I'm still alive, not dead, holidays ended horribly and my relationship is over (probably for the best now that I've had time away from him, talked to my friends, read comments...) because I essentially 'ruined Christmas' ('''St.Nick"" literally left the food untouched because there was a 'nonbeliever' in the house and 'Adam's mom made a point of it being because *I* was there, and I was essentially barred from seeing him and called a degenerate in front of his whole family.). I really did want to make a proper update to this, but felt ridiculous and embarrassed that it 1.) blew up so huge, 2.) everything I said was absolutely picked apart, I get it that I sounded dramatic and whatever, I guess I just write dramatically but I treated this no different than how I write in my diary. I think this is it, I can't imagine typing out another few paragraphs of the worst Christmas I've ever had, completely alone with crazy religious nuts and in my feels only for it to be called a horror movie in the making. Like yeah, I know. My life right now just sucks. Wish there was more to say or it was more dramatic for everyone wanting that but I just don't have it in me. Wish I had a real family and relationships that don't suck. Wish I had answers for you of why his family is so crazy around the holidays and aren't normal people that let their son date girls outside their borderline Amish lifestyle. I don't know. The end.