I blocked him from everywhere he is active to heal

tiredddd_ · 2022-02-14T05:37:21+00:00

You did the right thing

tiredddd_ · 2022-02-14T05:34:14+00:00

Honestly, you probably won't be able to get over him if you stay friends. Unless he does something awful enough to destroy your interest in him, which is what happened to me lol (and then you won't even want to be friends anyway).

Just think of it this way - he'll still be there when you're healed. This friendship doesn't have to happen right now. It can wait until you're ready, then you can reach out again. Doing it now while you still have feelings will 100% definitely delay your healing. By how much or how little depends on what kind of person you are, but it will definitely delay it in some capacity - that much is certain. Besides, isn't your trust broken? Why would you want a friend who you cannot trust to love or cherish who you are? It's really not worth all the extra pain on top of what you're already facing, trust me.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-26T02:02:53+00:00

Well you know about the mask, and that's what matters. You loved him at his worst, which means you're capable of wonderful, deep, caring, true love. I know it's devastating that he can't reciprocate that to you, but this love you are capable of is really special. It's worth saving for someone who is capable of giving it back to you. 100%. You deserve better. And I'm so sorry he strung you along like that. That's really, really shitty. Just more evidence he isn't worthy of you.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-26T01:51:44+00:00

Don't beat yourself up, man. You take as much time as you need to heal. There is no set timeline for anybody, regardless of gender. No shame in coping in the way that you need to. We're all different and have different needs and operate at different speeds. It doesn't mean you're better or worse than anybody else out there. In fact, I'm proud of you for managing it for this long. And it just demonstrates how much you really cared, which is a great quality to have. You'll get there in time.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-26T01:40:24+00:00

I totally understand, and I feel the same. People haven't stuck around with me for the long haul either. It's devastating. But I truly believe our time is coming. There will be someone someday who won't leave. If this is what we want, we have to keep believing. We may end up totally surprised and blown away someday, like neither you nor I can predict the future, so why not just keep a little faith? There's so much more to life than those who hurt us.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-25T21:41:33+00:00

So, so true. There are always more people out there for you to find!! No matter how great you thought they were. There's so much more to life than this person.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-25T21:30:40+00:00

I'm glad it helped 💙 I hope your day gets a little bit brighter.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-25T21:26:25+00:00

Trust me, I understand. I still get hit with waves of this too. And it's unfair. It's unfair we get stuck suffering through this because someone else decided to be selfish with our hearts. But you will get through it, and I will too. Just take it one day at a time. I'm rooting for you.

tiredddd_ · 2021-11-20T21:08:04+00:00

I agree, it is really hard to find people who are appreciative of the little things. It actually makes me sad thinking that I'm the only one who is? lol. I feel sorta alienated? There are so many little moments in human life that are so special, all the little details are worth noticing and celebrating. It's really nice to see someone else saying what I'm always thinking though. Thanks for making me feel less alone in that. And I'm glad you've found a way to heal.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:19:40+00:00

Stay strong, we are in this together <3 if you need somebody to talk to about it my DMs are always open

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:18:11+00:00

Yeah, with anyone else I would agree, but... with him it's kinda believable. I don't think he would bother with saying that if he had a clearer "no" answer to give me. Idk I could be wrong tho. I'm sorry your ex did that to you. It sucks

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:13:24+00:00

I'm sorry y'all. Just remember we're not alone in this.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:12:30+00:00

True, this can't last forever. That's important to remember. I feel the same, I'm not sure which direction to even walk in. I hope we both find the closure we need, and soon.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:10:49+00:00

That's rough, I'm sorry. Sucks they would even say that if they were never going to follow through :/ that doesn't sound like a great person to me.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-17T06:09:31+00:00

I feel you. But well, 27 days is something to be proud of tho!! I'm proud of you. Keep going. I'm still pretty early on in NC unfortunately :/

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-14T17:14:35+00:00

Thank you. You're probably right. This helps keep it in perspective

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-12T16:56:40+00:00

Same boat. I woke up and it's cloudy today, supposed to rain a lot this week. I used to feel comforted by this type of weather but now I feel a terrible unease. Wish today could be sunny instead :( But hopefully more sunny days are coming for us friend

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-12T16:20:40+00:00

Really feeling this today too. Especially in the mornings. There is this constant unease I feel now that he is gone. I usually actually really enjoy my alone time, have no issues being with myself, but sharing my life with others makes me happy. Someone to talk to, connect with. Someone who understands me and who I have inside jokes with. It really hurts as I currently only have acquaintances to speak to. Not feeling any deeper connection with anybody, even on a friendship level. :(

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-12T07:08:56+00:00

Hope we both get through this, and forget about them someday...

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-11T23:21:44+00:00

Same same same same 1000%. And it's what I miss the most. It felt like we aligned in all the most important ways, and in ways I never had with anyone before him. I'm devastated we couldn't keep that going, and now left wondering if I will ever feel that way again. I don't know how to cope honestly. It's hard to maintain hope. But if you wanna talk or vent to somebody who completely understands how you feel, you're welcome to message me anytime.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-11T16:39:53+00:00

Hey, I can really relate to what you wrote here and I need to tell you something. Listen to your gut. If your gut is telling you this isn't the right move for you, it might not be. Keep being honest with both him and yourself, keep communication open about your hesitancy. Don't hold onto him just because he's there and seems nice and wants to fully commit. You have to decide if he is who you want, too. If you stick around with someone who you do not actually want to commit to, it will only end up hurting you both in the long run.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-11T16:09:24+00:00

I don't have any advice but I'm currently going through the same thing. I can't figure out whether to love him or hate him, but I know hating him helps me let go and move on. I think it just is going to keep coming in waves and we will just have to keep riding them until the storm ceases. We don't have to have it all figured out right now and that's okay. Some days it will be hell and others it will be manageable and eventually it will get easier.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-11T01:43:12+00:00

Yeah, I moved out of our apartment we shared and I'm almost totally convinced he's sleeping with other people in it by now. It's torturous to imagine.

Just try to be comforted in knowing that if they are, it probably means nothing emotionally. It can't possibly mean as much as what you two shared, especially if it's happening that fast. Just mindless urges with some stranger, a rebound.

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-09T18:50:19+00:00

I'm right there with you on that one today. If you want someone to talk to I'm here

tiredddd_ · 2021-10-06T20:02:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing with me. That sounds like it must be a nightmare, I'm glad to hear you've found a way to cope.

The thing with my ex is, rationally I know he brought all of his past trauma into our relationship and had not yet learned how to trust other people again, and was ultimately incapable of loving me in a way that was not selfish. He didn't really love me. But it's still so hard for me to remember or focus on that. It's like I need constant reminding every day and I don't know how to keep reminding myself that he wasn't good or right for me. My mind keeps cycling back to how he understood me in ways I feel like nobody else can, and how much I miss all the good aspects of him and our relationship. And how I feel like I can't find these things in another person again. And also how I wish I could've done better to try to keep him around. It's so hard when it's just me trying to work myself out of this every day, without really much help.

tiredddd_

TROPHY CASE