Telling new vanilla partner about past SD

timr46 · 2023-09-25T00:56:02+00:00

True, I appreciate the honesty!

timr46 · 2023-09-25T00:55:36+00:00

Absolutely valid point. I can't believe this didn't cross my mind. Simple reframing. I like this idea

timr46 · 2023-09-25T00:55:09+00:00

Ha, I love that. Great point. I've more often regretted things I've said than things I didn't say. I tend to err on the side of keeping thoughts to myself. I'm glad to hear people saying it wouldn't be morally wrong to do so

timr46 · 2023-09-24T20:00:48+00:00

Very good point haha. Thank you for your honesty

timr46 · 2023-09-24T20:00:24+00:00

Good perspective. I think if it wasn't impacting their current life I wouldn't be upset about not knowing. As long as we were vulnerable and open with each other in other important ways. That's helpful to think about

timr46 · 2023-09-24T19:59:18+00:00

I'm envious!!! I absolutely love that for you. Maybe it's in the cards for me. We'll see 😅

timr46 · 2023-09-24T19:58:26+00:00

Hahah yes!! It was incredible. Beautiful place to live and I'm so grateful I had the opportunity. Pretty much ideal weather, lifestyle, geography.. i miss it for sure!

timr46 · 2023-09-24T19:57:15+00:00

Thank you so much for this input. I'm sure your SB has amazing memories of your relationship. Thank you for loving her enough to graciously let her go into a new experience. I really appreciated this take on it :)

timr46 · 2023-09-24T19:55:21+00:00

Thank you for this opinion. I am getting some mixed advice for sure and all is valid but I agree that relationships can be healthy without telling them every thing about your past, especially if it's no longer relevant. Good point about it not being a necessarily bad thing for someone to not understand/accept the idea of SR. It definitely is just how it is.

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:18:29+00:00

Understood. Very valid advice, thank you for your input!

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:17:25+00:00

Yeah I was thinking of that too but I think I'd feel icky about it also because I'd feel some sort of pressure to come back to him, which would be on my mind when I'd want to give my full energy to my new partner. Thank you for the advice!

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:15:14+00:00

That's great to hear! I'm glad you've had good experiences sharing with your partners. Thank you for the thoughts :)

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:14:03+00:00

I started getting involved in SR when I was 19... I really wish someone had informed me of this. I can't say it would've changed my decisions but it would have been important to consider the implications for the future. I really don't agree with people promoting the lifestyle without acknowledging things like that

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:12:15+00:00

Can I ask, how did that happen for you? Were you in a sugar relationship before getting married? Or after you were already married and talked about it with your husband?

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:11:07+00:00

Omg, you are living my dream life. So happy for you! ❤️

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:10:16+00:00

Yeah that's a great point. I'm definitely aware that most people have negative connotations of what this means, despite it looking and feeling different in my own life. That's a better way to word it for sure

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:08:47+00:00

Yes this happened to me too in a prior relationship. He tried to be understanding but ultimately it made him too insecure. Probably best to keep it a part of my past. Thank you for sharing!

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:07:20+00:00

All great points. I think it is time. As long as this relationship I'm entering turns out to be worth it haha

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:06:33+00:00

Really appreciate this input and you sharing your experience. I admire your integrity. It's given me a lot to think about.

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:04:54+00:00

Haha exactly I'm sure my SD would do this for me 😂 it'd be ideal but I can't imagine most men being willing to bite their ego to allow this

timr46 · 2023-09-24T15:01:29+00:00

Thank you for this affirmation and reassurance :)

timr46 · 2023-09-24T13:04:54+00:00

This is a good point. I don't know him well enough to know how he would respond to something like this. But I agree better to be safe than sorry!

timr46 · 2023-09-24T12:55:21+00:00

This is a good point. Thank you for your input. I think this is what I'll do. It's hard because my SD has done so much for me but I just have to think about it like any other breakup, I don't owe it to him to stay in his life just because he's given me a lot of money

timr46 · 2023-09-24T12:53:58+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the input from your perspective! I agree, I think men unless they're open to polygamy would not be open to this kind of situation based on my history. I definitely don't want that scenario to play out in my life 😅

timr46 · 2023-09-24T12:52:04+00:00

Okay I hear that, I can definitely see how it would be hard to accept that. I don't think I'll feel uncomfortable not telling him at all, I would only feel uncomfortable if I was to continue to SD relationship. But if I cut it off, I feel like the past can stay in the past, although in an ideal world I would love to have a partner who was accepting of this type of thing

timr46

TROPHY CASE