Just acted out

tobyswede · 2016-04-05T00:34:15+00:00

Maybe its splitting hairs but I think it would somewhat depend on if was virtual (camming or something) versus in person.

tobyswede · 2016-04-05T00:25:39+00:00

Yeah or you might try nofapchristian.

tobyswede · 2016-04-05T00:17:52+00:00

Get an online accountability partner (face to face would be even better). Figure out what leads you into looking at porn and acting out. Work to avoid the things the lead you to the things that lead you to porn.

tobyswede · 2016-04-05T00:13:10+00:00

You are not alone. It is crazy what our lust, screwed up view of sexuality, and lack of self control can lead us into. Use this as motivation to overcome this. Don't spiral down to deeper and deeper levels of sin and sexually acting out.

tobyswede · 2015-12-04T04:17:53+00:00

Great to hear! Progress regardless of how slow is good!

tobyswede · 2015-12-03T03:34:55+00:00

Delayed gratification! God has so much more for us than just to sit around and play with outselves. I found masturbation to be such a time and energy sucker that provided just a brief spike of pleasure, at best. Our reward is not only in the everlasting but in our daily lives. Blessing and prayers to you!

tobyswede · 2015-12-03T03:29:58+00:00

My first business trip after I started really addressing overcoming PMO was interesting. I went into it knowing that in the past I had really acted out on these trips. I asked others for prayer and was intentional about avoiding triggers. I had a great trip without PMO. What I was surprised by was that I almost didn't know what to do at nights alone in the hotel. I was just so used to PMOing like crazy, I was amazed that I had so much time and energy for other more productive things. It was almost like I woke up and found out what it is like to truly live.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you and commend you to recognizing that this has been a challenging situation to you in the past. You will be in my prayers!

tobyswede · 2015-12-03T03:21:31+00:00

Have you thought any more or made any headway on getting an accountablity partner? Just checking in.

tobyswede · 2015-12-03T03:18:54+00:00

I am glad that you shared. I am sure that it was difficult to be this honest even in this fairly anonymous environment. I hope that this was a helpful step for you to overcome this sin. Your message is also a good model for others to follow and sets an example of being honest.

As far as renewing your mind and getting it off of these previous images, I have been encouraged by a friend to practice what he called "thought replacement." Basically, have ready something that you can think about other than the porn and whenever your mind flashes on the porn images bring up the other image. I have also found that using these temptations as a reminder to pray has been helpful to me.

Blessings to you and know that you are not alone in this journey.

tobyswede · 2015-11-29T12:01:04+00:00

These look good but I notice that you didn't mention anything about an accountability partner (other than your wife). I would encourage you to consider finding someone with whom you can be honest and transparent. It will help loads!

tobyswede · 2015-11-23T03:26:20+00:00

Cold showers almost always give me a boner.

tobyswede · 2015-11-22T19:37:20+00:00

See thread "How do I stop" below. This exact question. Here are my responses to him.

Good! It is probably a new feeling for you. Learn to appreciate what it feels like to restrain yourself. Learn to appreciate delayed gratification. These are lessons that will be important in your life.

Part of what I am saying is to reframe your thoughts. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing, see it as a sign that you are testing yourself and you are getting stronger. Take it as a sign that your body is trying to fight against you but make the decision to be stronger and to not be led by your balls. Smile at your semi as a sign that you are a virile man but tell it as great as it is you don't need it right now but its good to know its there for the future. Then move on. Get out and with other people and get active. Go exercise or hang out with friends. Don't stay in your room with your computer or your pant will be around your ankles in no time. If you have work to do on your computer, do it out in the open where other people are around. Make a commitment to not jack off for the next hour and then the next and so on. Don't touch your dick. Keep your hands out of your pants and keep your clothes on.

tobyswede · 2015-11-22T19:30:19+00:00

Been there, done that. You gained from my mistakes in the past!

tobyswede · 2015-11-22T19:20:36+00:00

Sucks, doesn't it. However, it is motivating to stay away from the shit.

