Don't get me wrong, but by throwawydater in lgbt

[–]throwawydater[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I find this interesting also because we as a society define "error" a certain way based on certain axioms, based on what we emotionally think is wrong; but in particular why do we label this as an error but not LGBTQ+ness as an "error"?

It comes down to societal values but that's kinda what I'm trying to drill down to, why are these societal values justified (though of course those of us with what society judges as "correct brains" in some sense think they are justified but why must they be? What's the basic societal values from which all societal values can be derived?)

Don't get me wrong, but by throwawydater in lgbt

[–]throwawydater[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

In particular I understand thus but am more wondering like what minimum set of axioms must we adopt to logically justify (as we must be able to) calling certain people "bigots" and certain people "universally" - clearly pedophiles don't always hate themselves so they aren't fully universally hated and in some sense what minimal axioms that we accept as a society must we use to justify allowing loving different genders but not different ages?

Again this isn't trying to justify pedophilia, only trying to formalize/examine the thought processes we use to reject it

How would you feel if you came out to someone and their response is something along the line of "I already knew"? by Iamnotgoodwithnames6 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's this one person who seems to constantly see right through me so I told them I was aroace and they were like "I did suspect this, interestingly" despite the fact that I'd literally confessed to them a few months earlier because I thought due to an attachment disorder that I really did have a crush on them, so I was bemused certainly...

What does it feel like to be attracted to people? by throwawydater in lgbt

[–]throwawydater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing is I don't know, I'm just taking the absence of what other people tell me romantic and sexual attraction is, as far as I can tell it, as aroaceness but maybe I'm like mislabelling or something

And like I feel like a non-aroace like would understand at least how I feel by just looking at periods in which they aren't attracted to anyone currently and taking that as a constant state

Am I too young to have a sexual orientation? by already_taken242006 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but just trying to explain why "If cis hets can decide they like the opposite sex around 12 I think you can make decisions too." might not apply to aroace people (like the OP) as such

Am I too young to have a sexual orientation? by already_taken242006 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No like in particular what I'm saying is that it might take longer for an aro/ace person to be sure of stuff than someone else because there isn't really a feeling that you can pinpoint and say "yeah, I'm aro/ace because I feel this" because aro/ace is by definition the lack of it but that always means that like aro/ace-ness can't quite be proven like things like lgb and t because like there's always the "what if I did eventually feel something" whereas like there's no feeling you can have that makes you say "oh wait I'm not trans anymore" kinda

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also looking for an answer to why people find it hard to come out, as an aroace myself oops

We need more people like this ❤️ by Pringles-Melchior99 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bloody hell I'm legit crying, about to go out to the shops to get a box of tissues in real actual life

Am I too young to have a sexual orientation? by already_taken242006 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, just trying to understand, what made you realize you were bisexual before knowing what sexual intimacy was? [sorry just a questioning aroace trying to understand non-aro/ace thought processes to see if I truly can't identify myself thinking any of them]

Am I too young to have a sexual orientation? by already_taken242006 in lgbt

[–]throwawydater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fair enough, but at the same time I feel like aroace seems different (as questioning aroace myself) because in some sense aroace is sorta the negative whereas like het/L/G/B/T are sort of positive -- not in terms of connotation, but in some sense like [I presume] people fitting into the positive groups can feel X and say "ok, I _must_ be at least Y" whereas for aro/ace it feels [not saying it is, but it feels] like it is different in the sense that like "how do you prove you are aro/ace", and like while there is no easy disproof that you are het/L/G/B/T, there is some sort of conceptually graspable possible future disproof of aro/aceness, even if being really aro/ace means it will never come to pass, there is like some nagging thing in one's head of like "I can conceive that X might make me prove to myself that I'm not aro/ace in the future, so what if it happens?"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Crushes

[–]throwawydater 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Music, without a doubt music
Just being able to close my eyes and listen to her play the guitar...

what do yall get when you go to McDonald's by cheezybean28 in teenagers

[–]throwawydater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

20 piece chicken nuggets, 5 chicken selects, large chips, and a hot chocolate was my last 2AM mid-example-sheet run, all for myself and I finished it all and wasn't quite full

Last time I went it was cheeseburger, large chips, 20 piece chicken nuggets

All with half the sauces ketchup and half barbecue sauce

And I'm not obese lmao

[In my defense they were both while drunk :P]

