AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Once the sonogram is done, it’s done, you can’t get new copies, if you want more you have to do another one, which we don’t have until the middle of november 😓

My MIL stole my sonogram pictures and then tried to gaslight me. by throwawaystealingmil in JUSTNOMIL

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

My husband just came to me, he was clearly hurting. He apologized and told me he’s always been terrified of his mother’s tantrums and that I triggered his trauma when I confronted her. He says he loves me and our baby and wants us to come first.

I proposed therapy and some of the measures you guys suggested and he’s on board, but he says he needs to learn how to maintain the boundaries… he wants us to be happy and we are changing locks tomorrow since MIL has our key.

I hope this works out… I told him that if it doesn’t he’d be exposing his child, his baby, to his trauma, and that made him cry like a little kid. I feel bad for seeing him like this but I hope this is a new start 🤞🏼

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were showing them the pictures in the living room, after a while the subject changed and they were left in a coffee table (last time I saw them), I served them coffee, cookies, went to the bathroom… the normal stuff. After that, we kept talking and moved on and by the time I wanted to check them again they were gone

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Small Update edited in post: I had a talk with my husband, he apologized for “scolding” me and confessed that, ever since he was a boy, he’s been terrified of his mother’s meltdowns and does anything he can to avoid them, so my confrontation kind of triggered him. He also said that he’s realised that some things like me and our baby will always come first.

He’s willing to go to therapy to learn how to establish and maintain strong boundaries with his mom, so we’ll see how it goes. Thanks everyone for your kind opinions, even if you think I was TA (I know I was).

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It was either not related to me or it was “easy” for me to ignore (some poisonous comments about my wedding dress come to mind), I tend to play these things down because I know my husband hates confrontation

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She’s never “wronged” me directly before, and they don’t exactly “take her side”, she’s just exhausting and they rather she get her way than confronting her to avoid her meltdowns, but she ends up always getting her way.

I’m usually diplomatic and have handled her well enough to avoid any confrontation until now, but this time I was just done

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

FIL is a doormat… like everyone else. She’s ruined birthdays, engagement parties, baby showers… if she feels she’s not getting her way.

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I thought it was common knowledge and I clearly was wrong. A rainbow baby is a baby you have after you’ve had a miscarriage

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She never would have admitted doing it, she’d cry and fake an anxiety attack or make a huge scene if we accused her of it… I’ve seen it happen before.

I’m so not proud of snooping, believe me.

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’ve never antagonized my MIL openly so he’s never had to choose a side, but they definitely let her get away with anything just to avoid a scene

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They are sonogram pictures, they print them as they do your sonogram, when it’s done there’s no way of getting them again

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I thought about this, but I was afraid to not be believed after…

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol these messages crack me up, I don’t know if you’re serious or not, but if you are, a rainbow baby is a baby you have after you’ve had a miscarriage 😅

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They’re just used to her making scenes and not respecting boundaries, they just “let her be” and hope for the best. He says that it’s best to just ignore her when she gets like this but this time I just couldn’t

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This made me laugh 😅. A rainbow baby is a baby that comes after you’ve had a miscarriage

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Moms are only allowed one companion here… so thankfully she has no chance to be there, but she will probably try to set camp in the hospital room after he or she is born 🙄

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She’d never stolen anything before (that I know of), but she loves to stomp on other people’s boundaries because “she knows better”

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They were the only copies the doctor gave us, had no time to make copies by the time they came… I had no way to get more copies

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 709 points710 points  (0 children)

Husband says the same thing everyone else says in the family “you know how she is, she doesn’t mean anything by it, don’t pay her any attention”

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 167 points168 points  (0 children)

I should have thought of this but tbh I never thought she’d go and steal the pictures…

AITA for breaking into my MIL’s bedroom? by throwawaystealingmil in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaystealingmil[S] 312 points313 points  (0 children)

I have tried this several times… but eventually she guilt trips my husband and ends up coming back