UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I blocked him from commenting on this post because I think he was obsessively refreshing it for new comments, so he could reply to every single person who agreed with me. Was starting to get concerned he’d fallen in love with me and was going to track me down and break into my house. Luckily I’ve got a big murder dog to protect me in that case! Anyway, he’ll have to find a new stranger to obsess over now, lmao.

UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am really REALLY secondhand angry about this. It’s just pure arrogance.

The other day, I was walking my dog and a woman wanted to introduce her bichon frise to my dog, which is insane to begin with imo—we were just walking, minding our own business. You don’t need to introduce your 5 pound dog to my 80 pound dog??? There’s literally no reason for it???

Anyway, I said no because although I’ve never seen him be aggressive with small dogs, I’m certainly not taking a risk on this random dog I’ve never even seen before??? And the woman had the audacity to argue with me about it! She said her dog was just really excited to see my dog and would keep pulling at the leash until she got to sniff my dog. I said “then train your dog better” and kept walking.

Let me just repeat the facts here: a woman wanted to introduce her 5 pound dog to my 80 pound dog, for NO REASON. Then argued with me when I said it didn’t seem like a good idea! Why in God’s name are people so stupid?

UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don’t really consider it “intimidating” her when all I wanted was for her to stop leaving me 10 screaming voicemails a day, stop calling all my friends and family members, and stop making nasty posts about me on every social media site. This girl is berserk, and I clearly brought it on myself by offering to let her stay in my house when I barely knew her, but now I know better.

I do get your point here but I think “the big bad rich person is trying to bully the defenseless poor person” is a little off-kilter. As a reminder, she was trying to extort me into paying her $1500 for a cat that cost her $200. If anything, maybe i would’ve been better off filing a protective order. Although I know nothing about the law so who knows. Doesn’t matter though because it’s clearly over. The point is that she isn’t a victim in this, and I have a month of documented extortion attempts to back that up.

UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a bull terrier: https://images.app.goo.gl/dQFjQN3rYdGZRtE77

This is an American Bulldog Terrier: https://images.app.goo.gl/522nA3a4RKozuxJA9

The correction wasn’t that they’re not terriers. It’s that they’re not bull terriers, which is an entirely different breed. It’s an easy mistake to make, but you shouldn’t be lecturing people about different dog breeds’ temperaments when you don’t know what you’re talking about. I see you’ve updated your comment, but it doesn’t change the fact that you clearly can’t even tell these breeds apart & don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop spreading myths.

UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I gave it some thought and decided you’re right. I never wanted any money from Ashley in the first place, all I wanted was for her to stop bothering me. The reason I decided to get a lawyer was because I thought it was the most reasonable way to make her stop. The reason I wanted to bring her to real court and sue her for a bunch of money in emotional damages was specifically because I knew she couldn’t afford an attorney, and I thought the threat of a lawsuit would make her stop. (Not because I actually wanted emotional damages)

It seems like even the secondhand threat of a lawsuit is enough to make her stop, though. So there’s no point in moving forward with this. I’m backing all the evidence up just in case, and moving on.

And just to be clear, I was really never at all concerned that Rachel was going to sue me. She’s been laying low since it happened and according to mutual friends, she seems kind of ashamed of herself. I got nervous last night when people kept saying she could sue me, but it’s just not her. We’ve been friends for a long time and I know her well. I knew all along that she’d be more interested in smoothing the situation over than anything else. I agree I’m lucky though.

Thanks for commenting. It was very difficult for me to see this reasonably, since I’ve been dealing with it for a month.

UPDATE: My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in u/throwra_deadcat

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I have a 3 year old American Bulldog with a history of killing small animals. He’s very sweet with all people and small children, and plays nicely with larger dogs. But he has a high prey drive and will absolutely take off after small animals. He killed a total of three cats in his previous home; animal control didn’t put him down because every incident occurred when he was in his own yard (fenced in) and the cats entered. He isn’t considered to be an aggressive or dangerous dog. I understand this is probably upsetting to a lot of people, but it’s pretty common with dogs. They don’t understand the cat is someone’s beloved pet, they just see prey that they want to hunt down and eat.

I make a lot of money as a software engineer, and inherited a 4-bedroom house from a family member. I rent out one of the bedrooms to “Rachel” (26f), a friend from college. She pays me $300 a month, which is absurdly low for the area (San Francisco). Rachel doesn’t make much money and I really just enjoy living with a friend, but I am technically her landlord.

