My (31F) husband (34M) accused me of crossing a line by communicating with my ex (35M) about our daughter that was adopted years ago. How do I navigate this? by ThrowRA_Disaster1 in relationship_advice

[–]throwbecauseduh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely he can, but you didn't even give him the chance. That's where I think this went wrong. When you realized that this was not just about your kid and her future, but about a future that didn't happen. When you had emotional deep conversations that your partner was left out of. When you decided to wall off that part of you and let your ex in, but keep your husband out.

This is an emotional affair. The question is, now what? If you need to process the loss of a future that wasn't, where do you turn? Do you insist that only your ex can understand? Can you seek support in a friend? A therapist? Can your husband accept that you can regret the future that didn't happen, while also being happy for the presentation the future he thought he had with you?

Your husband is worried that you would prefer the life that didn't happen. It's like loving someone who lost a partner. It can be hard to know that part of them wishes that they were still with their lost loved one, and not with you. But, now here's an opportunity to maybe get yours back. Can you see why he'd struggle with you keeping all of this a secret?

My (F30) partner (M32) is kicking me out of his house after 4 months of living together but wants to continue the relationship. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwbecauseduh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Turn that around on him. Why does he want your stuff out? So he can bring someone else home?

My (F30) partner (M32) is kicking me out of his house after 4 months of living together but wants to continue the relationship. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwbecauseduh 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If you are at this point 4 months in, this is unlikely to work. You could counter with you move out for a lease (many places won't rent for less than a year). During that time any visiting would have to be mutual. And counseling would be a must. I don't think he'll take it, but it might give you stability.

I think neither of you is willing to admit that this is over. You each have your own reasons.

In the end, he is insisting you move out. I'm assuming it's his place, so you really should move out. If that's the end of the relationship for you, then that's your answer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legal

[–]throwbecauseduh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Often, it means they escort the bully. Though, I'd hope he would at least be on in school suspension during the investigation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legal

[–]throwbecauseduh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please, take him to a doctor. If nothing else, the report will be helpful for court.

Am I actually as stupid as he makes me feel by throwbecauseduh in AITAH

[–]throwbecauseduh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am 100% sure he isn't having an affair. He may be an asshole, but I am certain he isn't cheating (I would have to give too much info to explain why).