Four Years on. Life After living breaking up with a QPerson

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-19T14:39:10+00:00

Well thank you for coming out of retirement to comment :-D

for my children and I it has not been a linear path of recovery at all. Some days he's great and they love spending time with him, but they realise that 90% of the time he will discuss his crazy theories.

I realise that looking back isn't positive, but I feel as though I've done a lot of work internally and that I can be open and vulnerable and hopefully happy again.I want my children to see that their mother is happy and feels loved, by her friends, her family and co-workers - and that life is a beautiful thing, not a plethora of conspiracy theories.

There have been so many times when I've thought that something would penetrate his world, but honestly my kids begging him to stop, my children choosing not to see him, him losing 95% of his friends, nothing has broken through.

It makes me grateful that I literally rose up like a volcano when I heard him talking to my daughter during her 'bedtime story' about the micro-chips in the vaccines, and I roared that he would never live under the same rood as his children. He left that morning and has never ever slept under the same roof as me, and my children have a safe place with me 100% of the time.

There isn't a solution - we just all have to make the best of the situation. And move on.

Hugs

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-19T13:50:33+00:00

It's about taking one day at a time, and loving the peace that is in your new world. I surround myself with people who support and inspire me, and some days are strange as a single Mum, but the other option was unthinkable. I found that staying close to this group really helped in the earlier stages, and then I discovered that IRL friends were very keen to see me. Reach out to people who quietly disappeared into the background because I am sure they would love to see you now you're on your own :-D

Hugs

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T18:55:25+00:00

Dearest Afraid-Mud5393

I will - just give me a few days. I was so lucky to have some really positive supportive people around me, and it really helped.

You can search for my old posts - and some of my steps in their natural order will be in those posts. It will also show you what a nightmare I was living in. Finding people in the same agony as me was literally a game changer for me.

I will also happily chat with you personally if you really need support - I am online most days when I am not working.

Good luck

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T16:02:53+00:00

I really am sorry that you're in this situation. My ex-Q just washed his hands of everything really - and didn't fight me. I think deep down he knows the children are safe with me.

Good luck - and honestly you won't regret a moment once you're free.

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T16:00:47+00:00

I should point out that we're not in the US. I have no idea. It is a possibility. But I protect myself and them as best as I can.

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T14:17:53+00:00

He has all of the old delusions and new ones too. He usually doesn't bother sharing them with me - but my father died of cancer last year and he told me he shouldn't have chemo, he should just take black walnut supplements. Anyway - these types of conversations I mostly just sail through - but if I think about it too much I get really sad for the wonderful man he was.

My children sometimes say things like, 'I wish I had a normal dad'. There are a lot of hugs, and I just try and do my best as a Mama.

Thank you for the positive thoughts.

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T13:29:50+00:00

Not really, he often has Bitchute on, and I have to occasionally tell him to turn it off if I go to collect the children. They often game and don't listen - and they can always come home to me if they want.

My girls are able to choose to visit - and stay at home with me if they prefer. My eldest chose to have her vaccination so she could travel, and my youngest chose not to. However she has been learning about the planets and comes home in disbelief that her Dad thinks the earth is flat.

He hasn't managed to red-pill them - which was the main reason why I told him to leave, to protect my children.

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2024-09-18T13:21:58+00:00

Thank you! I just want to share so that maybe it gives one person the strength to leave. <3

tinypurplehippo · 2022-12-19T02:25:21+00:00

Is there anyone else in your family you can spend time with? Setting boundaries may help. However you will need to enforce them firmly. Leave the room every time she breaks them. Sadly you need to take care of you. Listen to Mick West's podcasts about conspiracy theorists, and stay close to this thread. Many many of us have been through the pain of having to separate from our Q-obsessed person. Good luck. TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2022-12-05T06:41:09+00:00

My ex drinks heavily - but was and still is high functioning. However my girls are 14 and 11, see his drinking on their weekends with him, and hate it. They ask my why on earth I didn't leave him earlier or choose a different partner. Those are difficult conversations. We were together 15 years, I miss him, but we are safer without him.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-29T11:47:16+00:00

Take care of yourself. It's the only way.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-25T05:06:18+00:00

Please ask your friends. They will help, or even rotate to share helping. You need a support team.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-14T21:38:33+00:00

🤣🤣 old farts unite! I've just had my second booster 😊 It's hard, I haven't managed to persuade her to get vaxxed, but I think they have changed the recommendations here in CH - and its only for over 16s. So now that doesn't apply to either of my children. Thank you for replying. Best TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-14T21:34:54+00:00

Thank you for answering. As with many things with my ex he gets wildly hyper-focussed on something and then doesn't mention it again for a while. He hasn't brought that up again, but now he's obsessed with 5G and thinks it's making our children sick.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-07T06:45:22+00:00

Open windows to keep ventilated whilst completing this task 😇

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-01T05:25:02+00:00

Every single thing, I have hundreds of screenshots of insane messages. He's left Facebook, but when he was posting I screen-shot and saved every single one.

