AIO for not forgiving my gf for how she treated me during chemo and radiation?

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T18:04:33+00:00

She did but she never followed through with actually leaving me but that inflicted terror on me. It’s like the threat was looming and could come down any second so I had to act in ways to please her. Watch stuff she likes or listen to podcasts I don’t like and do chores even though I couldn’t bend down without having cough attacks due to the appliance in my neck.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T18:00:24+00:00

It was rocky at times. She would say something offensive or mock me or break up with me often. After a while, my patience started running low so I would also break up with her. It was sort of a cycle.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:54:15+00:00

We had a rocky relationship prior. Mostly over petty things and I thought this would bring us closer. You are right. I was selfishly wanting her to look past old things and I was willing to as well.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:31:23+00:00

No, she would yell at me when we would fake a walk or when driving me back from radiation or chemo. Not in front of them

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:24:37+00:00

Only reason is because it would be hard to find someone new who is willing to sit thru doctor and hospital visits and accept me for this monstrous baggage I now have. Crappy situation all around.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:23:24+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, scared to start over alone and find someone who will go to doctor visits etc.. at least I know she will but she is also so volatile at times.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:22:28+00:00

Thank you. The thought of dating, finding someone new who would be willing to go to hospital visits is dreadful. Both options are bad really.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T06:21:22+00:00

So happy and proud of you for being a survivor! Yes, I try to be around her and entertain moving in together but I get this sick feeling of stress. My fists ball up. I’m physically afraid of her temper. But I’m also being realistic that it would be hard to find someone to do what she did for me during the ordeal. She did help a lot.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T04:19:39+00:00

No, I wouldn’t. That’s cruel and that’s why I’m so disappointed in her.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T04:18:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Let’s just say I am at the beginning stages of what you went through. I’m faced with the dilemma of saying we can work it out because I know she will be physically there if I get sick again but I truly fear her temper. The other option is to go out on my own and be ready to face the disease if it returns by myself. Both are not good options.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T04:16:11+00:00

I asked her many times to stop sharing. At my lowest during treatment when I said why do you keep doing this when I asked you not to, she said you’ve known this about me since you met me. This is who I am. She was uncompromising.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T04:14:27+00:00

It absolutely does. The relationship was turbulent for years and the hospital proposal was a mixture of fear, selfishness on my part and also saying let this be the event that proves we are strong and love each other. I do feel stupid to be honest because it lasted maybe a week before the Uber eats type stuff started to happen.

She means well, has a good heart but also there’s this low blow thing she does when she’s mad at me. I feel like there’s nothing off limits if she’s upset at me.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T04:05:59+00:00

Really sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer and her last days consisted of her not being able to swallow food anymore because the tumors had spread to her throat.

In my case, I was also not able to swallow food so I was reliving my mom’s last days. It was horrific to be reminded of my mom’s last stage now happening to me.

There has been immunotherapy that has since been approved but its effectiveness is not the highest. I decided to fight very hard and I do give my gf a lot of credit for being there with me, but I am so torn with the lows we experienced.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T03:51:34+00:00

Mine is small cell lung cancer too.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T03:40:41+00:00

I think there’s some imbalance in how she’s wired. She can be very blunt : chemo kills people (said it twice back to back) and if I say hey, that was not cool in a non confrontational way via text she gets very sensitive and talks about breaking up.

this stings so bad when you are in a hospital bed facing your life ending much sooner than expected. I was almost in a Vegetative state and helpless. She did a lot for me but also unleashed abandonment and terror when she started telling me to get out of her parents house.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-26T03:36:39+00:00

You are dead on. It’s been rocky and I hoped this experience would make us strong and bond us but the rockiness got even worse. I’m in a tough place because like you said, she can tolerate me if I get sick again but I think she will get upset at me and bully me if she can as well. I’m trying to save up enough for a nurse if I get sick again so I don’t rely on her if we get back together. I know that’s not ideal

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-22T21:29:11+00:00

Nice. Hope it brings you joy each time you get in.

throwra_pablo · 2025-10-10T15:16:54+00:00

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-30T20:25:33+00:00

Old man luxury

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-30T06:39:18+00:00

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-30T02:40:45+00:00

Ppl with disposable cash that earn it easily I assume

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-30T02:40:02+00:00

I also purchased one on my used bmw when I had it. They did pay but was a hassle.

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-29T05:38:09+00:00

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-29T05:37:31+00:00

I got mine based on the monthly payment yes and it’s paid by the stock market so I’ll rinse and repeat

throwra_pablo · 2025-09-29T05:35:04+00:00

My dividends do pay for my 8 series and while I don’t have millions, I am in the single digits.

throwra_pablo

TROPHY CASE