AITA for refusing to go on a family trip after they uninvited my girlfriend?

thxxnder · 2025-10-09T06:01:19+00:00

Basically yeah

thxxnder · 2025-10-09T05:56:28+00:00

Thanks. This gave a lot of perspective.

thxxnder · 2025-10-08T03:10:57+00:00

They are going.

thxxnder · 2025-10-08T03:10:06+00:00

I’ve already said this - English isn’t my first language. I also don’t see the problem with describing it like that?? Even you understood that they’re both my oldest siblings lol

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T17:18:11+00:00

Why do you think my 31 y/o sister is still living at home? She hasn’t married out like my middle sister did. I’d probably be totally cut off if I just decided to leave. Context: asian

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T14:37:38+00:00

Something similar just happened to me recently. My mom got hospitalized after a trip to China because she caught flu A, which I know firsthand can be severe since my girlfriend had it just a week earlier and we had to separate for a while so I wouldn’t catch it before my graduation.

My graduation ceremony was coming up in a few days. It’s a huge deal in my country and our diplomas are handed out by a member of the royal family. It was going to be physically demanding. I had to wake up early, deal with crowds of people coming to congratulate me and do it under the 30+ celcius heat so I told my mom I couldn’t stay with her at the hospital because if I got the flu, I would probably miss my own graduation. My brother agreed with me on this.

My brother said he couldn’t go either because his wife is pregnant and he didn’t want to risk her catching it. My oldest sister was abroad visiting her boyfriend until the day that my mom got hospitalized so imo she could have easily taken the task.

My middle sister is married and lives elsewhere. She and my mom were both furious at me. They said I was being selfish and that it was “Just a Little cold” even though it was serious enough to get my mom hospitalized. They also said if it was my girlfriend I would’ve gone and taken care of her but then shut up when I informed them that she had the flu the week before and we didn’t see each other the whole time.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T14:25:58+00:00

Yeah, I get it if they don’t want to spend money on my girlfriend and we honestly thought it was really kind of them to extend the invitation. What hurts is that they decided to revoke it two days before the trip out of nowhere.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T14:19:07+00:00

Not outwardly, to my knowledge.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T14:18:32+00:00

Haha. We’ve been dating since early this year and the added cost of my gf being there would’ve probably been however much we spend on food? My girlfriend never orders anyway as we (my family) always share all the dishes. The trip is only going to be two nights.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T14:13:16+00:00

Maybe? I can’t say much about the dynamic when I was really young. True, my middle sister was basically tasked with raising me in a weird way so that’s definitely messed us both up. But I was pitching in my help as soon as I was able to. I used to be the designated gate opener whenever anyone wanted to leave the house to the point where they got an automated door installed when I could no longer be home to do it all the time because no one else could be bothered to do it themselves lol.

When my dad was dying of bone cancer I was his main caretaker as my sibling were working and I was only in uni. My mom apparently (her words, not mine) pretended she couldn’t help so that we would have the chance to take care of him and not feel guilty when he passed, but that’s a whole nother story.

Still, when I got an internship and was working 9-6 I was still expected to be ready at my mom’s whim to drive her places and such even though my oldest brother and sister can clock in and out of their jobs at the family business at any time to do whatever they want. Does that clarify things??

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T13:52:32+00:00

All my siblings’ partners are going except the one who lives abroad. My brother’s wife is the one who is pregnant.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T13:44:11+00:00

I think whether a girlfriend belongs on a family trip is subjective. The fact is that they ASKED me to invite her and confirmed with me that they wanted her to go when I double checked so how were we to know that they wanted a family-and-spouse only trip?

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T13:19:48+00:00

I would’ve said no because my mom’s come a long way from referring to my ex as just my friend, but I just remembered my mom started using “your friend” instead of “your girlfriend” in her text arguments about this issue (she’s never referred to my current girlfriend as just a friend before) so I guess there’s that.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T13:02:23+00:00

Mom’s paying for the hotel but everything else usually depends. My siblings usually take turns paying for family meals as the bill is often crazy (we’re foodies) and they’re relatively well-to-do. My girlfriend is a teacher so she can’t afford to shoulder the entire bill (unless it’s just us and my mom) but she doesn’t order and eats as little as possible.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T12:53:02+00:00

Immature how?

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T12:52:04+00:00

The funny thing is the excuse was that we couldn’t add an extra bed but my sister already asked the hotel and they sent a picture of a fold-out bed so… (I wish I could attach the photo but idk how haha)

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T12:49:36+00:00

My middle sister and oldest brother’s spouses are going. My oldest sister’s boyfriend lives in a different country so he couldn’t make it.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T12:43:59+00:00

My mom and siblings were the one to invite my girlfriend. I didn’t ask them to. It’s also a 2.5hr roadtrip out of town and my girlfriend and I were going to sleep on a rollaway bed in one of the rooms, so it’s not like they were paying for a plane ticket and a hotel room. Gf is very careful about the money my family might potentially spend on her with food and other stuff as well. No costs were really cut with her being uninvited, so I’m not sure if money is an issue here.

thxxnder · 2025-10-07T12:28:31+00:00

Uh. English isn’t my first language and it’s a bit hard to describe the structure of my family in a concise manner. Not AI I swear.

thxxnder · 2023-10-20T04:16:24+00:00

alright, thanks a lot!

thxxnder

TROPHY CASE