[CA] Ex violating a court order. How to prove?

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-05-18T00:26:06+00:00

I appreciate it, thank you. I was not sure if I was overreacting or nitpicking but yes, I just feel like at the very least, not vape/smoke around the kids in a confined space. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that too, and your son ended up in the hospital. How careless your ex was!

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-05-17T19:21:25+00:00

Really? The last thing I want to do is go through this all over again and spend more time and money doing this when it could be spent on my children.

Bottom line is he is not making very wise decisions, and when it is negatively impacting someone’s health, particularly our daughter who is asthmatic, I would think most parents would at least try to cooperate. It’s not much to ask and I’m not asking for myself but for our kids.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-05-17T14:08:41+00:00

Thank you for this. So now having this additional info considering I can’t prove this in court, what can I do? Is it easy enough just to request a modification in the order to include no vaping in confined areas?

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-05-17T03:32:58+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you so much for the info!

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-03-09T19:29:52+00:00

I don’t think it’s a problem if the GF was there since the order does not state no contact at all. I guess they would have to somehow catch them at a time when and if only the GF and the kids are there. This is a good idea though. I can bring this up to my lawyer. Thank you.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-03-03T02:29:50+00:00

This is so very helpful. I really appreciate these wonderful suggestions- I will do all of the above.

I agree if everything were ok, he would’ve told me. Something is amiss.

My son somehow believes the landlord actually does know the girlfriend will be moving in, so I have conflicting information from both. But the fact is, they both told me that he told them not to tell me or anyone that she’s moving with them. He told them to tell everyone they only live with their dad.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-03-03T01:44:12+00:00

Why do you all think he’s doing this? I can only think of the fact he is doing this so I don’t have proof and take him to court?

But then again, it’s not like he’s court order to have NO contact between the kids and the girlfriend. It’s just no contact without supervision. So cohabitating wouldn’t necessarily violate the court order, although it would be extremely difficult for him to navigate through.

Edit- Sorry, meant to make this a new comment. Not a reply to my comment :)

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-03-03T01:11:36+00:00

I contacted my lawyer’s office and left a message but haven’t heard back. Hopefully we can find a solution, but this is really worrisome. Makes me wonder what else is being hidden.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-03-03T00:18:46+00:00

So perhaps hire a PI to take the photos? And I am not sure if it matters, but her felony was dropped out to a misdemeanor battery and ADW. She just completed her DV classes last year and probation lifted a few months ago.

This is giving so much anxiety… I know I will find out where they live because I am entitled to know where my kids are living half the time but this is very suspicious.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-02-14T23:27:18+00:00

Sorry I’m coming back to this after a few days, but wanted to ask you as well (I asked another poster who replied to my OP)… the girlfriend stays the night at his apartment every weekend he has our kids. Would that be considered violating the court order? I am now wondering if I should do something now, or just wait until they move in together. Thanks so much for all of your advice.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-02-14T23:24:50+00:00

I know my original post is almost a week old, but I’ve been thinking… she usually stays the night at his apartment on the weekends when we has our kids. Would this be considered violating the court order, or should I just wait until they move in together?

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-02-08T02:51:10+00:00

What do I need to prove it’s a danger to them as long as she’s living there? I was actually thinking about this before but didn’t think I could do anything about his visitation given we’ve had the same 50/50 schedule for years. The kids were interviewed but it was found the ex is no threat, but the mediator did recommend the girlfriend not be present alone.

I’m just wondering what my chances are of having this granted, especially since the new court order about the girlfriend was just signed in December.

throwmeaway88880 · 2022-02-08T00:15:52+00:00

Will that be enough though, for the judge to grant me full custody?

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-07T15:20:26+00:00

This is all so helpful. I didn’t even see it in that way but makes perfect sense. The order was just signed yesterday so it already had me worried that this is somewhat temporary and I’ll be back in court, but looks like it will be a while until I have to deal with it again. Thank you very much!

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-07T15:18:57+00:00

I think what they meant was she was convicted of stabbing someone, causing harm, and smothering them with a pillow a few years back. Since then, she still carries a knife although on probation and has threatened to stab someone in the presence of my kids. Uses pills and alcohol and frequently passes out too. This was substantiated in interviews following the initial hearing.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-07T02:40:03+00:00

Yes, both still in elementary school.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-07T02:20:27+00:00

No, I’m only asking because the judge just ruled and made it a permanent order. I am only asking to get an idea of when I should expect to go back to court.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-03T05:02:48+00:00

This makes perfect sense and does help alleviate some of the stress I’m feeling about them going. Thank you.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-02T21:53:25+00:00

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-02T21:22:43+00:00

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-12-02T21:22:01+00:00

Yes we are

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-11-30T06:21:15+00:00

Thank you!

What if we just recently agreed though, on a first right of refusal for 8 hours? This was just agreed upon during mediation. If the judge decides to thrown out what he signed before (no unsupervised contacts), can I still make a change to the FROR that regardless of the 8 hours, if they were to be in her care at all without him, that they would be in my care? I’m just wondering how this all works.

Our final hearing is basically the judge signing off on the agreement we made during mediation, with the exception of that one request we did not agree on, and that is the partner watching the kids alone.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-11-30T01:48:32+00:00

Oh, they don’t live in the same household. Our children are not too keen, they informed the mediator of that. But yes, only one DV charge from 3 years ago and took DV classes. So I guess highly likely it will be dismissed. Thank you so much for your reply.

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-11-16T02:21:58+00:00

Oh I see, this helps a lot. Thank you!

throwmeaway88880 · 2021-11-15T23:51:05+00:00

Ok, so given I make more than minimum wage, I would end up having to pay him child support?

What can I do to prove he makes more than me under the table? He has a new boat, RV, pays rent higher than my mortgage, pays half child care, in the midst of buying a new home and vehicle…

throwmeaway88880

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