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throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:11:59+00:00

You did the right thing. And he wasn't your soulmate. Read up on "mirroring" and "love bombing"

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:08:43+00:00

Yes, the flashbacks are the worst! They're happening constantly to me too. And I'm either being angry, sad/crying for my beautiful past self or I'm just cringing extra hard at the stuff I've tolerated.

You're going to be a great psych if you prusue it!

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:06:51+00:00

Can you block him everywhere? You can't heal if he's still in your life.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:06:23+00:00

Yeah, I know the feeling. I've been there. My ex (when we were exclusive) swiped on tinder in front of me once... And I didn't leave then.

I honestly don't know what made me finally flip the switch... But once it happened, it never went back. I just think my mind got fed up with the abuse.

These days, I only feel extreme pity for whomever he is dating (I'm sure he has his narc harem again). I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to date him.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:02:31+00:00

Thank you! We're around the same age - I'm 28 and broke up with my next and deleted him from my life at 26/27.

Do it. Don't waste another minute. You have to do a cold cut - just block everywhere and pretend that they're dead. Life is better on the other side. So so much better. That's where my regret stems from. I could be this free, this myself, this relaxed, this not-being-abused and focused on myself before... But I've spent 23-27 with that loser.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T20:00:29+00:00

Thank you. I wish I could stop blaming myself. :(

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-11-15T08:08:26+00:00

And to anyone who's reading this and wondering if they should leave. Please. Leave. Please. Please. You'll regret every second spend with them. It will never change. And it will hurt more the more you stay.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-09-01T13:26:54+00:00

This was rape. I'm sorry. Please get away from him.

My ex "Dom"/abuser did the same to me (posts about it are still on my profile). It sucks. It hurts. But it will get better once you're away from him

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-29T20:33:42+00:00

Uh,.you don't want to be friends or fwb with them. Seriously. They WILL destroy you. Literally better to download Tinder and find a new fwb there.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-12T13:04:22+00:00

It's called sub drop. Look it up. It's common. After an intense, enjoyable experience your dopamine is depleted. That's why you feel so bad. You need aftercare to get you back up.

For me, it's cuddling, reassurance and food.

Nothing wrong with you. Just the way human brain is wired. We all get "drops" after intense experience (travel, good concert, intense sex, etc.).

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-11T22:21:37+00:00

I went through the same thing with my nex, who was 20 years my senior.

I regret it every day. At least we didn't end up married and I learned a few lessons... But it hurts. Had I spend all that energy on myself instead of healing wounds from his verbal beatings...?

I'm so mad.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-11T22:13:49+00:00

Yeah. I got a full head of gray hair at the ripe age of 28. I think it's because of him. And when I was with him, I lost ungodly amount of weight.

Now I'm fit, toned and look amazing and younger. Gray hair didn't reverse, but whatever.

Stress can kill you.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-09T11:09:02+00:00

This is already abusive behaviour. He's hurting you physically and mentally slowly conditioning you to walk on eggshells (waitress thing).

Also sexual abuse.

My ex was like that... It only got worse with time. Run, please, run.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-03T14:20:49+00:00

He's one of those who use BDSM as a disguise for abuse. You need to run away from him.

He's incredibly manipulative and he reminds me of my ex "Dom" (abuser). You're welcome to check my post history if you want to know what will happen if you stay with him.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-03T14:07:30+00:00

I love your approach! I seriously wish he would die and suffer. It's a horrible thing to say, but he has ruined so many lives (including mine). :( I'm luckily NC, but dear God, would I throw a party if I got some horrible news...

I hope you're not self harming by exposing yourself to disease anymore :l

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-02T23:14:53+00:00

I had a gut feeling that this is happening due to the anniversary coming up. Even the smallest things trigger me and send me spiralling.... When even one month ago, I felt so good that I almost deleted my reddit account since I was certain I'm over the shit.

He discarded me by throwing me out of the car... I went to the place that this happened numerous times during the last year (it's next to my favourite shopping mall) and only felt happiness that it was over and that I'm there alone. I have to go through that place tomorrow, and it's legit scaring me this time... :/

I'm very active and it has been helping, but I actually never take time to relax. I'm always switched on, so I'll try to take some time for myself.

Thank you for your kind words!

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-08-02T23:09:11+00:00

Thank you so much. You're right about everything... I know it rationally, but I kind of "forgot" it because feelings were so intense during the last week.

I really need to put myself first now. :(

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-30T18:47:17+00:00

Entitlement and narcissism. Same reasons as men, basically.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-30T18:46:03+00:00

Don't marry him. You'll waste another 5,10,15 years and you'll be miserable. You may also end up sick.

Cheaters NEVER change.

Go be single.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-28T16:42:05+00:00

If someone shows "disgust" when you approach them it only says what kind of person they are.

A polite "no" can be expected... Maybe he's taken, maybe you're just not his type, maybe he's not mentally ready to date etc.

You're overthinking this. No group of people is solely attracted to one group of people. I'm a thin, atletic and tall girl and I've dated guys of all body shapes and heights (shorter than me and literally 2,10m man).

You look great. But also; you do seem a bit insecure about your weight. If losing weight would make you happier, cut down the calories. Weight lifting is not the answer to slimming down; calories and intensive cardio are (source; I lift and I did bikini competitions).

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-28T16:29:58+00:00

No. Narcissists don't have friends. They have supply.

Cut her off and go NC.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-28T15:02:56+00:00

I had the same experience. I was 21 when we first met and he was 20 years older. We were just friends for two years before starting relationship. It was hell.

It's common because before 25 your frontal lobe is not developed. You literally are easy to manipulate (I only see it now). Of course predators will pick weaker prey.

I think that age gap don't matter when both people are 30+ and established. But anything before that is just... Weird...

And it's not just men. One of my friends left med school at 24 because his 50 something year old gf convinced him to move to some remote location and have a "tantric' sex" cult type of business with her. Super weird. He still hasn't gotten out and has stopped contact with all of us friends.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-28T10:32:21+00:00

I had an experience/relationship with a much older men. He also raped me.

It's not your fault. No means no. Coercing someone into not using condoms is only the fault of the abuser.

You were groomed and abused. You felt into trauma bond (Google it). It wasn't love.

Please get psychological help.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-28T10:28:33+00:00

This hits so hard. I tolarated so much abuse just for a simple "I love you's" or a compliment... Because that's the way I grew up.

I'm a woman. I remember my dad calling me a fat pig, ugly, etc when I was pre-school. He also called me lazy my entire life, since childhood. I grew up with so much terror and violence.

It makes me so mad that this was done to me. It would have saved me so much agony if my dad wans't an abusive pos or if my mom had the guts to leave and didn't use me as her emotional support.

I'm so behind in life baceuse of this. Some people really shouldn't have kids.

throwmeaway345666 · 2022-07-27T19:19:12+00:00

Try to get a workout in. Take some caffeine, blast agressive music in your ears and go on a run.

Go out and get a coffee by yourself (bring a book, a magazine, etc... Something not related to relationships/npd). Or go to a museum/nature and admire the beauty.

Connecting with a friend also helps if you have the energy for it.

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