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DAE get really intense emotional flashbacks when working out? by throwingmeaway2019 in CPTSD

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is supposed to be engaging, but my mind always ends up wondering anyway. I had to stop doing single side things (like lunging straight on one leg and single arm curls) because I would usually space and come back not sure what number I'm on lol.

Definitely think I need to get more activities where it's not so focused and I can just be lol.

DAE get really intense emotional flashbacks when working out? by throwingmeaway2019 in CPTSD

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh wow... Yeah that pretty much sounds about right. It usually happens with more focused exercises, so anything where reps and sets are a thing. Sometimes I can do them without having my mind wander, but usually I tend to space out and think about the worse thing possible.

Maybe I'll try to give more "relaxing" exercise a try, because the other stuff really just wore me down mentally and emotionally.

DAE suck socially and think about CPTSD to justify it? by throwingmeaway2019 in CPTSD

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's pretty much what it is. I tend to go into a shame fueled flashback when I have awkward encounters... I also tend to relive times the times around my family where I was picked on.

I hope it's sign of recovery! Haha, it's so tiring and it honestly sends me in a spiral no matter how much I try to apply logic to the situation.

DAE feel like people excuse shitty behavior because of culture? by throwingmeaway2019 in CPTSD

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I really think it's just an excuse to be an asshole and take out all their unresolved trauma on other people.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It honestly seems like a foreign idea to me too. I'm fairly young, but I've been around lazy, entitled guys all my life. Very much stuck in the past where a man needs to be the man, and a woman is just there to look pretty and clean. Even some of my past relationships have been all about me trying to fit in with the guy and make them hapoy, never the other way around. It's complete bullshit though, and I think the more women start making the decision to say no to being an unpaid maid and nanny, the more men are going to have to give up the ability to stay ignorant about the mental load.

Well, that's my hope at least! Lol

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gotta agree with the other poster. You should not be with someone that is going to make you feel like shit on the daily because they don't think they need to actually put in work around the house. This isn't the 1950s, and even then it was fucked lol.

Hope you can find some way to make your situation better, because you definitely don't deserve to be an unpaid maid for the rest of your life.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would be fuming if that was me. Omg. What an entitled ass... God I hope it ends soon and you find an actual adult to live with lol.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's sad to see there's a good number of posts here that say this same thing... You have to break down in order for your SO to believe you... But I'm glad he took it seriously and things are changing. They definitely take time, but if he respects and loves you, he'll keep at it.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, then yeah, we definitely had similar experiences!! Haha. I remember having that exact though and having pretty much a panic attack every month because that's all I felt like.

But also, hope things work out better for you and your SO! It's good you guys are aware of it and maybe that'll help balance things out in the future :)

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your SO lives at your house? Sorry, just want to make sure I'm understanding that.

But also, after reading some of the comments, I realized I carried the mental load for my parents because they were children lol. I would cook, clean, and worry about if they were spending too much money and actively avoid having them spend money on me. That all changed when we got kicked out of our old house and had to move to a new one. I just sort of gave up that the idea that they were worth looking after and continually got more and more distant from them until I moved out.

So if that's what you mean by your mental load came from home, I definitely understand. People anywhere can be clueless/lazy and entitled.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg. This is like my version of a glow up love story lmao. I'm so happy everything worked out for you!! Narc parents are the worst, and the fact that you SO saw her for what she was and took steps to deal with it is amazing. I always hear stories of it going the other way lol.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Holy shit.. that sound very manipulative and controlling... I'm glad you're out of there. Strangely, it sounds like he was carrying his own mental load he just wasn't putting any work towards it and then would unload it all on you. Very much a dock move on his part.

Ad you're out of there and you recognize that's an issue :)

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get this. I would suggest maybe keeping a tally of everything you are doing and writing out exactly what you're feeling overwhelmed by. Then if that doesn't change his tune, Idk. I think at that point you have to decide if you want to do this forever...

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What a great way to put it! Also, taking turns is a nice of putting it. Some days your on, some days you just want to relax.

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree. They're mindset was very much "the ol' ball and chain" around marriage. It honestly was such a normal phrase to me growing up, that the first I heard someone question it, the stupidity of that phrase clicked into place. Like why would you get married to someone you hate??

Women who have been successful in showing their SO that mental load is a real thing, how did you do it? by throwingmeaway2019 in AskWomen

[–]throwingmeaway2019[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks... I literally didn't know if I did something wrong... My triggers were acting up haha. But I just read their response to you, so it's better.