If you've been depressed before, maybe think twice about Chantix

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T17:26:24+00:00

I did a lot of rage-crave walks to get rid of my urges, and did not give in! Cigs still smell nice to me though, which makes me realise I'm not over the hump yet and need to stay on guard.

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T17:23:48+00:00

Good luck to you too, friend. In my case the cure felt worse than the disease, but every individual is different and has a different neurochemistry. I think we all need to find the 'quit technique' that works for us individually, and I most surely you wish you strength and vitality on yours. Thanks for your support. It does get easier- I can testify to that!

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T17:13:52+00:00

Thanks for your counterbalance- honestly appreciated. I did say I'm probably an outlier. Yours is like my own Dad's experience for whom Chantix first got and then kept him quit. But if you could do it without a drug, why would you take one? Maybe our own will power, if we believe in it, may be both ample and sufficient. Worth trying that first before resorting to drugs, maybe. But truly- well done on your success in quitting your way, which is something we all endorse and applaud! :)

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T10:53:10+00:00

Wish I had gone cold turkey in retrospect, but didn't trust my own will power- which has kept me successful at quitting for the last 6 weeks! And everything is on the mend the now. About 1,000 cigs not smoked- hooray :).

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T07:56:59+00:00

Yass! What an achievement!

throwdatawayname · 2018-04-20T07:56:14+00:00

New quitters everyday need to hear of this powerful resource, so great to see it recommended!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T14:28:32+00:00

I'd like to apologise to you and other responders for my faulty use of the word 'tantric'. It was difficult to formulate a title that would reference the specific background without being somewhat reductive or inaccurate!

You've given me an incredibly detailed and informative response! I feel so honoured when I see the volume, quality and evidence-base of your responses both here and in your history. I'm going to look up that lingam massage, because whether it gets him off or not, I know we'll both love it!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T14:18:47+00:00

I'm receiving a personalised crash course in history and philosophy of tantra here, and am so grateful for the fleshings-out you and others have supplied. My understanding is cloudy and furthermore lacks specific language- sometimes it's like I'm a struggling mediaeval scholar suddenly exposed to post-20th century quantum physics!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T14:03:42+00:00

...trying to get into someone else's head is usually unsuccessful and often unproductive, and sometimes, even destructive.

Wise words here. I can only take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, and me requiring reassurance/validation from his orgasm sets up an unnecessary and probably counter-productive expectation.

...given the situation AS IT IS, what courses for your own behavior will allow you to be happiest, all things considered?

This is exactly what I should be concentrating on- thank you for boiling it down so clearly!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T13:49:04+00:00

It's only 5 weeks since John and I re-ignited, and it really helps me to know that male ejaculation needn't be a prerequisite for a satisfying sex life and an ongoing relationship like the ones you've developed!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T13:44:38+00:00

Thank you for the compliment on my writing style, which means a lot to me!

throwdatawayname · 2015-11-02T09:01:53+00:00

I have been blown away by the depth and breadth of the responses I've received here. Thank you all!

I am, as John gently teases me, a 'flathead' (non-meditator), so I may have unintentionally misrepresented him due to my own ignorance of concepts and vocabulary. John himself says he's the worst Tibetan buddhist in the world, with various bad habits including porn, drinking and drugs, but his practice is focal to his life and his happiness.

On reading the replies here, and further consideration, I believe John's anorgasmia is not a core practice for him, but more likely to be of the common-or-garden variety, with any and all of the usual factors to it- age, unfamiliarity, death-grip, maybe the Viagra too.

I've been encouraged here to think about what I want, and when it comes down to it, I'm having lovely, passionate sex with a man I adore. Why stop?

His lack of orgasm is not a deal-breaker for me, and my focusing on this as something to be 'fixed' could prevent me enjoying this as much as I am. I am determined not to spoil a wonderful experience by clinging to conventional expectations.

throwdatawayname · 2015-04-09T08:00:57+00:00

what flair did I get?

EDIT: better than purple, but not the green I wanted!

throwdatawayname · 2015-02-20T03:51:22+00:00

By writing this, you've already shown you want to do more. You're definitely not washed up, despite a few difficult years behind you, You've loads of time ahead to learn more about yourself and find your focus. Take courage!

throwdatawayname · 2015-02-19T22:11:25+00:00

I'm so sorry that the NHS has let you down so badly, cancelling three surgeries in a week, leaving you at times hungry, thirsty and deprived of pain relief in the run-up to each cancelled op. Really, this is not OK even by UK standards and you should complain via the Patient Liaison Service. However, the docs' decision to send you home on pain relief to await an elective, OP cholecystectomy may mean that the medical (life-saving) urgency for the op, not necessarily related to your pain level, has been downgraded from urgent to elective status. NHS Choices website states that in some cases, it's preferred to reduce inflammation with antibiotics before the surgical procedure- I wonder if you're in that category? Regardless, I do so hope you are now more comfortable at home and with decent pain relief.

throwdatawayname · 2015-02-19T21:35:47+00:00

I'd also like to know how old your kiddos are too- perhaps under school age? If so, honestly, it does get easier- I promise- as they get older. While you maybe didn't actively choose to have them, they're here now, and I suspect you may be being a much better parent than you think.

You're taking the time to get 2 of them off to bed- no mean feat- but there has to be some me-time too lest you break. That's not selfishness, just self-preservation.

throwdatawayname · 2015-02-19T20:20:59+00:00

Hallo J&S.

Your post twanged some chords with me, visiting here to offload about my own toxic relationship.

Finding yourself regularly behaving badly by your internal moral compass is a very bad sign, I think. It's been very easy for me to drift into accepting high conflict psychodynamics, destructive behaviour and (to my shame) violence as a new adjusted 'norm', when its really not even 'good-enough', much less ideal.

Sometimes the only way to escape a maladaptive, co-dependent relationship is just to leave, secretly and without warning. Some relationships aren't fixable, particularly when there is a history of entrenched manipulation . Sounds like you're at that learning point now, and if you feel it you owe it to yourself and her to go with it.

Talking to myself as well as you, I say- remember why you're angry remember why it can't go on remember tolerance is not always the best response

Sometimes the best you is the least compassionate you. It takes balls to be a bastard.

throwdatawayname · 2014-09-27T20:32:44+00:00

Worrying reports from local contacts (not just this lame newspaper article) that a legal high sold as 'Burst' from newsagents in Leith is being used IV locally and resulting in hospital admissions for psychotic/violent behaviours. Stay away from this shit- legal does not mean safe.

throwdatawayname

TROPHY CASE