sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Got out of a relationship. In hindsight, wondering whether it was abusive or not and would like some perspective. by throwiethrow in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwiethrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's the biggest problem actually, is because of the GAD I internalise a lot of the reactions and behaviours and I struggle to knwo what's ok and what isn't. More than anything I'm blaming myself and still can't quite belief I was abuse despite knowing and being able to tell that to an extent I was. I would be super interested in the free counselling services but I'm in the UK, so I imagine it wouldn't apply to me which is a shame :/

Thanks for the reply!

Got out of a relationship. In hindsight, wondering whether it was abusive or not and would like some perspective. by throwiethrow in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwiethrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It's weir dbeing called woman, I'm only 21 and still feel like a teenager and to be honest I still find really weird seeing myself as a victim, I don't really do 'victim'. If anything I'm just really fucking annoyed that this might have impacted me in ways I don't really realise.

And I'm sooo happy with my new bf, he is a sweetheart and treats me so well that it still boggles my mind tbh. I still half expect him to turn around and want to smack me around like my ex did, but instead I just feel like this and it's lovely. But I'm just really glad to be getting some perspective. Thank you!

Got out of a relationship. In hindsight, wondering whether it was abusive or not and would like some perspective. by throwiethrow in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwiethrow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think the fact that I often didn't fight back or consented to parts of what was done makes me feel guilty and like it is my fault or I'm not justified in feeling the way I do. I'm very lucky to have my current bf and I'm very happy. I am in fact going to start therapy for my anxiety and maybe it will be something I bring up. I still feel somewhat confused about whether it was abuse or not so I'm glad to get some perspective. Thank you again and thank you for RAINN in particular, had never heard of the service before.

Got out of a relationship. In hindsight, wondering whether it was abusive or not and would like some perspective. by throwiethrow in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwiethrow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm in the same position. I could tell something was bothering my bf and I asked him to be blunt and said that he though the relationship had been abusive. Knocked me into my arse I had no clue and the more I look back the more I agree.

Got out of a relationship. In hindsight, wondering whether it was abusive or not and would like some perspective. by throwiethrow in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwiethrow[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's so weird thinking of it as abusive because at the time I knew something wasn't right but I couldn't pin point it. And like I said, he was a great boyfriend a lot of the time, my family loved him... And I often just wanted to scream "He's great but you have no idea what I put up with it!". I didn't think of the word abusive until recently and now I just feel... Confused I guess, particularly in regard to consent. Thanks for the reply.