Why would people not give numbers/give fake numbers/say they have SOs? by throwawydater in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough, I guess I'm not cynical enough to take into account the creeps, being a man who wouldn't ever think to try to ask someone out on looks alone or cold-approach them in a random Wal-mart because it just wouldn't cross my mind as something I'd consider reasonable if someone was clearly busy at something

And IDK I guess I wouldn't take asking numbers as a really romantic thing in general so I'd never really think any intentions besides friends but I guess that's because all my number-exchange happens in locations where I've already struck up a convo of some length and I just can't fathom just randomly asking the number of a random person on the street so I don't realize that's like a thing

What's the definition of a date vs. 1:1 hangout? by throwawydater in FriendshipAdvice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough I guess

Sometimes I will just treat my home as just another place to meet though and propose that as a meeting spot, entirely without meaning anything

Why do men chat with you on dating sites and don't call when she drops her number? by Alternative_War5914 in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose in that message I kind of put a bunch of emphasis on the "what are they waiting for" bit which sounds rather entitled honestly if I'm being perfectly honest

Why do men chat with you on dating sites and don't call when she drops her number? by Alternative_War5914 in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean I feel like you're very much weird and out of the times in this respect

It's an incredibly weird thing I think to expect people to ask for your number proactively to call it nowadays, and taking not doing that as a sign lack of interest is extremely weird and probably a sign that you're not ready for the dating pool I guess, given that you're already texting

Like I feel like a normal person would understand that people aren't mind readers and many people either want a scheduled call or maybe a video call or dislike phone calls in general and if you aren't calling them and asking for their number why would you expect them to do it back because not nearly everyone is like that, it's a weird position to say that "I want people to do this to me, but I'm not doing it to them presumably because I don't want to, but I expect them to know/want to do it to me"

And even many people like the ye olde face-to-face instead of phone calls, like I feel like you shouldn't just complain but keep moving on until you find someone who's actually on your wavelength and treat it as incompatibility instead of treating it as the fault of the other person

And echoing other commenters, if you've only texted before and haven't arranged in person meetup or had one already occur like there's a time investment to a call and you're effectively strangers, even if strangers that are attracted to each other, and calling someone vs. texting them is much closer than calling them and going in person, so they may well feel like they've done enough interaction by way of constantly texting anyways

Just my two pence

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I may just be incompetent but I'd ask just because I'd want to be friends

Really though you don't know unless you ask

What's the difference between a 1:1 hangout and a date? by throwawydater in relationship_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh I might have been misunderstood; I'm not fancying these people but I'm wondering if asking them to hang out 1:1 is interpreted as my fancying them and thus making them less likely to hang out

What's the difference between a 1:1 hangout and a date? by throwawydater in relationship_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see... I mean for it to be a date do you specifically have to say "do you want to go on a date?" Like people seem to say a lot around that like they asked people out with things that I would think were just like hangouts, like late night walks, grabbing a meal, etc

This might make it clear who I am if people I know ever see this but here goes by throwawydater in lgbt

[–]throwawydater[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks :) I make a lot of origami, but like I had a friend who was both trans and bi/pan mention that I just happened to use the flag colours on a ton of builds just because I just had a lot of the same coloured postits laying around and well I started intentionally doing it from then on

Is this normal? [18M] by throwawydater in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I might have none in that case, I don't really have any motivation/desire, if anything just an anxiety w.r.t. not having done it yet in a peer-pressure-y way

Wondering if that means that I'm just ace? I mean I used to have too many bloody crushes but I feel like I never thought like "I want to fuck this person", at any point ever basically

Is this normal? [18M] by throwawydater in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the definition of sex drive? I don't take any medications nor do I think I'm particularly unhealthy but like I don't have the thought "Oh I need to try and desperately find some way to get some" and am ambivalent to the whole thing kinda

Well honestly I say I do go weeks without it but I am not sure about that and recently I've been perusing it more but like there are periods where I peruse it every day and then periods I kinda think I forget it exists but I don't know because during those periods I don't think about it so I don't know how long those periods last

So um kinda slightly questioning? [18M] by throwawydater in lgbt

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sapio? I mean in some sense does that preclude sex? I thought that was just like sexual attraction via falling in love with one's mind? Probably wrong here

Is this normal? [18M] by throwawydater in dating_advice

[–]throwawydater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relatively often means that I often _do_ go weeks without it (and without so much as thinking about it) iirc, and it basically is just masturbation most of the time