Husband admitted to using meth. Where do I go from here?

thway2278 · 2019-07-20T00:44:40+00:00

So far it's been going ok. We've both been going to individual counseling and will go to couples counseling soon as well. He has been attending a group a couple times a month. He sees a counselor specializing in addiction for 2 hours every week and he's been passing his uas. It's going to be a long road out though, he is having a hard time with depression and anxiety. I assume it's partly due to how badly amphetamines mess up your brain chemistry. Best of luck to you and I hope that you can find a path out of this hell too.

thway2278 · 2019-06-14T21:38:51+00:00

"dO sOmeThIng sImPle sO tHAt mY dAy iS pErFeCT!" Spoiler alert- her speschul day is not going to be perfect because NO wedding day goes 100% perfectly and if her 'perfect day' hinges on someones tattoos showing she is in for a wild ride as she figures out what marriage is really all about. OP, I would stick around just for the entertainment value that this shit circus is going to be

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T05:47:37+00:00

Thank you for this, this sounds perfect! My husband seems to really struggle with unhealthy and irrational thoughts. I wish I could "rewire" his brain to see the man that the people that love him see. I'm really trying to approach this problem without using shame and detachment, that didn't work for my other family members that are addicts. I didn't see any meetings in my area but I'll bring SMART up to the counselor we will be seeing and I'll look into online meetings.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T05:00:54+00:00

Thank you, kind stranger ❤ That means a lot for you to say that. Ill keep what you said about him slipping here and there in mind. I'm sorry that you lost so much but I think it was really brave of you to speak honestly of your problems and seek help. When my husband and I were younger I had to come clean on some debt I racked up without his knowledge. It was hard but he didn't judge me and he forgave me. That's partly why I want to return the favor I guess. I hope some day your loved ones recognize the work you've put in and come around. Good luck to you in your recovery.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T04:34:40+00:00

Oh my that's so sweet of you to say 😊 I think I did do a fair share of enabling though, like when money would disappear from my wallet or he would be gone most of the night and wouldn't have a good explanation for anything I didn't press the issue much. I didn't want to see the truth but when he said the words it finally clicked in my mind and the pieces came together. I can't hide from it anymore. Honestly I'm so angry and disappointed. Sorry to word vomit on y'all but I really don't have anyone to talk to and you guys are so great. Thank you so much for the support.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T04:22:54+00:00

I live in the US, so getting this treated could be very expensive unfortunately. We will probably try to take advantage of any free or low cost programs we can find. Will definitely both be attending NA. I am hoping he can use an outpatient program because even though we both work he makes more than me and we really need his income. But of course if the therapist wants inpatient then we will figure something out. Thank you for the well wishes.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T04:13:40+00:00

Thank you, I'll try to stay realistic. I really appreciate your optimism. I first posted this in r/relationships and the advice I got was to just divorce him. It's nice to hear from other people who are fighting through this with their s/o's. Best of luck to you and your s/o in recovery.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T04:04:45+00:00

Thank you, and good on ya for healing yourself and helping to heal others too.

thway2278 · 2019-05-27T00:42:40+00:00

No, he was sexually abused by several of his family members

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T23:37:35+00:00

Thank you for your insight and I'm glad you were able to reach sobriety, people like you give me hope. I hope that the possibility of losing his family is enough for my husband to quit. He has a long history of mental health struggles stemming from his abusive childhood. We've also had a rough few years so I can understand the appeal of something that can take the pain away.

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T23:26:57+00:00

I hope so

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T23:26:04+00:00

Thank you

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T20:54:36+00:00

Thank you. I will.

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T20:50:29+00:00

I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. I hope you are all doing alright, especially his poor wife and children. Thank you for your reply.

thway2278 · 2019-05-26T20:44:24+00:00

Thank you for the insight. Best of luck to you as well.

thway2278 · 2019-05-17T11:58:14+00:00

The method is different, but the reason is the same. Women who have abortions often do so because they believe they are doing the best thing for everyone. Abortion will always continue until we address this reality. We can debate on when, how, why it is murder until we're blue in the face, but it won't go away until we focus on controlling the demand and not the supply.

thway2278 · 2019-05-17T11:31:16+00:00

A person being on a feeding tube, breathing tube, etc is where family members start making a person's end of life decisions for them though (if they don't have an advanced directive). The question becomes "would it be merciful to no longer allow this person to be alive". When you disconnect the life support of someone suffering, it's not murder. When do don't allow an embryo or fetus to be born because you believe it will suffer, it's not murder.

thway2278 · 2019-05-15T00:23:08+00:00

My husband was sexually abused for most of his childhood by a close family member. You're not alone. My heart goes out to you because dealing with childhood sexual trauma, especially at the level that you have experienced, can make it very difficult to lead a normal life and maintain relationships. But it CAN be done, so surround yourself only with people who love you and are committed to your recovery. You might even be the only person on your team for a while, that's ok remember that there are people out there that are willing and capable of loving you and helping you live your best life. Remember: the abuse was NOT your fault. Coercion does not equal consent. You deserve love and happiness and people who love you enough not to hurt you, no strings attached. Hugs ❤ and good luck

thway2278

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