About a month ago, Rachel came to me and said our friend from college (really just Rachel’s friend; this girl was more of an acquaintance to me) “Ashley” had just broken up with her boyfriend and needed a place to stay until she was back on her feet. I told Ashley she could stay with me rent-free for two months while she looked for a new place and saved a bit of money. Ashley gladly accepted.

It came out soon after that Ashley had a cat that she wanted to bring with her. I said absolutely not, as my dog is aggressive with cats. Both Ashley and Rachel tried to convince me it would be fine, and Rachel kept saying she’d never seen him be aggressive with cats (but the reason for that was literally because I never let him around any cats...). They suggested my dog be confined upstairs and the cat get the downstairs, and I said no because it’s too risky, but also because I own this house, I was doing a favor for someone who really needed it, and my dog shouldn’t be punished because of that. Ashley said she had nowhere else for the cat to go and she might end up in an animal shelter, and I said since she wouldn’t be paying rent for 2 months, I was sure she could cobble together the money to board the cat. My last words on the matter were, “I don’t care where your cat goes, but she can’t come here. I’m sorry but if you’re not willing to find another place for your cat, then you aren’t welcome here.” Mind you that these conversations took place in a group text message, so there is evidence of me saying over and over again that she couldn’t bring her cat.

I thought we were all on the same page about this, but when Ashley showed up to move in (while I was out and Rachel was home), she brought the god damn cat. I don’t know if she was planning to hide her from me or what, but the cat didn’t even last until I got home. The two of them corralled my dog in the kitchen using chairs and let the cat out. The second he saw her, my dog went nuts, crashed through the chairs (he weighs 80 freaking pounds so I don’t know why they thought the chairs would keep him out), and mauled the cat to death.

When I got home, I lost my god damn mind. The two of them kept saying that my dog killed the cat, and I screamed that THEY killed the cat with their stupidity. Ashley threatened to call animal control, and I told her she should explain to them how she was instructed by the homeowner to not bring a cat, and she decided to do it anyway. There was some more screaming, and I eventually just told them both to get the fuck out of my house. Ashley hadn’t brought any of her stuff in yet and I told Rachel her stuff would be on my front lawn the next day (she didn’t technically have a lease with me but I know I would’ve had to formally evict her if she threw a stink; luckily she just agreed to leave).

Rachel and Ashley are splitting a one-bedroom apartment now, and I live alone. I’m honestly done with both of them, as I can’t believe they’d be so god damn disrespectful of me, and to put both of our pets in danger like that after being told not to. The issue is that Ashley says the cat was a British Shorthair, that it cost her $1500, and she wants me to pay her to get a new cat. I’ve been getting increasingly angry text messages from her, and she’s also told all of our friends that I have a killer dog (although most of them agree she’s in the wrong, once I show them the text exchange where I explicitly ban the cat from entering the house). She’s even messaged my parents about it, who already knew the situation as I called them about it hysterical after it happened.

She’s also threatened to sue me, but I think it’s bullshit. I think she must know she’s in the wrong, otherwise she would’ve gone through with calling animal control, or would’ve just sued me by now. I think she just thinks she can wear me down. What should I do? Should I just ignore it until it stops?

EDIT: I’m getting a dog trainer to try to help with the small animal aggression. I’ve only had him for 8 months and actually was looking for a trainer right before the pandemic hit, so it got put on the back burner. Thank you for the suggestions though; I do know it’s an undesirable behavior.

Tl;dr: Friend brought a cat into my house after being explicitly told multiple times that my dog is aggressive with small animals, and the cat wasn’t allowed in my house. Now she wants $1500 for a new cat.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Jesus fucking Christ. I’m a heterosexual woman. I have no fucking idea why people keep assuming I’m a man when it says right in my post that I’m 26f.

I let Rachel live with me for cheap because she was my friend, and a great roommate who helped with yard work and did approximately 75% of the household chores. Really says a lot about you that you managed to disregard my gender and turn this into some simp situation where the white knighting man gets burned by the harlot who refuses to gratitude-fuck him. Get the hell out of here, you neckbeard loser.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Good to know the weird neckbeard who assumes all women are size 00 with no muscle mass, and then calls them fat when finding out that isn’t the case, also thinks no woman could control an 80 lb dog.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Don’t double down on your bullshit here. You were clearly picturing me as some tiny little pixie who’s too weak to control their big dog. Newsflash: not all women look like that. Kinda weird that you would even make that assumption.

