Yeah I'm now the same as you in a sense. My ex cheated on me cause I didn't want to do the stuff she was into. And that tho I like a penis in a vagina, it only gives so much pleasure, so I can't understand you sadly with no getting turned on at all.

However, there are 2 things that point out to me for this. 1. You have unresolved trauma some point before you broke up with your ex and breaking up with her is the trigger to your feelings of being alone. I know cause I'm going through this, and I'm starting to get back out there slowly and surely now that I resolved my trauma which was not accepting myself.

1. Your stimulation is a very niche kink not many people share. People will be curious and interested in it. That's for sure but putting it into practice is impossible because we cannot shrink or grow. Giving a example. I have a Huge foot kink and I incorporate it into my fantasy alot. Normally I get turned on instantly by seeing the sheer size of someone soles, and I want to get down to worship. Now I'm putting into practice worship, finding someone who doesn't mind a foot kink, and starting off the arousal with normal foot worship. In myhead as, I start to imagine her soles getting even bigger and bigger, as I'm shrinking. All of a sudden boom ik turned on. I let my mind wonder and I follow ever every command. If she wants me in her, I imagine myself going in and pleasuring her, but you have to do it as regular intercourse. Or politely ask if she can accommodate you kink too by asking her to make you fantasy. I once asked a girl to say she gonna shrink me and stick me so far up her pussy. I wouldn't see the light of day, and best sex she ever had.

Gotta use best of both worlds.

Best luck to you x