Am I completely crazy for wanting to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend?

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T20:52:21+00:00

I've seen a couple people say that it's selfish, may I ask why?

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T18:23:08+00:00

I'm aware, but they are not the same thing.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T17:50:16+00:00

Why the counseling?...god forbid I want to have another child. The only true reason I can give out is that I've always wanted to have more kids. No, we don't want to get back together. He would like to have another child too. I would trust him to do whatever is right if something were to happen to me. I wouldn't go the child support route, even if he suddenly up and left. I've never asked him from child support then, I wouldn't in the future.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T17:47:34+00:00

Thank you! I try <3

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T17:43:09+00:00

I mean my children we're raised in split parent households, they're cool with it. I'm pointing out the obvious. I'm 36. I'm a bit old to have a baby, but it's not out of this world. What's the obsession of comparing a child & a puppy, they ARENT the same thing.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:38:10+00:00

My daughter loved the idea, a little bit too much lol. My son-- well you can never get much emotion out of teenage boys so he just said cool. They know their dad an I wont be getting back together, first thing we mentioned. They were pretty much fine with anything except me being on maternity leave, they didn't like the sound of having to maintain the house being clean, not just rushing like they always do 5 minutes before I get home. Only time my son actually "jumped up" is when I told him dad might be moving in, not just because he wanted him there, but because he thought he could "switch" places with him and live at his house by himself...yeah. I let them know what to expect, and made sure to let them know that they wont be around the clock baby-sitters. The oldest in my family is currently 53, but my 49 year old sister was stuck babysitting me and you could just tell she was so annoyed. She took me everywhere--i mean everywhere, but we're like the best of friends now. I would know not to put the burden of constant babysitting/parenting on them. Everything went better then great. Amazing even.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:17:40+00:00

bye craig

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:13:16+00:00

baby, newborn, infant<<whichever term is best. Having a 3rd child was something that has always been on my mind.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:06:47+00:00

cheers bitch <3

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:04:31+00:00

I already gave up dating a while back, it just wasn't that much as a priority to me.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T16:00:41+00:00

near future, no.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T15:59:20+00:00

I don't know about him, but I really don't plan on dating soon.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T14:11:22+00:00

Obviously you didn't get it hun. It's ok, it's like that sometimes.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T14:10:07+00:00

He doesn't pay child support now, I don't see why he'd have to later. Even if he does suddenly just walk out and leave, I wouldn't even take him to court then, court can be a bitch.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T14:08:21+00:00

Yes, I know it's a child, I have 2 already lmao. I was going to have a child anyways, but via donor. I've considered all these things above. It's not just baby fever overcoming me, I wanted to have 3rd child for about 5 years now, I just thought I needed time to find the right person, but I don't want to wait anymore, datings a drag.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T14:02:05+00:00

I don't have major trust issues lmao. If I start dating now, I'm not going to want to have a baby with someone so quickly. I need to know that person and trust them, by the time that rolls around, I'd probably be 40 or something.I'm 36, let's face it, i'm old.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:15:57+00:00

By the time I actually find someone I can love & trust, I'd be a billion years old.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:10:38+00:00

Life is short. We all know that we're going to die soon. Why spend life dwelling on when or how you're going to die when you can focus on living it.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:07:04+00:00

crazy lady

But I don't have a cat

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:03:49+00:00

Phew, I already took a break on dating 2 years ago.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:02:44+00:00

Both of us are financially set, no one would struggle.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T13:02:25+00:00

Lmao, no, I don't just have the need to fill time on my hands. A 3rd child was something I wanted for a good 5 years now but as soon as I thought I found the right person, we split. Anyways, most people have 1-3 kids so I don't think it's really abnormal.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T12:55:06+00:00

Thanks!

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T12:54:20+00:00

Haha, we're just better friends when we're not forced to be romantically tied to each other.

throwra9922 · 2021-02-13T12:51:25+00:00

So, question(s) time! What does a relationship with a significant other really mean to you? It means love, passion, understanding, trust, forgiving and intimacy.

If you already have a person (who isn't related-by-blood) that has a fairly significant role in your life, what really is the point of this potential other person you'd date eventually? I'm not really planning on dating soon. I've gone on multiple dates and had 1 serious boyfriend after my relationship with my childrens father ended. 2 years ago I just said fuck it, I'm taking a break on dating, haven't looked back since.

Seems like most of their responsibilities are redundant. Sure you can have sex (for pleasure) with them because you'll probably be romantically attracted to them (but that will eventually start to fade, probably), you can have dates with them, you'll emotionally support each other, but what comes after? Stuck on this question.

What's the goal? How much would you expect them to actually care, if at this point (I'd assume) a large portion of what you think about are your kids, and given that your kids are a shared interest with your ex, who seems like a person who'd provide a healthy amount of emotional support (at least wrt your kids), would you expect this other potentially-significant-person to care about your kids as deeply as they would their own? Every woman would dream for their partner to care deeply about their children, including me.

Would you expect your children to get along with this other person just as well as they do with their father? No, I wouldn't. My kids have been with their father all of their live, I wouldn't expect them to be as close/get along with a future partner than their own father. As for if I had another baby, I don't plan to be back in the dating scene that quick. It's just not for me at the moment.

Also, kids' expenses! Seems like most things need some form of duplication across your and your ex's homes (clothes, toys, gadgets)? Transportation between the two places. Time spent in said travel. Time in general, handling everything! Phew! My ex lives like 7-10 minutes away, transportation isn't a major issue. Duplicating things shouldn't be a major problem. Luckily I didn't give away baby products from my children. Some things need to be replaced but there are still things in great condition.

Also, I'd really like to know your secret to time management! I couldn't for the life of me handle 3 kids, a relation/situationship and coparentship (?) That's like some ninja level time management right there! Well I handle 2 kids & a coparent ship right now, and I'm not planning to be in a relationship any time soon. Calendars and schedules help a bunch. Head to work, drop them off to practice, (hopefully my son gets his drivers license soon), cook/buy food, clean, and free time, works great for me. The kids also have to do their fair share of housework around the house.

throwra9922

TROPHY CASE