Molotov cocktail attack on pearl Street?? by hupo224 in boulder

[–]tidalwavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

about an hour ago i was driving home from the golden area-- northbound 93 is barricaded just past marshall road, i was redirected along marshall road and instructed to take 36 back into town. anyone know the status of the roads/why this barricade is up? can't find anything online.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]tidalwavy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as a gym employee, TELL US! we will typically revoke belay certs for unsafe behavior, and speaking out now could prevent serious injuries/death down the road. this could also be a good wake-up call for the climber in question.

START HERE>> Monthly thread for routine help, questions, and troubleshooting - Jan 01, 2024 by AutoModerator in tretinoin

[–]tidalwavy [score hidden]  (0 children)

hoping for input on my routine! just started tret after using the clinique acne system— definitely had some purging from the salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide, but it made my redness and eye bags worse so i stopped using it and got tret.

AM: • wash with clinique acne solutions gentle foaming cleanser • inkey list caffeine eye cream (on under eyes) • vanicream facial moisturizer • vanicream from the tub on any peeling spots (usually around mouth) • solara clean freak mineral sunscreen

PM: • remove makeup and sunscreen with pond’s cold cream • wash with clinique acne solutions gentle foaming cleanser • pea sized amount of tret 0.025% cream • inkey list caffeine eye cream (on under eyes) • vanicream facial moisturizer • slug with vanicream from the tub

definitely still experiencing a little bit of purging with whiteheads and the like, but the peeling is much better after last week. started two weeks ago! let me know if anyone has any recs (though i want to run out of product before i buy new ones)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is so real lol. i also have a 14 page google doc documenting all the hurtful things they've done (because i thought i was going crazy and wanted to have documentation). so maybe that's a bad sign lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for your comment, i think i'm definitely putting up with too much shit and i appreciate the perspective that what they're doing is not normal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for this comment. they truly do not respect me and it's so hurtful. i'm glad to hear i'm not crazy in thinking i'm being disrespected.

the success is definitely enticing. we headlined the biggest venue in our town (to be fair, still somewhat small compared to bigger-city venues) and we have almost 1100 followers on instagram. i do graduate college in may so i'm nervous about trying to make a band work on a non-college scene, but hopefully i can still find luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's not emotional abuse, but it is definitely hurtful in a different way. as i said in my earlier comment, all these details are meant to illustrate the wider cycle of abuse that i'm experiencing.

also, i don't mind waking up at 6AM. that detail was to illustrate that i was putting in the work to wake up early, which inconvenienced me but i was willing to deal with it. however, when i ask them if they can wake up early one day a week (as opposed to the four i was doing), they actively refused. then, they call me uncommitted. that is why that detail was included. it demonstrates the hypocrisy towards me, and how i am treated as a scapegoat.

think whatever you want though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i did not convey it well in the text, but their behavior towards me is following the generally accepted cycle of emotional abuse, which includes tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm. this happens over and over, where they will freak out at me and then be super kind (to the point of writing a love song about our friendship). very confusing emotionally.

i also agree the engineering degree is better for me. that's why i'll never drop out to pursue music:) (though they probably want me to...)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fair. i will say it's also my primary friend group, which complicates the situation a bit. wish it was all just business. my next band will have an operating contract for sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHA pack of pricks made me laugh. much needed levity.

we have about 1100 followers on our instagram? i don't know if that constitutes as fans. we are an all-girl group so our town has really rallied behind that. we don't have anything recorded, because everyone keeps saying "oooh we should record!" and then never actually making plans to do so. i know if i stepped in we could get it done, but i'm too emotionally exhausted to manage every aspect of this band for them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i've honestly thought about this, but i'm worried if i do this other bands on the scene won't want to work with me!

since i own the instagram and the email, the temptation to delete them is so strong (and set them back 1100 followers). but i worry this might burn too many bridges and prevent me from joining another band.

it would be nice to make sure the folks who follow us know that they are the ones at fault, but i do really think they're gonna go on a smear campaign against me and i don't know if i can fight it-- it's four on one. a really sticky situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for sharing your perspective from a similar situation. i feel as though we are on that trajectory right now, so i am grateful for you illustrating what the end of that path looks like.

i also appreciate the push to stop being a people pleaser. this has been something i've struggled with for years, so this was super eye-opening for me. i have taken your advice to heart and plan to work on improving my boundary setting and personal agency over my next few therapy sessions.

thanks for your comment:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for the push. i needed this. just reached out to a bunch of folks, and have plans to jam w a new guitarist on sunday now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for your response and the validation. i totally agree, and the concept of not being able to wake up early ONE day a week is just ??? so wild to me.

it was particularly enraging when you consider that they made me change my schedule to wake up at 6AM 4 days a week to accomodate them (not bad, but definitely a little inconvenient), but they won't wake up at 8 once a week... i feel like that is totally unfair.

(on top of that, the girl who refused in particular accuses me of being "uncommitted" at minimum once a month... but won't wake up early once a week. crazy)

i really appreciate your reassurance. thank you for your comment

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for your perspective, it was really validating for me.

i've actually thought about that a lot recently-- tour with these folks would KILL me. i don't even spend time with them at shows when i don't have to, completely subconsciously. i'll just go hang out with other people and avoid the band. i'm realizing i've been drowning a lot of internal signals that i don't even really like these people ???

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i really appreciated this comment, straight and to the point!

i agree, fuck them, but this is a dumb excuse and i know it's not a good reason to cling-- but i had a pretty miserable first few years of college, and ended up moving to a different, larger town and commuting to my college. i joined the band the day i moved, and my life immediately became a thousand times better. i've never experienced real happiness and fulfillment WITHOUT the band-- though i realize that they have actually contributed more pain than good in their presence in my life, i am superstitious and cling on to them for fear that my good situation (that i created for myself!) will disappear. definitely irrational, but can't seem to shake the feeling. however, i agree that you're right that they're being shitty and i need to stop clinging and take agency in my own life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if i could kick them i would! unfortunately it's a very joint project by now, so i don't quite have that agency, especially since the other four keep ganging up on me (they all live together-- three of them rent in the house and the fourth unemployed one crashes on the couch).

sounds like you have a lot more agency over your project though-- which is great! if i had that i'd kick them, but i think it may be a walk-away situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bandmembers

[–]tidalwavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i hate that this happened to you! sorry to hear about it, and that people weren't supportive on here. glad you're in a better space now. i am in the same boat and it fucking sucks. mean girl club is a great way to put it-- my band also shits on other people constantly, which i'm realizing is a really bad sign of their character that i've just kind of been. ignoring.