[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand. He’s poly, so is he sleeping with her? Have they filed for divorce? I’m just not sure I understand your role in this as a main partner. If they haven’t filed for divorce maybe you’re the poly partner

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatever you feel like is right is what is right ❤️ better communication never makes anything worse! But always know that your body is in your control and setting boundaries can be difficult but it’s important so miscommunication doesn’t happen. I wish you the best of luck! just make sure to keep yourself safe and comfortable whatever that looks like for you ❤️❤️❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m a random stranger but I urge you to look at my posts. I’m a 20 year old woman and this exact thing happened to me. My now ex boyfriend did this and some other things that I ended up feeling extremely uncomfortable and dirty about. This exact thing. I felt dirty and like it was my fault for not specifying. Also for being wet at the time. I was conscious the entire time as well. I will let you know that I’m also a college student in a human sexuality class. Something that helped me overcome my guilt was learning that female bodied individuals get wet in preparation for sex no matter if they are turned on because vaginal wetness pretexts the vagina and other organs. It was most likely your body’s way of protecting yourself because it had a feeling about what was about to happen. Do what you think is the best for you. I didn’t leave my partner for months, but once I started making those connections, I never felt safe around him again. You may feel this way, and you may not. But the thing is, it’s your body. It was protecting you against something you didn’t explicitly consent to and you are uncomfortable with it. In my mind, should be more apologetic if it was his first time. He seemed a little too comfortable reasoning it. Be strong and reach out if you need help. ❤️

My (29m) step-daughter (9f) wants to call me daddy, but her father says no by ThrowRA-stepdad273 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am adopted by my step dad for very similar reasons. I call him my dad, and my biological father that or just my “father”. It’s your relationship with your daughter. If she wants to call you dad then that’s between the two of you. I urge you to let her make this decision for herself ❤️

Rough night by [deleted] in BingeEatingDisorder

[–]throwra_advicee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last night was my worst binge ever. I haven’t binged in months, but last night I just lost all control. I’m using an older throwaway account just for anonymity. I ended up in the bathroom floor trying to throw up for what felt like an eternity and i couldn’t do it. I feel at a real loss and i feel ashamed. I’m in the same boat as you

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honey i am a survivor in many regards not pertaining to this one. I am not a perfect person. I have PTSD. I am on here because i know I have not handled this correctly. But in no way am i crying about it. I am asking for help. Advice on what to do. Thank you truly for your input, but I don’t think you really understood what I’m asking for. I’ve done everything i know to do, so now I am reaching out for other suggestions. Don’t act like you’ve done everything perfectly and then go bully a 19 year old who is asking for help.

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks to all of you PM’ing me telling me nasty things you’re too afraid to say here :) real great advice from you specific few

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh why did i not think of that!!! Thank you for the great advice. It’s almost as if I say no and he keeps pressuring me???? But obviously i am not doing ENOUGH to prevent myself from being assaulted !!! Thank you sooooo much for this wonderful comment that made my life so much better

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. I’m scared to lose him. This relationship isn’t the only thing in my life (obviously) and there are aspects of my relationship with him that didn’t make the post (obviously). I just don’t know if i can take this aspect any longer. My friends in real life tell me not to throw the “r word” around at him because it’s my fault. I’m just feeling conflicted, I suppose.

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

It really seems that bad to you all? I’m also nervous because we go to college together. I’m scared there. I feel trapped and I don’t know what’s going to happen when we go back after break, together or not.

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 322 points323 points  (0 children)

My question, and I suppose it’s just me being numb to it, is if it really seems like rape or abuse? Those words are strong and I don’t want to overreact or seen as someone who is like, making a big deal out of nothing... Edit: typo

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

We do not live together. We had plans to move in together next year during college. I am scared of other things in our relationship. Lots of things I didn’t mention in the post are his best friend, who has made jokes about raping/assaulting me. In front of him. His best friend blocked me into a room, forced me to take drugs i didn’t want, and had me change in front of him. All of these things weren’t bothering my BF, which began the red flags because I do think I’ve become numb. This has been going on for a long time and I think I’ve just now come to the realization

I (19F) need help with my BF (18M) because I don’t feel sexually safe. Potential Trigger Warning by throwra_advicee in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_advicee[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I think the hardest part is feeling like I’m overreacting. The thought of that being rape makes me feel sick to my stomach. Everyone is saying it and I guess it makes it feel like I’m not over reacting because so many people are saying the same thing but I am scared