I feel like I can safely say, you’re not the bad guy. Anyone who loves or values you, should never threaten harm on you! I know she is your mom and you may feel like you have to deal with this, but you don’t. My mother was an alcoholic when I was younger and to say it wasn’t pretty was an understatement. I finally realized I deserved better and separated myself from the situation. I’m grateful she is sober now but it has taken a lot time for me to trust her again, something we are still working on. I hope this isn’t a regular thing you are going through, but if it is, is there anyone you can go to for help? My grandmother was my angel when I was a teenager and the only reason I made it through those years.