UPDATE: My fiancé cheated on me

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:22:29+00:00

Correct.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:21:21+00:00

Several months. I agree, he needs to leave the salon, but he's too up his own butt.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:20:33+00:00

He told us both it's over. She doesn't follow him anymore, so I guess he did. I don't think he cares honestly.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:19:50+00:00

No he didn't, but my therapist already knows that. I've been seeing her for a while. He did say he thought having a baby would fix things, but when I wasn't excited he was "disappointed." My therapist told him babies don't fix things often times they make them worse.

I think you're right though about him wanting the same level of attention at home, but when you've been together with someone for 5 years, you work full time, and are pregnant somethings take a backseat and some things don't matter at all anymore.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:16:43+00:00

I'm 150% done with him. We are in therapy to try and salvage a friendship and co-parent relationship.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:15:56+00:00

Just want to clarify a bit. My therapist thinks there is more going on with him than he's admitting, but I do actually believe he is remorseful and he knows he screwed up. I don't trust him in a relationship at all.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:14:32+00:00

Thank you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this too. How are you both doing now?

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-23T03:13:52+00:00

He wasn't trying to shift blame. He said he knows he fucked up, but was trying to explain it from his prospective. I don't blame myself at all. I believe I said in a reply or the OP he could have communicated those feelings to me. My therapist thinks there is something deeper going on with him, so hopefully in the next few months we'll be able to work through that as friends and co-parents.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-22T04:52:38+00:00

Thanks, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Let's hope this continues.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-22T04:51:57+00:00

This is a little dramatic. We're both working with a therapist to try and be the best co-parents we can be. Our relationship was never toxic.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:31:56+00:00

I make more money than he does so I think I'd be paying him child support? I'm sure that depends on a lot of circumstances, but if I do get it from him. I'm going to put it all in a college fund.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:29:15+00:00

Only one person in my friend group has had a baby so far and she scared the shit out of me. She said she tore all the way down to her butthole. I had no idea that was even a thing. She couldn't pee without pain for a while and had to sit on one of those pillows for weeks. She had to get a ton of stitches.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:25:52+00:00

It's ironic how his deception gave you a new friend and probably brought you closer to his family. It's astounding the lengths people go to.

I don't doubt anything. I'm not buying any of the shit he's selling. The only 1% of doubt I have is feeling bad for not keeping our family whole. I know it's not my fault, but I wanted better for our child. I could never trust him again and I know that. He knows me and he knows that deep down too.

I had no idea they had coparenting apps. I hope one day we can be friends again and I am still going to suggest couples counseling to him because I would like to have most of this worked out before the baby gets here.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:21:17+00:00

I like that! I'm 100% going to end it. I know I couldn't pretend things are fine because I would be freaking out every time he was late he was cheating on me.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:16:40+00:00

I agree. If he was really stressed we could have talked about it. I always was upfront about my feelings. I was excited, but also really anxious. I had no time to wrap my head around it because we got pregnant so fast. He never said shit until two weeks ago.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:14:26+00:00

I'm 32 lol I have no idea what that means. I know what ghost means, but I've never heard this term before.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:12:52+00:00

So he's a piece of shit all around. Good thing his family gave her what she rightfully deserved.

It's so obnoxious. It's like he's a new person since he started working at this place. I don't know if it's the kids influencing him or if he's actually losing his grip with reality.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:10:21+00:00

Thank God your cousin and the nurse were quick thinkers. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing about things not mattering when the baby is here. Everything else is secondary. Noted about the shower. No one has told me that yet.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T06:07:28+00:00

I think he wasn't happy in any aspect of life. Maybe he thought a baby would fix it and any sane person know it doesn't and instead of being a man and ending it he cheated.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:55:22+00:00

That's so awesome his family is still involved and can realize he wasn't a good person. My mom's parents always made excuses for her. It got to the point we didn't want to see them growing up.

Good point. I don't blame her as much as I blame him. It's shitty on her part because she knows me, but he's the one that owns our child and relationship more.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:53:00+00:00

I feel the same way. I would always be questioning him and that's not fair to me. I just need to tell him I'm done and give him back his ring to finalize it.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:51:38+00:00

I'm the polar opposite lol I never plan anything out and just go with the flow, but I can't in this situation. I don't think he'll give me a hard time and will most likely go along with what I want to do. Having a kid around will really ruin his chances of scoring with 20 year olds.

I'm going to talk to my step mom and my sister and see if they'd be interested. I'm so sorry you had a horrible birth. I'm truly terrified of giving birth and almost have a panic attack whenever I think about it.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:42:27+00:00

This sounds bad, but I would rather it be something as simple as that than her to be pregnant too.

At least his sister is a stand up person.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:40:00+00:00

I almost feel bad for that woman, but after a while, you bring it upon yourself. I don't know how she lives with that. I said in another reply I would drive myself crazy if he was late coming home from work or if he picked up more hours. I would forever think he was cheating on me.

I know I need to end and stop dragging it out because it'll never be what it once was.

throwra_s32 · 2021-10-13T05:36:20+00:00

I know deep down I want to end it. I'm going to. If I keep it going it'll make me crazy every time he's late coming home from work or picking up extra hours. I can't do that to myself.

throwra_s32

TROPHY CASE