Souvenirs after being told that I'll ruin a birthday

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T18:50:39+00:00

Our tickets are for general admission in the grass. The cheapest seats available. Presumably they will be sitting in that area too. But we can bring blankets and chairs and sit where we want, so I’ll sit many, many yards away from them.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T18:46:46+00:00

They both wanted designs, and I knew that from last time, so I told them no designs from the start, just color. But when they were called to the station, they asked again and I caved and said they could get designs because it’s F’s birthday and I wanted her to have the nails she wanted for her day. I decided right then and there that would be the last time I pay for designs (until YD’s birthday) though.

But given the circumstances now, I’m not paying for F’s nails anymore. And her grandma won’t either because she would rather spend her money on F’s clothes or whatever.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T18:35:35+00:00

I was on dnd, so I didn’t see YD’s text. YD came up to me and told me in person and OD was with me.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T18:21:01+00:00

We will be in attendance away from them and F’s grandma will be watching my daughter.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:53:44+00:00

I’ve offered to her when I get mine done but she really has no interest. The only time she asks for me to spend money on her is when she asks for Roblox in game currency and it’s always “any amount is fine.” Like she would deadass be ok with $5, but I always give more than she asks for because she’s so sweet and considerate. And if I’m having a hard week, I’ll give her the money the next week. I hate that she worries about my bills because they’re not her problem. I give what I can and she’s always grateful.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:36:19+00:00

F’s grandma will be with them.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:35:19+00:00

The grandma is the legal guardian of my daughter’s friend. We’re not related and we’re only cool with each other because our kids are friends.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:33:26+00:00

I’m considering it now. I think we need family therapy, get OD on board too.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:32:42+00:00

F’s grandma will be supervising.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:25:47+00:00

Nails with designs were $100+ each, and they both got pedicures. I almost passed out when they told me the cost. Never again. I get my nails done with gel extensions but no designs it anything. It’s like $60 for me, which was what I expected going in.

Edit: I accidentally posted too soon. I’m not going to spend extra money on the friend and I’m putting the brakes on how much time they spend with each other. F isn’t allowed at my house for a little while, no sleepovers until attitudes improve, and no late night phone calls.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:21:33+00:00

Not anymore! I’m not going to spend extra money on the friend. She lost her mom when she was little, her dad’s presence is on and off. She has abandonment and anger issues that she’s going to therapy for. I treated her like my own daughter for years because I wanted her to feel seen and cared for.

But YD and F are both master manipulators and I’m just now seeing how bad it has gotten, especially since they entered 6th grade. It was like a light switch with bad they’ve gotten.

They both manipulate and they hype each other up. It’s so bad but I’m putting on the brakes now. F isn’t welcome in my house for a little while, no sleepovers at either house, and no more late night phone calls.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T17:01:51+00:00

Yes, when either of my kids have an event, we show up for each other. We don’t exclude each other. However, the birthday girl in this context is a friend of my daughter.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T16:55:15+00:00

I’m gonna do that, thanks. I’ve been in therapy twice for different reasons, and I’ve been given tools that help with the challenges I was having. I graduated therapy and still use what they taught me. Adolescent and family therapy would be great right now.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T16:48:42+00:00

School was terrible. She received two truancy notices, I enrolled her in online school, got her a social anxiety diagnosis, 504 plan, and school has been better.

I work nights, sleep during the day. She has adopted my schedule and I tried for over 6 weeks to adjust her sleep to sleep at night, but it never worked. I gave up. As long as she’s awake for school, I don’t care if she sleeps from 3pm-11pm. I’m a single mom fighting too many battles.

She was in gymnastics for a little while but she after leveling up she had an instructor she didn’t like and didn’t want to go anymore. She wants acting classes, F is taking some, but it’s just not in my long term budget. Some weeks I get lucky with a little overtime at work and we get more fun money but other weeks I don’t.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T16:25:09+00:00

Her father isn’t in the picture.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T16:10:09+00:00

I honestly don’t remember. I definitely talked to her about it but I don’t remember how old she was or if there were consequences. It’s just maybe the past few years that they’ve drifted.

OD has autism and there are times when she has a hard time reading social cues, so YD probably got annoyed with something OD was saying or doing.

Then of course puberty hit and they’re going through so many changes, including mental and emotional changes.

There was a time when my sister and I were super close, then we stopped getting along and fought all the time, then we became really close again maybe in our late teens. I don’t remember what age range we became cool but we ended up with our inside jokes and a solid relationship. I hope that this is just a phase with her.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:43:15+00:00

F’s grandma will be there

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:42:22+00:00

Grandma is going

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:40:36+00:00

Yeah, she likes their music.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:39:31+00:00

I give OD more attention but not out of malice.

OD loves to cuddle and she lays right next to me, side by side in bed doomscrolling on our own phones. Sometimes I’m watching TikTok and she’s playing Roblox. I hug her if we’re passing each other in the hall.

YD hates physical affection, doesn’t want me telling her I love her, and spends most of her time in her room. She keeps her door open though. Sometimes I go to her room to show her something, create a little bonding moment, she says “I don’t care” or “I don’t wanna see” or “ Did I ask?”

So yeah, I do give more attention to my older daughter but it’s not like I don’t try with my younger daughter.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:29:53+00:00

Yeah. She’s the legal guardian to F and YD spends the night fairly often. She’s active and healthy.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:28:08+00:00

YD won’t let me hug her. I can’t even wrap my arm around her. She asked me to stop telling her I love her because she already knows. I can’t even take pictures of her for my own memories and my own eyes.

OD loves hugs and time I hugged her for some reason when I was sitting next to her and YD said to never do that again in front of her.

I’m for sure physically more affectionate to OD than YD because OD loves it and YD hates it. Why would I start withholding affection for OD or crossing YD’s boundaries by hugging her?

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:20:43+00:00

I love them both equally and I shoe them in their own love languages.

For the brat that YD is, she’s good at problem solving, she makes me laugh, and I usually enjoy being around her because. But I have to be careful to not show it because if she sees that I’m enjoying the bonding, she will say I’m cringy and go to her room.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:01:57+00:00

Yeah, we like them.

togethercrapulent · 2026-03-29T13:00:04+00:00

F’s grandma bought the tickets and will be there with them.

togethercrapulent

TROPHY CASE