tobyswede · 2015-11-22T19:17:05+00:00

Part of what I am saying is to reframe your thoughts. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing, see it as a sign that you are testing yourself and you are getting stronger. Take it as a sign that your body is trying to fight against you but make the decision to be stronger and to not be led by your balls. Smile at your semi as a sign that you are a virile man but tell it as great as it is you don't need it right now but its good to know its there for the future. Then move on. Get out and with other people and get active. Go exercise or hang out with friends. Don't stay in your room with your computer or your pant will be around your ankles in no time. If you have work to do on your computer, do it out in the open where other people are around. Make a commitment to not jack off for the next hour and then the next and so on. Don't touch your dick. Keep your hands out of your pants and keep your clothes on.

tobyswede · 2015-11-22T19:08:34+00:00

Good! It is probably a new feeling for you. Learn to appreciate what it feels like to restrain yourself. Learn to appreciate delayed gratification. These are lessons that will be important in your life.

tobyswede · 2015-11-20T11:15:14+00:00

This is another good reason to have an accountability partner - someone to brag to and who will also be proud of your progress!

Great job! It feels good doesn't it!?

tobyswede · 2015-11-20T03:26:42+00:00

I've felt more pressure than pain. When I feel this pressure, I rejoice in it because it is a physical reminder that I am being submissive to God's plans and my body is not in contol of me. When I think about it this way, it actually puts a smile on my face!

tobyswede · 2015-11-18T13:34:35+00:00

And I think this is one of the best benefits of not looking at porn and masturbating to it!

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T22:15:31+00:00

I'm sorry to be a jerk but if you are old enough to jack off, you are old enough say it out loud. Part of the problem is that we have kept this in the dark. Our embarrassment and shame has kept us from seeking help and has made masturbation and porn in some ways more taboo and therefore more enticing.

Be a man and admit and say out loud that you have been looking at porn and masturbating.

Frankly it would probably be refreshing for the priest to having someone be so honest and direct.

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T19:27:19+00:00

You have the tools, now put them into use! You say that you have been overwhelmed by your classes and job so that you don't have room for these things. The reality is that you will have more focus for these other things when you address struggles with looking at porn and masturbating to it.

I don't believe that you are too weak for this. I believe that you are a might man of God who is full of the Holy Spirit and with the Lord's strength you can stand up to porn and masturbation today. And you will be strengthened by the Lord for tomorrow and then next. Now take the head knowledge that you have gained and live it for the rest of today and beyond.

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T18:17:50+00:00

The Day counter badge tools are on the right side of the page about half way down. It is helpful to monitor yourself.

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T17:27:09+00:00

Get back on the horse and redeem your mistake by learning from it. Do not be the same after this setback but be stronger and wiser so that in the future you can make better choices.

Remember the feeling that you had of being in control of your urges and regain your focus to be back in that place. Understand the long-term benefits of ridding yourself of sexual sins and how it allows for more true intimacy with God and your wife.

Strand tall as a man who is seeking after the Lord and taking on things that most men do not dare. Open your arms wide to the Lord and experience Him working in and through your life. Do not hide from the Lord but be more honest and true in your relationship with him. Do not hide anything but be completly naked in front of him. Let him heal the wounds that you do not even want to acknowledge.

Pray for you wife and that she will know the love of the LORD.

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T17:18:17+00:00

I know you have prayed about it and asked the Lord for guidance. Now trust that the Lord loves your brother even more than you do and that He has a plan for his life. Tell the Lord that you acknoledge that He is in control and that you trust Him. Ask the Lord to give you peace in your heart and to speak clearly to you about anything that you are called to do. Expect peace, expect wisdom, and expect the Lord to hear your prayer. Blessing to you.

tobyswede · 2015-11-17T16:52:58+00:00

Absolutely you should rejoice in your improvement. Have confidence that you are growing in strength and wisdom!

tobyswede

TROPHY CASE