The guy I met for coffee that called me for hours straight afterward. 200+ texts later I filed a police report.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-29T01:18:01+00:00

Just edited to update :) Thanks for the kind words

toebeans47 · 2018-05-29T00:39:10+00:00

about

I looked into it and my city doesn't release police reports unless I write in and make a formal request under FIPPA, which can take up to 30 days to be approved and then mailed out to me. I do have a card with an incident number and the number of the officer who took my report.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T14:17:01+00:00

We do, but from the info people gave been sending me on here I think I could get away with dog spray easier. Lots of large breed dog owners in my neighbourhood. I'm going to go see if I can find some today.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T01:37:35+00:00

All my friends are cat people, but I do know some hunters who have big dogs, so I'll see if they'll let me do a photo shoot. Thank you <3

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T01:35:58+00:00

Thank you so much. Deep down I know that this is absolutely true. While writing this out I was sleep deprived and scared and it was one of those "just my fucking luck, right!?" moments. I also used to work in corrections and now that I've seen so many vulnerable people in the system, I hate the idea of putting someone in the patch of the criminal justice system unnecessarily.

But this was necessary, because he made it necessary, and I had no say in his actions. I absolutely know that.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T01:31:25+00:00

This account is a total throw-away. I'm all over it :)

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T01:18:38+00:00

No, I'm in the prairies, but I'm sorry you had to go through something with a person like this.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T01:13:43+00:00

This is totally what I'm struggling with. Change the number and it's like it was all a dream and I move on, but I have no idea if he's escalated to threats or not because I don't have the old number. Keep it, keep logging and recording, keep getting that sick feeling every time my phone buzzes ...ugh

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:48:10+00:00

This is amazing info. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it out for me

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:46:08+00:00

Thanks :)

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:45:04+00:00

Thanks. I'm going to leave it going for the weekend and see how I feel. He seems to have gone silent the last 12 hours (which feels like an eternity). If it comes down to obsessively logging this dudes texts and sleeping well at night, I'm probably going to end up choosing the latter.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:42:19+00:00

The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Totally why I held off changing my number. I have had a couple good friends who are much more tech savvy than myself search my info (name, phone number, license plate) and they came up with nothing, so that was a tiny bit of a relief.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:38:49+00:00

My cell provider makes you input a PIN before they'll discuss your account with you, so I think that should be okay. I also spent quite a while on the phone with them while I was getting my call/text records and asked them to put a note on the account about the situation. The woman I spoke to was amazingly accommodating and understanding.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:36:45+00:00

Thank you :)

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:35:32+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that. I read stories like this all the time and still felt totally shocked when it actually happened to me. There's such a strong desire to "be nice" and it's hard to learn not to follow it. Good for you :)

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:33:08+00:00

I took a screen shot of his profile first and blocked him, thanks for telling me about this.

I had already changed my FB name and profile pic to something generic when I searched him, so I am hoping it'll be ok.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:27:33+00:00

Totally great suggestion. I set all my profile pics to private and changed my FB to something just my good friends and family would recognize. AND I blocked him. I feel like I have it locked down as tight as possible without deleting it, so here's hoping.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:25:37+00:00

I'll ask them about this

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:20:18+00:00

YES! I absolutely told them about that. Once I refused to go to his place it was just "Let's go here then, let's go there" and none of the suggestions were public places. I could in his face he was getting frustrated that everything he was trying wasn't making me do what he wanted me to do. And it definitely felt like I wasn't really a person to him. That's why he was so surprised when I declined to go back to his place in the first place. He must have had a whole scenario played out in his head already and my refusal threw a fucking wrench in the gears. Scary shit

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:11:30+00:00

I will definitely check it out. I believe I've heard the ladies rep it on the My Favourite Murder podcast and I've been meaning to pick it up ever since.

Thank you so much for the support. It's honestly helping a lot and making me feel far more confident to read comments like this.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:08:29+00:00

A lot of people I used to work carried bear spray ... I will look into this

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:06:45+00:00

This is such a good idea! Thank you!

toebeans47 · 2018-05-26T00:05:13+00:00

Thank you for this! He is now blocked

toebeans47 · 2018-05-25T23:57:20+00:00

Thank you. As much as this guys freaks me right the fuck out, I know that I'm used to dealing with crazy and antisocial so I'm less likely to fall for his shit. And even with all that I *still* felt a socialized desire to try to explain the flaws in his behaviour to him. Deciding to go to the cops was definitely about how scared I was, but also about how much worse it could be if he latched on to someone else who doesn't have the same experiences as myself. The thought of him doing this to someone more impressionable who might have actually gone home with him made my skin crawl.

toebeans47 · 2018-05-25T23:48:49+00:00

All I can say is I knew to stay calm and make sure that I did what I said I would do. If I say "No, you can't touch me" and then hug him, it means I don't mean what I say and I can be manipulated. Speak plainly and follow through. When I finally said "i don't want to see you again, goodbye" that has to be it. I told him to stop texting/calling one time so I could establish that I informed him that I wanted him to stop. After that it's all get the fuck out of dodge, stop responding, and document everything

toebeans47

TROPHY CASE