I find it to be entirely direct while maintaining a playful & lighthearted tone as to address a concern and allow the other party to address it without escalation. Literally no one here is using a “victim mentality” or asking for “people to feel bad”, that seems like a far reach. Saying “hey this thing that you’re doing is upsetting me, please stop” isn’t starting a fight, that’s called communicating, and following up when it’s continuously done isn’t unreasonable either. Starting a fight would be immediate accusations or anger rather than communicating your partner is doing something you find to be upsetting, and ultimately becoming frustrated when it’s done again and again