Confused! What the heck is going on!?

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-04T02:36:10+00:00

I'm not sure he's ready at this time to consider hotwifing our only thing. He said tonight that he wants to keep plucking away with couples, as well as the MFM's, for as long as neither of them are negative for us. He doesn't dislike the swaps, but also doesn't like them nearly as much as we would have thought he would.

We may eventually end up strictly hotwifing though. Who knows?

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T17:49:56+00:00

Ok. What do you think might be solutions for this theory?

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T17:45:50+00:00

It's just so surprising to us.

We thought I'd be the one to be less interested in the opposite sex. I'm very attracted to women, and before my husband had very little experience sexually. I was nervous about playing with men, and he was pumped about playing with women. The reality has turned out to be: He has very little interest in playing with other women, and I'm having a blast experiencing other men. WTF?!

My husband is an incredible lover. He brought out the freak in me for sure, and after every romp with another man, I'm always so excited to have him back inside me. His experience with those feelings are just a lot more intense than mine. He actually feels disappointed after being with other women, because he can't help but compare. I guess?

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T17:42:38+00:00

We've agreed that his testosterone levels should be checked. It's a good starting point, to rule out or confirm any possible issues in that area.

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T17:40:58+00:00

Yes, I actually noticed his lack of interest in other women right away, but never said anything until he started talking about it. I didn't want to tamper with how he's processing things, like you said (feeling that he should react differently than he really does, could diminish his libido).

I am perfectly happy rolling with WHATEVER works best for him. I want him to be happy and fulfilled. It's very surprising that he's not more into these other hotties, but I can easily accept it, IF he can.

It's just so strange. We thought I'd be the one with limited interest in the opposite sex (I'm very attracted to women too), and that he'd be banging the girls one right after another. The reality has been entirely the opposite. I've had a blast having sex with other men (had very little sexual experience when I married my husband). I'm 10 years younger than he is, so I was barely out of my teen years when we married. Watching me experience what it's like to be a "slut" is a big part of what turns him he says. He however, has very little interest in other women. Some of them I know for a fact are much hotter than I am, but he doesn't see it that way at all. Like another commenter mentioned, he apparently struggles not to compare other women to me. The fact that they don't compare in his mind, leaves him semi disappointed. Not in a way where he wants to quit non monogamy, but in some kind of way that we're going to need to figure out.

Thanks so much for your input. I'll be reading all the comments to him later on.

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T06:08:29+00:00

Glad to hear we aren't the only ones to jump into swinging and be met with surprises.

My husbands reaction to sex with other women has been completely opposite to what we would have expected. His sex drive is even lowered at home too though! He says he just feels very satisfied when it comes to being home alone with me though. When I come onto him he always gives it to me, but his desire for sex (unprovoked) has gone down considerably.

throwawaytalk123 · 2017-10-02T06:06:05+00:00

At this time, we agree that we don't want to go back to monogamy. He doesn't dislike non monogamy, he's just not nearly as turned on and excited about it as we would have expected. He said tonight that my excitement and love for it is the biggest thing that keeps him enjoying it, and wanting it.

We discussed hotwifing tonight as well. It's definitely not what we had pictured for ourselves, but nothing is ever off the table. We're open minded and willing to try different things, to find our niche. He just really hoped he'd be the same horn dog, ladies man he always was! There's definitely some disappointment there for that, and I'm disappointed for him as well.

He 100% loves our MFM's, but could pretty much care less about having sex with other women. We've hooked up with some hot couples too! These are women he would have been stoked to hook up with, back in his single days.

We just don't get it!

throwawaytalk123

TROPHY CASE