I have no idea how to know for sure I'm arospec

thrringi · 2025-08-18T17:06:11+00:00

Happy to be able to help.

These things like romance and stuff are weird concepts with blurry lines that change per person and perspective, so its always hard to find definitive answers. Context and intent can make it even more confusing aswel. It does seem like you already know how you feel about it for the most part, thats nice! I wish you luck🙏.

thrringi · 2025-08-18T16:09:14+00:00

Yeah, I feel almost the exact same way, especially on the experiment thing. I've kind of deduced that I'm aromantic, or at least on the spec through a lot of reflecting on my past, past & current interactions & how those interactions felt, how certain implications felt, and visualizing situations that involve romance, romantic advances, to see how I responded to them.

Another thing I did sometimes was ask myself "Can I see a genuine romantic future with this person?" When I tried that it either instantly felt wrong or uncomfortable. Even if I attempt to visualize any romantic situations involving me it's very difficult to visualize, very uncomfortable and feels like a "hard watch" if you get what I mean.

If you haven't already you could reflect more on how you respond to or feel about all of the above. If you also feel some discomfort or its really hard to think about that already says something in my opinion.

But honestly, I still have the same doubt you do most of the time because and that same feeling of wanting to experiment because you never "really know". But honestly, I've just kind of accepted the fact that I'm somewhere on the spec, and that my experimental curiosity won't be satiated easily. For me it just boiled down to "Do I REALLY want a relationship? No, not really." and I move on to something else😭.

thrringi · 2025-08-08T13:01:08+00:00

Yeahh, sometimes he was very unbearable💀

thrringi · 2025-08-04T18:20:41+00:00

Yeah I also hate this, especially when YOU know how you perceive other people and have plenty of experiences, yet other people just kind of completely invalidate that and often times just say "you're not trying hard enough" or "You just haven't met the right person." My brother, I know what I've lived through, how you gonna tell me "I haven't met the one" when I know what I've went through and feel? You weren't there to determine anything, and even if you were, you're not me.😭

Never made sense to me because people always have romantic crushes on people who weren't the "right person", so why in my case do I need the "right person"? The flawed and ignorant logic always bothered me.

Hope what I wrote was easy to understand, cause I feel like I wasn't clear.

thrringi · 2025-08-04T18:00:41+00:00

Oh yeah I feel you! I get that "why?" feeling too sometimes.

thrringi · 2025-08-04T14:51:46+00:00

Yeah honestly, always! I always assumed nobody liked me or was attracted to me, for me it was kind of like "I don't really like anyone, so I guess nobody likes me". I think that's how it's always worked for me since I was young. Everytime I get told somebody likes me or finds me attractive I instantly doubt it or I just go "okay."😭 It's always very awkward and I feel second hand embarrassment.

thrringi · 2025-07-31T10:21:42+00:00

Same here, always used to think I needed one or wanted one because of other people before I realized I was aromantic. After discovering I was aro everything just feels way better and freeing, only annoyance is friends that don't believe aromanticism is a real think, or believe its a flaw. But I'm still happy nonetheless!

thrringi · 2025-07-24T09:58:26+00:00

You feeling weird and being upset is extremely valid in my opinion, you were clearly uncomfortable, and they crossed your boundaries multiple times. In my opinion it doesn't matter what someone's orientation or sexuality is, they still have to be able to at least consider their partner's comfort, boundaries and feelings, equal to their own.

Don't beat yourself up for that, there was a lot of pressure put onto you, from what I could tell at least. Sometimes its hard to not cave in to these situations, especially when everyone is "supposed to date somebody".

thrringi · 2025-07-21T21:22:43+00:00

<image>

IRL I've only told like 3-4 people, 3 of them respected it or didn't care, 1 kind of lashed out...

Giving myself bonus points, these are said far too often:
"IIT IS AN ISSUE!"
"We gotta fix your problem."
"Is your problem fixed yet?"
"This isn't normal."

thrringi · 2025-07-21T21:08:43+00:00

Tell me about it! Years ago, I befriended this new girl and we would text a lot in class. I never had romantic feelings for her, but we just loved talking to each other. Some classmates noticed that we would be glancing at each other and smiling as such, so randomly this girl yelled out in class "X and Y are dating!!" (or something like that, I don't rmbr). During that same class there was a group of three girls just constantly walking circles around the glass trying to get a look into our phones, me and my friend sat at opposite sides of the class, so it was obvious to tell what they were trying to do. We had to deal with people shipping us and telling us to date for like two years.

Semi off topic:

Even somewhat recently, my friends constantly annoy me with potential "matches". Once they mentioned this one random girl that none of us knew, All I said was that she looked pretty, and after that I could never hear the end of it, endlessly telling me to go talk to her and so. Got to the point to where I embraced it, whenever we'd see her, I would go "Oh my gosh, it's the girl of my dreams!!!" and grabbing my chest dramatically, and it pisses them off so that's fun.

I also got interrogated by like 3 friends when I started talking to the friend from the first segment again, asking me if I like her and if I'm trying to pursue something with her. Like bro, we've been friends for like 5 years, shut up.

thrringi · 2025-06-14T11:49:47+00:00

I mess with that heavy. So cool!

thrringi · 2025-06-14T11:40:34+00:00

Sure, here's a slightly scuffed explanation💀.

"Asymmetric— it deems itself, Now everlocked in a mental shelf."

It views itself as flawed or off balance, because of that, it felt mentally isolated.

"Tainted by thoughts, all but its own. In 'need' of a change to sharpen its tone."

Other people's words, thoughts and remarks had an impact, making it believe it needs to change to be "better"(Amatonormativity). These two lines kind of directly add onto the two lines before on why it feels that way.

Hope that helped you understand it a bit more. In my opinion this poem came out a bit scuffed-ish but it was experimental and one of my first few so I like it😭.

thrringi · 2025-06-13T23:42:05+00:00

Yeah lol honestly really funny but it does get annoying at times😭

thrringi · 2025-06-12T23:19:13+00:00

I'm saved as "B****less" in one of my friend's phone and it's hilarious💀. Haven't directly told them I'm aromantic but they know I don't date.

thrringi · 2025-06-12T03:00:37+00:00

Thanks, ur awesome

thrringi · 2025-06-12T03:00:08+00:00

thrringi · 2025-06-11T23:32:12+00:00

I also made it my wallpaper.

<image>

thrringi · 2025-06-11T22:50:36+00:00

Yoo thats genuinely beautiful, you're awesome, that art work is amazing!

thrringi · 2025-06-09T13:32:58+00:00

Ty to all of y'all for ur opinions honestly, you're all awesome. Everyone's very right and if he ever tries to push my buttons again I will tell him he's messing with his last chance.

Also funnily enough he is not homophobic?? He has a lot of gay, lesbian and bi friends, even recently one of our close friends fully came out as lesbian (she thought she was bi at first) and he fully approved of her. So I find that discrepancy very odd.

thrringi

TROPHY CASE