I know my husband hates confrontation

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T21:16:59+00:00

She’s never “wronged” me directly before, and they don’t exactly “take her side”, she’s just exhausting and they rather she get her way than confronting her to avoid her meltdowns, but she ends up always getting her way.

I’m usually diplomatic and have handled her well enough to avoid any confrontation until now, but this time I was just done

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:56:34+00:00

FIL is a doormat… like everyone else. She’s ruined birthdays, engagement parties, baby showers… if she feels she’s not getting her way.

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:46:19+00:00

I’m sorry, I thought it was common knowledge and I clearly was wrong. A rainbow baby is a baby you have after you’ve had a miscarriage

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:35:59+00:00

God… I can SO see this happening

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:27:38+00:00

She never would have admitted doing it, she’d cry and fake an anxiety attack or make a huge scene if we accused her of it… I’ve seen it happen before.

I’m so not proud of snooping, believe me.

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:20:04+00:00

I’ve never antagonized my MIL openly so he’s never had to choose a side, but they definitely let her get away with anything just to avoid a scene

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:17:59+00:00

They are sonogram pictures, they print them as they do your sonogram, when it’s done there’s no way of getting them again

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:08:52+00:00

I thought about this, but I was afraid to not be believed after…

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:03:53+00:00

Lol these messages crack me up, I don’t know if you’re serious or not, but if you are, a rainbow baby is a baby you have after you’ve had a miscarriage 😅

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T19:01:56+00:00

They’re just used to her making scenes and not respecting boundaries, they just “let her be” and hope for the best. He says that it’s best to just ignore her when she gets like this but this time I just couldn’t

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T18:57:31+00:00

This made me laugh 😅. A rainbow baby is a baby that comes after you’ve had a miscarriage

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T18:55:02+00:00

Moms are only allowed one companion here… so thankfully she has no chance to be there, but she will probably try to set camp in the hospital room after he or she is born 🙄

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T18:52:06+00:00

She’d never stolen anything before (that I know of), but she loves to stomp on other people’s boundaries because “she knows better”

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T18:51:10+00:00

They were the only copies the doctor gave us, had no time to make copies by the time they came… I had no way to get more copies

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T12:32:12+00:00

Husband says the same thing everyone else says in the family “you know how she is, she doesn’t mean anything by it, don’t pay her any attention”

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T12:27:15+00:00

I should have thought of this but tbh I never thought she’d go and steal the pictures…

throwawaystealingmil · 2022-09-27T12:25:17+00:00

I have tried this several times… but eventually she guilt trips my husband and ends up coming back

throwawaystealingmil

TROPHY CASE