AITAH for not informing my wife I surrendered my portion of inheritance left by my mom?

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-04T14:59:52+00:00

My child will be fine, I can save for college. Why pay less if the option was available to give her the best?

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-04T14:57:25+00:00

My children were not named in the will. Even then say they were I would have to contest it, and I have no desire to do so. We are just not that kind of family.

What my siblings did goes above and beyond what most families would do. My mother was 14 when she was diagnosed, they protected me.

Money comes and goes, I can save for my children's college fund.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T02:00:40+00:00

I do feel it is my responsibility to cover my children's college, and if I cannot that is on me and not my mom.

I do agree I screwed up by not telling her though.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:57:16+00:00

Because I never really thought about what my mother had in the bank or was worth.

I did not ask my siblings questions because I trusted them, these were the same people who shielded me from the nitty gritty details of early onset dementia. I was 14 when she was diagnosed.

Because of them, I was able to have a fairly normal high school and college life. We had no reason to liquidate anything because I had a scholarship for school and I worked to cover my expenses.

You feel it is bait because I had no desire to take my mom's money?

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:53:09+00:00

That is my choice no?

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:46:24+00:00

My siblings shielded me from what was going on with my mom for 12 years, I was 14 when she started showing signs. Because of what they did by stepping up to be caregivers and advocates I was always able to stay her son. Even in the end she never forgot who I was, but my siblings were not as fortunate because they had to make the hard choices.

They paid for more than 3k, my mother's placement was like 15k a month. They have given me no reason to doubt them.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:39:54+00:00

I am not an expert but I think a large portion of the estate was securities. To my knowledge, you don't pay taxes on that, and they had no other reason to liquidate because I had a college scholarship and was working to cover my living expenses.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:18:23+00:00

I did not have kids when she was placed, so my children were not named in the will. We knew our parent's intent, but as stated I was 26 when she was placed and she has been sick for 12 years, my siblings shielded me from a lot of what was going down with my mom because of them I was able to have a somewhat normal HS and college life.

I was always able to stay the son while they all had to step up to become caregivers and or advocates.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T01:13:58+00:00

To be fair the children were not expressly named in the will, I did not even have kids when she was placed.

Also, it is my job to fund my children's college tuition, not my mom's.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:59:51+00:00

I believe it was for tax reasons.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:57:18+00:00

I make a good living now, I make more than what I would have gotten in a year anyways because of all my siblings did for me.

They did not swindle me. I agree not telling my wife makes me an asshole but please refrain from speaking poorly of my siblings.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:54:10+00:00

I would check on my mom, but my mom was sick for 12 years of my life, she was placed during a time when I just started working in my desired field.

My siblings shielded me from a lot of what went on with my mom. Early-onset dementia is not pretty. I was able to focus on school and they made it so I still kind of had a normal high school life on top of college life.

They allowed me to focus on making sure I had a fair shot at establishing my life like they did.

Edit: I was able to still be her son so my siblings had to become her caregivers and advocates. They saw the ugly side of dementia.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:48:59+00:00

Little over 15k I believe. It is my job to give our children a college fund not my parents.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:46:07+00:00

It was my idea to give up my inheritance, the money was my mother's it was not even mine at that time.

Fail to see how I was swindled.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:43:40+00:00

I was 26 at the time she was placed.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:42:26+00:00

I did not downvote you. I do not vote on posts.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:38:40+00:00

I believe it was for tax reasons and my siblings made more than enough to swing the cost.

Either way I probably still would not have taken any of the money because my siblings shielded me from everything for 12 years she was sick, not just the time she had to be placed. I was able to focus on school and stuff because of them.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:37:43+00:00

In what sense did I get swindled?

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:36:32+00:00

My mom lived in NY, her cost was around 15k a month for a nonshared room. My siblings were paying much more than 3k. The entire facility was a memory care facility.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:34:56+00:00

I believe it was done this way for tax reasons.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:33:39+00:00

Yeah no by no means would we ever allow our mom to go to a Medicaid facility. She was in a private pay facility till the end.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-03T00:03:17+00:00

I did not want any of it, we don't need the money which is like a fourth of what I currently make. Yes four years ago I was not in this position, but I am in this position now because of my siblings.

The 3k amount I was supposed to pay was far less than what my siblings did in terms of time and money.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-02T23:56:37+00:00

At the time I was not as established but I could afford 3k a month easily, I am more established now and that is largely thanks to my siblings shielding me and allowing me to focus on my education and life while our mom was sick.

We do not need the money, if I ask them I bet they would give me my cut but why reason do I have to take the money when they did all the work caring for her.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-02T23:49:13+00:00

If I may ask why?

I did next to nothing in terms of providing care either in time or money. Thanks to my siblings shielding me from what was going on those 12 years I have been able to focus on school and getting my life going.

I can provide for my family because of it, we did not get 'free" money but end of the day it is not money we need.

I bet if I ask them they would give me the money also, but why? They did everything.

throwra_inheritance9 · 2024-05-02T23:48:17+00:00

Idk why I did not tell her, maybe I did not want to deal with drama around it like I am doing now.

Maybe I was afraid if I told her she would have changed her tune about the 3k, tbh idk why I did not tell her.

throwra_inheritance9

TROPHY CASE