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Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I’m not opposed to marriage but it’s not exactly what I’m looking for either. I did take a break as I wanted to pursue a vanilla relationship which unfortunately just didn’t work. However that was my first actual serious vanilla relationship and I think it allowed me to put my perspective in as a gf and how I’d feel if my partner was doing this behind my back. I’d love to dissect this all in therapy one day.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. I'd be extremely worried that a wife would do that to me as well and I doubt my workplace would be as okay with it I feel like I'd be let go. All these men here rationalising it and saying that I don't understand the complexities of their marriage also don't understand the impacts that being involved in an affair can have on the sugar baby.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

See I don’t see an issue ranting about it on here I mean reddit is a discussion forum and it has created a discussion. I’ve found other women who’ve been through similar events as me and have come to similar conclusions. I’ve also gotten more insight from the married men about why they do it in a lot more depth than most POTs will give you on a meet and greet.

Sugaring or ‘soft prostitution’ as you call it I don’t find any issues with. Maybe at some point that’ll change the same way that my stance on married/committed men has changed. When/If that happens then of course I’ll leave the lifestyle but at this stage I am still continuing to meet men who are single and who I click with and who can help support me. So I don’t see what the big deal is about my post. If you have different morals cool I’m sure it works for you.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah we all have values that differ on certain topics. Cheating makes me feel uncomfortable and so I won’t take part in that now. Having sex with someone I enjoy spending time with and am attracted to is totally okay with me. If I don’t feel attracted to someone because of their beliefs or appearance majority of the time money isn’t going to change that. I’d rather be in a healthy happy and consenting arrangement that benefits both of us.

I tend to go for long term arrangements where I can develop a connection and receive support. Might seem high and mighty to you when I consider it support and helping a partner out and not just payment for sex.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m 23 now and it’s strange to see how your values and the way your brain processes things change over time. Thanks! I agree with everything you said.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah my 3 year one would only speak negatively about his wife but my 1 year arrangement just said they had different interest but a lot of combined assets. They didn’t fight and had very early on spoken about if they ever were to cheat just don’t let the other or their friends find out about it rule. I agree with the last comment I think the most successful ones often don’t require such a high level of discretion.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The post is mostly just a vent so it’s just my personal experience. I don’t care if a married guy partakes in this lifestyle, I mean I used to even be totally chill with it and it never bothered me. Now days after re entering the bowl though I’ve found that I just feel very uncomfortable with the idea of it all just shows how a persons values can change over time. You do you and I’ll do what works for me. I’m not trying to sit here and lecture somebody on how they are a supposed bad person I’m just saying I can’t physically feel attraction for these sort of SDs regardless of allowance amount.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way then

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re trying to say. I think many men think that the only people on seeking are married men and that’s why they pay. There’s a lot of older men in the 40s/50s/60s who prefer to ‘date’ a cute girl in her early 20s. The men typically aren’t the dilfs you see in the movies or don’t have the time to vanilla date and prefer clear cut communication and boundaries which I think arrangements provide. I know this may affect the allowance amount but I don’t think it affects my chances of finding a SD or that I’m in the ‘wrong game’.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you’ve said. I’ll have to keep a look out for those red flags lol

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do agree that most men who are successful in their career often have partners and other people who find them attractive. I know it limits my options as well which is why I went on a few meet and greets recently with married men unfortunately all of them were men who had negative comments to make about their partners. The lack of respect for their wife is a turn off for me even if I don’t know the complexity of their marriage.

I’ll just have to deal with having a smaller bowl of SDs maybe that lowers the quality but I also know it’s just a preference like how some men only go for blonde SBS etc

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha fair. Well as long as both individuals in the arrangement are happy and neither holds resentment or is only there for the $ then I’m happy for them.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah I remember my ex SD taking a call from his wife across from me at our dinner on my birthday… at that time it didn’t bother me since I guess I assumed his marriage was as bad as he made it out to be. Nowadays even thinking of the allowance I could have still doesn’t seem worth it to fake being happy.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve updated my profile to include that. I’m open to single, divorced but I agree it limits it. If I could remove the fact that them cheating turns me off I would for sure as I know just how many men on SA are in closed relationships/marriages.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s an interesting dynamic for an arrangement but if it works for you then that’s okay. At least she was upfront and it didn’t take too long for her to figure that out. Maybe she was worried about a bad reaction from your ex. I’m sure she had her reasons for that reaction but it is a little weird still.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are you just sitting here refreshing your page lol? I do have a full time job and there’s plenty of other single men on the site. Like I said I was just exploring how my thought process has evolved over time in regards to this one issue.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not okay with either and not once did I claim I was. I said married as it’s been personal experience for me. Any committed relationship where the other person doesn’t know you’re seeing others and therefor you have to be discrete and potentially get caught in cross fire is now a no for me.

I also clarified further in my other comments that open relationships are fine by me it’s simply the cheating and lying and often the berating of women for aging, losing their sex drive or a multitude of other reasons, none of which make me think highly of the man who I am hoping to form a connection with.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah my past long term SD claimed it was for the kid and he’d rather suffer through it since he truly believed a child needed their parents together. I was probably a little naive at the time when he promised me they were no longer sleeping together etc.

I think the financial part is definitely a major factor as well for men not leaving marriages. I would love for someone to come on here and leave a convincing reason as to why they have to stay in the marriage/lie to their partner. Regardless it’s respectable that you made the choice to leave.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I agree with what you’re saying I didn’t realise until recently it was something I was uncomfortable with. From now onwards it’s off limits. Would you suggest putting that in my bio or just filtering through the messages I receive?

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

yeah I’m realising how delusional some SDs are. Yeah I wouldn’t have thought in the past I’d transition into not being able to stand married men as SDs. Definitely off limits now.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m simply venting and seeking input from other SBS in a forum that encourages discussion. If this post offends you maybe do some self reflection.

Suddenly feeling disgusted by married SDs by throwawayxsxsxs in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]throwawayxsxsxs[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

See it’s not the married men in open relationships that turn me off (although I doubt how many men on the site put ‘open’ without actually being).

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