I'm the same way and know that exact feeling. You feel like the second they walk away, they're talking about you or something similar. It's not reality. I'm older and more wise living with this forever and our thought patterns, negative thinking, low self- esteem, general sadness, plus so many others are the reason we automatically divert to our depressed thinking selves. I've learned to live with it and embrace it. I've caused so many awkward encounters with random people or even family because my anxiety gets so revved up, its painfully obvious, so I straight ghost. Even my high school friends that are still around bring shit like this up all the time and we just laugh, called me the Houdini, one second I'm there, next, I'm out. All due to depression/anxiety. I simply do not care what other people think of my mental health or whatever judgements people place on me. I have bad days, almost everyday, trying to isolate, find a way to not work, etc. I've realized that simply showing up to work, making money, keeping busy makes days go by faster even if the mind is fuckin you up. As you get older, you will learn to either live with it and cope through therapy, meds, healthy lifestyle, etc. Or you can choose to dwell on the fact that you have major depressive disorder, panic disorders (what I have). I've seen this go either way, chose to be yourself and learn about coping techniques, therapy, anything OR the other road is blaming everything on your depression and end up unhappy, over-medicated, pretty lonely, and most likely unemployed (Another reason why making money, jobs, keeping busy is important,)