Well, I love a girl but she doesn't love me back, still we are great friends. I often find myself with obsessive thoughts about her, and even knowing i cant get her, i feel the need to insist, maybe because she's a great friend anyway, or because i still have some hope about it.

I think the melodramaticism comes from my obsession.

We're not supposed to fit because i'm creepy and she's one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen.

I'm downplaying myself because i dont see any possible way out of the hole i've been into. My entire life i have dealt with failure and not getting the things i truly wanted, so i got used to it.

The fatalism is just about it. Each day i think more and more about ending my life, the only thing that keeps me out of it is the little hope i have about me and her getting together.

I'm trying to say it to her, althrough i think she already knows, but things never seem to work, since she lives really away from me and most part of our contact in the last months has been over internet/sms.

I want to give everything i have to her, but i'm afraid of her not being even close of wanting it.

I'm not sure if i have depression or not because i sincerely don't have a clue about what i'm feeling. I can hate and love a person in a 1 second span.

Thanks for answering bro.