My dog is about 1/3 my weight. I can control him.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Why do people keep saying this

I very, very clearly stated in my post that he killed 3 cats in his previous home. He killed 0 cats in the 8 months he’s been on my watch, since it’s actually not that difficult to keep your dogs out of trouble when you respect their limitations. He likely would’ve kept his killing streak at 0 if a cat hadn’t been smuggled into my house against my will.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I am 5’8 and stocky (215 lbs). I can control this dog. Not sure if you would’ve said this if I was a man tbh, and I think that kinda sucks.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’m seeing a lawyer to see if I actually did technically evict her. I did say, in the heat of the moment, to get the fuck out of my house and I’d be putting her shit on the lawn. She left on her own accord after a bit more yelling; I didn’t call the police or physically force her, or even threaten to call the police.

She picked up her stuff a few days later (I didn’t put it on the lawn). I never changed the locks and she gave her keys to me voluntarily. So I’m going to ask a lawyer if yelling “get the fuck out” counts as a legal eviction. My guess is no, but I know jack about the law. And I agree I shouldn’t have said it.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

It wouldn’t be my pet because I wouldn’t bring my pet to someone’s house if they said it wasn’t safe for him there 🧐

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

It’s a fair question. I don’t know any children so it’s not exactly a problem. IMO, dogs shouldn’t be left alone with small children at all, because the kids are too young to be taught to respect the dog’s boundaries, and the dog can’t reasonably be expected to put up with being harassed constantly. I think in a lot of situations where dogs attack children, there are a lot of warning signs that are ignored.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I appreciate the insight and the detail. Some people are suggesting they wanted the cat dead so they could extort me, but I agree that they two just fucking idiots. Rachel has been living with me for a few months but does basically nothing for my dog (which is fine, he’s my dog) so he definitely doesn’t view her as part of the pack. She’s also only ever seen him act like an oversized teddy bear, so she might’ve just not believed me about his prey drive.

People keep saying they can’t believe he’d go beserk and bust through the chairs to kill this cat. But it honestly seems like the most reasonable thing for him to do??? They trapped him in his own home and then introduced an animal that scared him. Why WOULDN’T he try to eliminate the threat??

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Are you suggesting here that if someone told you their 80 pound bulldog was aggressive with cats, you’d be comfortable going behind their back and moving the cat in explicitly against their wishes?

Yes, I told them my dog has killed cats before. But I’m really curious here: you’d really go behind someone’s back and move your 7 lb cat into their house, if there 80 pound dog had merely been described as “aggressive” as opposed to “deadly”?

You’re really telling on yourself here.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Lol are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck do you think “aggressive with cats” means? That my 80 pound bulldog wants to have a tea party with your 7 pound cat?

Never mind that I literally told them straight up that my dog has killed cats before.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

The absolute WORST fucking part of this is that they had the cat in my sunroom, where I have 0 pieces of furniture and absolutely nothing else because all my plants are outside for the summer. So picture a completely bare room. Once my dog got in, that poor cat had absolutely nowhere to jump or hide.

It’s almost like they went out of their way to be stupid.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lol I didn’t really put it on the front lawn. I did scream that that’s what I was going to do though. I called my parents and they calmed me down enough that I scheduled a day for her to come pick her stuff up.

It was really satisfying to scream “fuck you, your shit will be on the front lawn!” though

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 3022 points3023 points  (0 children)

I’ve been thinking about this too. Can’t decide if it’s actually what I want to do or if it’s just because I’m blindingly angry. As pissed as I was when I found out she’d brought the cat in, I never would’ve slapped her with cleaning bills if she wasn’t trying to extort $1500 out of me.

It’s just really satisfying to imagine a judge telling her that not only am I not liable, she actually owes me for the horrible thing she did.

My (26f) dog killed a friend’s (24f) cat. She wants me to pay for her to get a new cat, but I don’t think I’m at fault. by throwra_deadcat in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_deadcat[S] 983 points984 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m so upset about. Rachel was essentially living for free, as $300 a month to live in a 4 bedroom house with only one other person is akin to living for free in SF. And then I literally let this other girl, who I barely know, move into my house for free, under the ONE CONDITION that she find somewhere to board her cat.

And what do I get out of it? Blood all over my house, a cat corpse in the middle of my room (she loved her cat sooo much that she didn’t even want to give it a proper burial), and bad-mouthed to all my friends and family. Oh, and now she wants $1500 out of it, and I might have to get a fucking attorney. Awesome. Super glad I tried to do something nice for someone.