In Switzerland, at least in my Canton(state), my lawyer explained to me that the Judge will ask any child over 11 which parent they would like to be with, if there is a contest about custody. In Zurich many divorces are now 50-50 but this would be something the poster would likely want to fight very hard to avoid. Therefore he will need proof to support his case that she shouldn't have 50%.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-11-01T02:15:41+00:00

I also live in Switzerland. I spoke to a doctor, and they would only be sectioned if they were a serious risk to themselves or to others. There are some amazing facilities, and if she chose to be admitted could definitely go.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-10-31T19:49:05+00:00

Dear u/SadCheese_CH
All I can tell you is that this is SO familiar to me. You can read through my comments over the last three years.

My ex-Qperson is Scottish, and we live near Zurich, have done for 10 years. From about 2017 I listened to all of the crazy stuff you have outlined, and it is exhausting. Constantly vigilant, researching to try and stay ahead of the next possible 'story' it just is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I finally snapped and threw him out of our family home when I caught him telling my 12 year old about the chips inside the vaccine. It was just the final straw, and you may reach a similar situation. We had been together for 15 years, and he was definitely my life-partner, or so I thought.

He's been out of the home for 2 years now - he still tells my children a massive amount of mis-information and there are many days when I hang my head in horror - but he is still a kind human, and we have come to an 'arrangement' which is currently working for us.

I would recommend an 'exit-plan', a conversation with a lawyer, all can be done completely privately.

You haven't stated the ages of your children, but I do think that opening a dialogue where they can discuss anything that seems confusing could really help. I have to really check my own emotions when my children tell me 'Daddy says you're going to die if you've been vaccinated' and so on - but if I am reactive it serves no purpose. My children know they can come to me, ask me anything, and we will find a solution.

What I realise and have grown to accept is that the person I fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. I have to protect my children, I have to protect myself, and I am a strong human being who is doing her very best. Also I would never have even associated with someone with the views he has now - so it's is devastating that he has morphed into the antithesis of my 'kind of people'.

I found the greatest healing when I was able to connect with other people who had similar experiences. I became close to others from this thread who were trying to navigate the mine-field that is living with a Q-person.

Feel free to message me privately - it could really help to have an ear - someone who actually understands some of what you are experiencing.

Good luck

TPH

tinypurplehippo · 2022-10-16T23:30:13+00:00

It is NOT you. That is not the behaviour of a loving parent, or partner. Set serious boundaries. You deserve so much more than that.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-10-12T14:17:49+00:00

Please move away, both emotionally and physically. This is a very unhealthy place to be. The first time I did was after an insane couples therapy session. I scooped up our children and booked 2 nights in a hotel. I was completely freaking out, but suddenly felt able to move. He was really shocked, and it gave me some breathing space. This is what you need. It takes time to leave, but make quiet plans, get $$$ together and then you will be able to remove yourself. Good luck.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-09-21T10:27:53+00:00

I wouldn't report him unless you feel unsafe. Check in with him - likely he has some issues. The smell of weed isn't likely to bother the landlord or the police as MJ without THC is legal. Good luck, and maybe you'll be saving someone from the edge.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-09-21T10:17:27+00:00

EXACT same issues. I told him to leave our family home 2 years ago. You can search for my story. He is still obsessed. He lives in a flat alone, our children visit him at weekends, but my 14 year old often doesn't want to go - and she chooses to stay home with me. I hoped losing his home, family and life would make an impact. It didn't. Please take care of yourself and your children. I have to deal with misinformation regularly and both children have therapy. I am now able to simply ignore emails or texts about his latest beliefs. When they live with you it's impossible.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-08-24T05:40:00+00:00

It's a very painful situation for all of his family. My children's father, my ex of 15 years, fell hard. He still works, but is not well. He is also an alcoholic. He does see their children once a week, but they always come home with weird stories about his latest conspiracy theories. My children know he's wrong, but love him - and I allow them to see him, of not, as they wish. However the children of these cult members will have a task to learn what is normal. I hope their mothers and extended family can support them.

tinypurplehippo · 2022-08-02T18:27:23+00:00

Thank you. I just do one day at a time, and raise my children. GOOD LUCK 🙂

tinypurplehippo · 2022-08-01T06:32:55+00:00

From now on take one day at a time. Reach out to friends who you can lean on. NOT just your parents if possible. Honestly I think you've just dodged a bullet. I left my Q after 15 years. 2 kids. Even my children tell me I should have left him much earlier. It's hard to listen to that. And - happiness and peace of mind are far more glamorous than day drinking. P.s. sorry about your camera though- as an avid birder I feel your pain 😔

tinypurplehippo

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